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GOT JESUS?--RELIGIOUS HILARITY

Forums: Spirituality And Religion
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Bella Dea
 
  1  
Reply Thu 15 Dec, 2005 03:13 pm
Jesus just got back.

He has something he'd like to return to you.

Are you by chance missing an ashtray?
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Arella Mae
 
  1  
Reply Thu 15 Dec, 2005 03:14 pm
Mr. Setanta,

Silly man! Don't you understand? All you have to do is ask Christ and He will give it to you. You just have to have a sincere heart in your request and He will grant it to you.http://web4.ehost-services.com/el2ton1/heart.gif
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Setanta
 
  1  
Reply Thu 15 Dec, 2005 03:14 pm
The bastard stole the ashtray, too ? ! ? ! ?

I suppose i better count the silver . . .
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Questioner
 
  1  
Reply Thu 15 Dec, 2005 03:15 pm
See if you can get a new car for me while you're asking, Set.
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Bella Dea
 
  1  
Reply Thu 15 Dec, 2005 03:15 pm
...oh and apparently a pair of your skivvies.
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Arella Mae
 
  1  
Reply Thu 15 Dec, 2005 03:17 pm
Mr. Setanta,

I am sure that if any of these things are truly missing that Christ understands you would want to give to those that are without, don't you? :wink:

He knows your heart better than anyone, Mr. Setanta.http://web4.ehost-services.com/el2ton1/heart.gif
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ehBeth
 
  1  
Reply Thu 15 Dec, 2005 03:17 pm
Not the Simpsons Christmas skivvies?

Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
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Setanta
 
  1  
Reply Thu 15 Dec, 2005 03:18 pm
Bella, you better go through his bag and PM a list to me, god knows what's missing here, and i mean that literally . . .
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Arella Mae
 
  1  
Reply Thu 15 Dec, 2005 03:20 pm
ehBeth,

That is more information than I cared to know, thank you for that visual.http://web4.ehost-services.com/el2ton1/shutup2.gif

P.S. That smiley is meant in the joking sense of shut up.
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Questioner
 
  1  
Reply Thu 15 Dec, 2005 03:21 pm
Don't worry set.


http://passion.catholic.net/4images/data/media/1/jesusarrested.jpg

Looks like the cops caught him.
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Bella Dea
 
  1  
Reply Thu 15 Dec, 2005 03:21 pm
Hm, seems that's it. I shall Fed Ex the under pants back to you and your ashtray, along with the money Jesus is working to get to pay you back for the bologna, cheese and bread. He said he is sorry about the stain under the recliner but Judas puked after the second bong and well, there wasn't much he could do.

He also wants to tell you he's sorry for peeing in the sink. You might want to have that professionally cleaned now.
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Arella Mae
 
  1  
Reply Thu 15 Dec, 2005 03:22 pm
Mr. Setanta Wrote:

Quote:
Bella, you better go through his bag and PM a list to me, god knows what's missing here, and i mean that literally...


Now you're getting it! Woo hoo!http://web4.ehost-services.com/el2ton1/heart.gif
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DrewDad
 
  1  
Reply Thu 15 Dec, 2005 03:23 pm
Momma Angel wrote:
Mr. Setanta Wrote:

Quote:
Broken bread Hell, he stole the damned bread just like he took all the baloney and the cheddar . . . just left an empty bread bag . . . it that's his idea of breakin' bread, we're all likely to starve . . .


Mr. Setanta,

Don't you realize that a lot of the things Jesus did were also lessons for us all? :wink: You let Him in. You let Him eat. You did nothing to stop Him. I would say that says a lot about you Mr. Setanta. You shared!

It is better to give than it is to receive, Mr. Setanta.http://web4.ehost-services.com/el2ton1/heart.gif


But the laborer is worthy of his pay....

Christ, what a thief He is! (Or should that be Thief?)
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DrewDad
 
  1  
Reply Thu 15 Dec, 2005 03:24 pm
He made holy water, Bella?
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Setanta
 
  1  
Reply Thu 15 Dec, 2005 03:25 pm
This just gets worse . . . last time i ever open the door for some joker claimin' to be the son of god . . .


The Homer Simpson shorts are safe, no thanks to god . . .
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Bella Dea
 
  1  
Reply Thu 15 Dec, 2005 03:26 pm
DrewDad wrote:
He made holy water, Bella?


yeah...right in Setanta's bathroom sink, er, I guess both his kitchen and bathroom, oh wait... Jesus...you'd better fess up young man....ok, apparently in the kitchen sink, the bathroom sink and also in a stock pot and the garbage can.

Oh Jesus....go to your sofa.
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DrewDad
 
  1  
Reply Thu 15 Dec, 2005 03:27 pm
Whew. At least the d'oh nuts are safe.
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Setanta
 
  1  
Reply Thu 15 Dec, 2005 03:28 pm
The doughnuts ? ! ? ! ? Oh no . . .


BELLA, TELL THAT BASTARD THAT'S ONE MORE HE OWES ME FOR . . .
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ehBeth
 
  1  
Reply Thu 15 Dec, 2005 03:28 pm
What Shocked

my recliner?

my sink?

my stockpot?

The locks are sooooooooo being changed.

I told him NO parties when I'm not home!
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Bella Dea
 
  1  
Reply Thu 15 Dec, 2005 03:29 pm
DrewDad wrote:
Whew. At least the d'oh nuts are safe.


Thanks DrewDad for reminding Jesus that he has something else he'd like to share.

Apparently, after smoking a big fattie, John or Peter (he can't remember which) brought over some Dunkin Donuts and they hid a bunch under Sets mattress. It might explain the smell....
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