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Running into a problem, who's it gonna be?

 
 
Reply Thu 29 Dec, 2005 08:40 am
Ok, as most of you know I started dating again, I have been seeing a few guys now and I have basically narrowed it down to 3, possibly 4 guys.... but now I am coming to the point where they are starting to want to get more serious..... and I have no idea what to do.... who to pick... I know that sounds horrible, like it is some kind of game..... but I have never actually dated before... always been in a relationship


So I have this one guy who is the complete opposite of me, he is extremely shy but extremely nice... there when you need him.... but he also doesn't like going out, all he ever wants to do is sit in and watch movies, which is great, just not all the time....

Then I have another guy who I absolutely adore, but I am just sick of waiting for him... He's awesome, sweet, funny, outgoing... but he drinks alot and I am not a drinker... he goes to bars alot and is always on the go....

Then I have another guy who is really sweet, but I think it is all an act... he def. has an assh*le side to him, so I am slowly pushing him out of the picture I think

And then last but not least I have one other guy who is awesome, but I have no clue what he is looking for and I am no where near the stage with him as I am the other top 2, but I don't want to get in a relationship and then realize I missed out on something else

And I am ready for a relationship... which it probably sounds like I am not.... and I know in my heart who I want, but I don't want to hurt another and at the same time I am not sure it is completely what he wants!

HELP
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jespah
 
  1  
Reply Thu 29 Dec, 2005 09:21 am
A duel with nerf clubs should settle it.

Actually, helfino. If you want to be serious with one of them, then go for it, and let the others down gently but firmly. If you're unsure about getting serious, put them off (although you can't put them off forever). No need to be on anyone's timetable but your own.
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Crazielady420
 
  1  
Reply Thu 29 Dec, 2005 09:39 am
jespah wrote:
A duel with nerf clubs should settle it.


This sounds like an awesome idea.... hehehe I will take pictures :-D

Quote:
Actually, helfino. If you want to be serious with one of them, then go for it, and let the others down gently but firmly. If you're unsure about getting serious, put them off (although you can't put them off forever). No need to be on anyone's timetable but your own.


Thanks.... I guess I am just worried about choosing the wrong guy
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jespah
 
  1  
Reply Thu 29 Dec, 2005 09:56 am
Crazielady420 wrote:
...
Thanks.... I guess I am just worried about choosing the wrong guy


Isn't everyone? Smile
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Bella Dea
 
  1  
Reply Thu 29 Dec, 2005 09:58 am
Why should you have to pick?

Date them all. Just be sure they all know you aren't serious with just one of them.
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Crazielady420
 
  1  
Reply Thu 29 Dec, 2005 10:01 am
Bella Dea wrote:
Why should you have to pick?

Date them all. Just be sure they all know you aren't serious with just one of them.


That's what I have been doing, it is just get harder now cuz it is like every night i have a date with someone else, but somehow I still feel lonely i guess
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Crazielady420
 
  1  
Reply Thu 29 Dec, 2005 10:31 am
jespah wrote:
Crazielady420 wrote:
...
Thanks.... I guess I am just worried about choosing the wrong guy


Isn't everyone? Smile


True.... *sigh*
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Noddy24
 
  1  
Reply Thu 29 Dec, 2005 11:32 am
CL wrote--

Quote:
I know that sounds horrible, like it is some kind of game..... but I have never actually dated before... always been in a relationship


Why is selecting the right guy some sort of game? You've always been in a "relationship"--and the relationships haven't necessarily been happy ones.

Continue dating all four guys--you'll learn a lot about men, a lot about what you want in a man and a lot about yourself.
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flushd
 
  1  
Reply Thu 29 Dec, 2005 06:37 pm
Noddy24 wrote:
CL wrote--

Quote:
I know that sounds horrible, like it is some kind of game..... but I have never actually dated before... always been in a relationship


Why is selecting the right guy some sort of game? You've always been in a "relationship"--and the relationships haven't necessarily been happy ones.

Continue dating all four guys--you'll learn a lot about men, a lot about what you want in a man and a lot about yourself.


My sentiments exactly! What a lucky girl you are right now....are you having fun?

