Are you, as a straight person, intimidated by gay/lesbians?

I have two friends that are lesbians. I never feel uncomfortable around them. They know I don't agree with homosexuality but we have no problems being friends. We have personal boundaries set and we respect them.

CrazyD, I think it's very common to feel uncomfortable around people who are different from you. Try to remember that gay men won't, generally, try to 'convert' you or hit on you when they know your straight.

The only time I felt uncomfortable around a lesbian was when she, the partner to my favorite co-worker, told me I made her sweat while I was on break one day. That was disturbing because of the implied lack of respect she had for my friend..

If one feels comfortable in their own sexuality then those with different perspectives should not be a threat or cause for uneasiness.

I worked with a couple who were lesbians. I may not have agreed with their lifestyle but they were still very nice people. We have a friend who is gay and again, he and his partner are very nice people.

They are people first and gay/lesbian second. My thoughts, as a Christian, may be different than some others because even though I do not necessarily condone their lifestyle, neither do I condemn it.

I am not uncomfortable in the least.

Gay men intimidate me.

They are much more catty and critical of hair and wardrobe than any women I've known.

I don't "get" feeling more intimidated by someone of the same gender coming on to you if you are straight, than someone of the opposite gender.

Why is it more intimidating?


IF they do...most gays and lesbians I know have good gaydar. I think they would complain about straights of the opposite gender getting it wrong way more.



But yes, I do sometimes feel a bit intimidated by some lesbians, because some areas of work that I have to deal with are very dominated by separatist lesbians (though less so now, as the services they pioneered, bless 'em, have become more and more mainstream accepted) and I know they believe straight women are dimwits, and they can be very matronizing and unpleasant.

That's a damn small percentage, though....

I have no problem with gay guys. I find them great fun, and they usually have a wicked sense of humour.
The only problem I have experienced, was the other way round. My wife and I went to Lesbos (Greek Island, supposedly where Sapphos hung out), purely for a summer holiday. We didn't know that it was a popular place for lesbians, but soon found out that the ladies outnumbered the men by about 3 to 1.

We made some good holiday friends there, but I kept noticing that I was getting the evil eye from various females. I didn't do anything to warrant these looks, but they happened quite frequently. I walked into a beach bar (with my wife) one day, and the place fell silent.....seriously.

Now....I've never felt those judgemental vibes (neither has my wife) with gay men. Gay men seem to be the opposite, and will go out of their way to make a beeline for a woman at a party, and make friendly conversation. I can honestly say that I've never noticed a lesbian do the same with men.
Maybe the fault lies with men?....who knows?

Although I have absolutely no problem with having gays or lesbians as friends, but I have found SOME lesbians to be more.....and I'm trying to think of the right word here
......predatory?......territorial?......and quite overt in their dislike for men.

Hmmmm... a few gay men are misogynistic...but xenophobes exists in any group.

I'm not disagreeing, Deb.

It's just that I haven't yet met a gay guy that has displayed this behaviour towards the opposite sex. Maybe they are better at hiding it?

Mind you, I have met plenty of straight guys that have a "downer" on women.

As they say......there's none so queer as folk.

I am not intimidated by gay people. Just annoyed. Well, not by the ones I know in real life, just the ones I see on TV shows like Queer eye for the straight guy. But maybe they are only annoying because they're shallow pinheads.

So to sum up, I am annoyed by shallow pinheads.

You know, I have to agree with kickycan (again?!). I think that a lot of people have misconceptions about homosexuals because of things like TV shows, etc. I think most TV shows like that embellish the behavior quite a bit just to fit a stereotype.

Isn't that nowt, Ellpus?

Lol!

Yeah, I have been with manifestly misogynistic gay men, but maybe it is more subtle?

I have had a range of women friends who realised they were lesbian a bit later in life.....and some were like new non smokers!


One of my friends, whom I had first met when she was ensconced in quite a long term relationship with a guy, went interstate not long after she came out.

She phoned me to make a time to get together when she was in Adelaide one day, and in the chit chat, I mentioned in passing a relationship I was in....

"Oh!" she said after a while, when I said his name, and she realised the gender.."You still sleep with MEN!"

"Yes" I said, "but you will be pleased to know I stopped wetting the bed last week."

She apologised.




I was living in a share household with a couple of female friends 20 odd years ago, and watched and supported as they, too, realised they were lesbian.

They became VERY anti male for a while, a fact I think I kind of adapted to without quite realising how big it had got. I think I just kept men friends away after a while.

Anyhoo, one day I was at a party, when one of them rang to say I had had a visitor who was unknown to them. "It was a MAN" she said, in outraged tones. I think the combination of stranger, and man, was too much. I felt as though I had introduced a badly behaved dog into the environment!

I figured after that that it was time to move! Our cultures had become a little too divergent.

Yes, you're right Deb. Nowt is what I would usually say (seeing as my Nan came from Barnsley, and used this saying on many occasions) but I specifically used "none", becuase if I used "nowt", half of the people on this thread wouldn't have a bloody clue as to what I was going on about.

Here's another of her favourites.....

'Ear all, see all and say nowt,
Eat all, sup all and pay nowt,
And if thee do owt fer nowt, do it fer thysen.


Good old Nan. Had muscles in her right arm as big as a dockers, through years of chucking a shuttle on a factory weaving loom. Left arm was of normal proportions though. Always wore clogs when at home.

Wow!

Are you, as a straight person, intimidated by gay/lesbians?

Not unless they are heavily armed--see the example of heavily armed provided by Lordofsillallusions, above, in reference to his Yorkshire nanny . . .

The only time I feel intimidated is when I, as a straight female, just can't get that toss pillow to look "right."

Gawd! How do they do that?

Now SHE (Nan, not Squinney) would have intimidated you, Set.

Scared the bloody life out of me, sometimes....especially when she was in charge of us boys.

When we'd supposedly washed, she'd grab us and say another little rhyme, whilst rythmically scrubbing us with a soapy flannel (using the strong arm).

"Did 'e wash his dirty neck?
Did 'e 'eck!
Did 'e 'eck!

No.....you wouldn't have wanted to mess with her.

Actually, I am a little intimidated by Lord Ellpus.

To me, he is a sex god.


The other day, when I saw a new fella's wedding tackle for the first time, all I could think of was "Lord 'elpus".

Started responding to this from the homosexual man perspective and then the loud screaming voice began


"Stay Out Of It"



Sorry that you feel intimidated by homosexual men C.D. the fact is that there are sexual aggressors all over the place. Heterosexual men who go after off limits (married or lesbian) women. Heterosexual women who go after men they should not be (married and homosexual men). The fact is I have had heterosexual women try making advances on me...knowing my sexuality. People are who they are, and there are all sorts out there.

You want really annoying? Try dealing with the heterosexual male who makes fake sexual advances towards the homosexual male, usually in an attempt to get the homosexual male to say or do something inappropriate after which the heterosexual can point out what a perverted sort the homosexual guy is. Strange, but I thought the perverted act was the supposedly straight guy grabbing his crotch every time I was walking down the hall...it was funny the day he was carrying a stack of textbooks and ended up dropping them. Or how about the nutcase custodial worker who had a few unsavory moments. Have never had a gay guy do these sorts of things to me.

Don't close yourself down to the possibility of good friendships with the decent people out there C.D., and when it comes to the weirdos remember that you are entitled to walk away...whether they be heterosexual or homosexual.




In case you hadn't noticed...I decided to ignore that voice screaming in my head...regrets will come later.

Miss Wabbit, that was a very, very, very bad joke . . .















































. . . i salute you.