No need to be in a relationship or pick just one right now. That will come in its own time; and it will be sweet and natural.
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Crazielady420
 
  1  
Reply Fri 30 Dec, 2005 08:33 am
the problem is, like last night for example... I was supposed to go out with one, but he ended up not being able to make it at first due to the doctors, so another asked me to do something, so I said yes

But on my way to their house the other one called and said they were ready... so I had to blow one off basically....
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dagmaraka
 
  1  
Reply Fri 30 Dec, 2005 08:43 am
welllllll, sounds like you are not ready to date one of them more seriously. i mean, you'd KNOW which one if you really were ready. i guess i can only say what others did then - lurk around for a bit more, until you fall for one way more than for others. (i like the guy#1 myself. you don't need a guy that is everything, most important is that he's there for you, and he seems to be...)
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DrewDad
 
  1  
Reply Fri 30 Dec, 2005 09:37 am
Four sounds like a bit much. Perhaps you could pare it down by one or two.

Although carry on if you enjoy the chaos.
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Crazielady420
 
  1  
Reply Fri 30 Dec, 2005 10:08 am
I am more or less down to 3 right now, almost 2.... but then new people come along....

I am young, I am supposed to be doing this, right?!?

Well I went out on a date last night and had an awesome time and I really like this guy, but I really like one of the other guys too...

I've been seeing one guy for 3 months now, way more than 20 dates

this guy that took me out last night, I have been talking to him for about a month, but at the same time though we haven't gone out as much, he is a real gentleman

But the other guy is a real gentleman too

So I am just confused as all hell right now... cuz I know one may ask me to commit to a relationship soon and I want to, but at the same time I am just plain scared
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Noddy24
 
  1  
Reply Fri 30 Dec, 2005 03:30 pm
CL--

Get used to being charming and desired.

As for "Oops, I can't make it....", why shouldn't you make other plans?
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flushd
 
  1  
Reply Sat 31 Dec, 2005 12:02 am
Crazie, you're making me go all girlish ...I find myself smiling reading these posts, and happy/excited for you.

Welcome to the wonderful, wacky world of dating! Noddy's right - you best get used to be desired. Sometimes you'll have to decline, say no, and make tough choices (do I see Joe more often, or do I make time for John?). It's all part of the deal. We all learn as we go.

By the way, it is ok to make other plans if the guy couldn't make it as planned.
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Crazielady420
 
  1  
Reply Tue 3 Jan, 2006 11:27 am
Down to 2 guys now :-D, much easier to handle
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JPB
 
  1  
Reply Tue 3 Jan, 2006 12:08 pm
Which one is out of the picture?
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Crazielady420
 
  1  
Reply Tue 3 Jan, 2006 04:29 pm
The one that I didn't feel compatable with, he is still a friend, but nothing else at all.... he and I seemed to be opposites
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maddendominata
 
  1  
Reply Thu 5 Jan, 2006 11:18 am
no no no!
By dating all these guys you aren't finding what you like in a man. In effect your playing games with your own mind. The more you date the more confused you'll be. In the long road choosing one will only become more difficult because the options are so numersous. Trust me. All people have redeemable qualities, as each of these men will. Until you make a decision to give one of them your full attention you will be giving each of them only a portion of you. While this may add to their lust for you, eventually most men will be turned off for one reason or another because your not sharing yourself with one man. Your giving pieces to each one.
This type of dating behavior is what teenagers do. Not adults. You should continue to work on yourself, don't look for a relationship, look for yourself. Then once you find yourself, when that special someone comes along it will be a no brainier. All of these shenanigans are just mixing you up, hence the right one. How can their be one right one? Wake up!!!!
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Crazielady420
 
  1  
Reply Thu 5 Jan, 2006 11:53 am
Re: no no no!
maddendominata wrote:
This type of dating behavior is what teenagers do. Not adults. You should continue to work on yourself, don't look for a relationship, look for yourself. Then once you find yourself, when that special someone comes along it will be a no brainier. All of these shenanigans are just mixing you up, hence the right one. How can their be one right one? Wake up!!!!


I am closer to a teenager than an adult, being only 20.... so I don't see the problem with dating, it is not like I am sleeping with all of them, in fact I am not sleeping with any, I am single, I am young

It's not like I am playing the field and being secretive, they all go out with other girls also, it is nothing serious, some happen to grow on my more than others....

I know myself, I have no reason to find myself, I am right here, where I have always been, learning and growing, but still me!

I am not that mixed up, I know who I favor and who I don't. those that I did not tend to care for are gone, those that are good friends stay....

get what i am saying??

I am awake
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