Shoot, if you can meet someone without a catch, as him if he has a sister.
But seriously, everyone has a catch to them. A little quirk that makes them who they are. Some just have catches that are a bit worse than others when it comes to relationships.
Diane--
Are you lying to this guy about your age?
Quote:well i just said why i lied. Christ I feel like everytime i post here, my old problems are brought up. Either give me advice or dont respond. I dont appreciate my past being brought up.
Your "old problems" and your new problems are all very much the same.
Your past isn't going to go away just because you don't like talking about it in the present.
re
no i did not lie about my age. I told him from the very beginning. I actually didnt realize how young he was once he told me
Re: re
diana78 wrote:
... I feel like I have not much emotion in the situation really... I see him everyday, we have sex pretty much everyday.
...I still feel very disrespected.
...It's not like we are real serious... I feel emotionless right now. I cried last night, not over him, but just that someone would speak that way about me.
You have sex nearly everyday with someone who you are not emotionally attached to or serious about and then feel disrespected when talks about you as if you were an f-buddy. What do you expect?
To answer your question: yes.
You can't ask for one thing, accept it and then get mad when someone delivers just what you asked for.
Refer to JB's post above.
I remember diana78 extremely well. When I saw the name, I said to myself I shouldn't even look...
There isn't anything for me to say that hasn't been said by myself and several others before. Background reading could be useful for others to see the topic post in context - but more useful to you, Diana, to see the patterns of your relationships.
re
well i cant say i had no emotion towards him. I was kind of not letting myself get attached for fear that something like this would happen. We had a discussion adn said we were not just f buddies. He is the one who goes on and on about his feelings towards me. Last night he said i'd break his heart if i ended things with him. Like i said, he cried. So i mean no matter what that tells me there was some type of emotion on his part. I met his family more than once. I'm not going to sit here and justify everything, but it seemed to me to be more than a friends w/ bens situation. And again I've known him about 8 weeks. There was a lot of sex, but we did also talk a lot and go out...I dont know. I'm shocked by the voicemail i received, that's all i can say. I didnt ask for this, i did nothing wrong. I guess i meant that I NOW feel emotionless. I feel like a balloon that has had the air let out of it.
Don't take his tears too personal- he cried because he's afraid of losing the free and plentiful sex.
Okay. I read this thread through and the link to the previous thread started by Diana that soz posted.
Diana,
Which is more important to you: To be a happy, interested person or to have a man attached to you?
You need a break from all the man-drama. Seriously.
You need to stop lying. To others and to yourself. You are shooting yourself in the face. It is obvious to me you want to be loved, but you don't feel like you deserve it. So you BS and put on big dramas. Nobody is buying it; give it up.
You need to be alone and learn to love yourself.
I say this bc I have been there. I'm 26. You are not old.
BUT, if you don't face yourself now, you will one day look back and realize you pissed away your life just to avoid some pain. Ain't worth it. Count up your losses now and move on to a new story.
flushd wrote:Which is more important to you: To be a happy, interested person or to have a man attached to you? You need a break from all the man-drama. Seriously. You are shooting yourself in the face. It is obvious to me you want to be loved, but you don't feel like you deserve it. You need to be alone and learn to love yourself.
Yep. Better learn it now, or you'll be having to still learn it in ten years from now (ahem).
re
He called me last night 3 times in an hour and left two voicemails. The 2nd one was like, if you don't want to see me anymore, I just wish you'd tell me, I'm sorry about what I said, I don't know what else I can say, but please call me. So I called and he said more of the same. Just that he doesn't want things to be over, he's sorry, he's an a-hole. I said, I just don't know what to believe, I have never heard of people who think cheating on someone is cool/impressive. He said, well you don't know my friends. I said, I don't want to know them either. So he said he wants to take me out to eat tonight to talkĀ
I jsut dont know
You get what you deserve if you go to dinner with him. That might be mean but sorry, you are screaming for this cycle to repeat itself over again.
Nothing will change. And you will end up back here with the same story.
I can't stand it when people ask for advice and then refuse to even consider it. Either put up or shut up. There are no other options. Take what he's giving or leave it.
Gotta second that.
You know that his friends are obvously more important to him then you if he is doing things to impress them at the sake of your feelings.
you go out with him again you are telling him it is ok and that you are ok with what he does.
A guy with friends like this is your enemy.
I'll lay $20 that she went out with him.
And is waiting for his text.
I'm sorry, I don't actually mean to be so mean. Diana has a short but dense history of posts here, instructive to read. I once posted the links but am not doing it again. People are reading it all as if anew.
There is a pattern this is a part of and I don't think any of us are well equipped to help her without her getting proper therapeutic counselling.
I'm waiting for the traditional "I left the cell in my car and I'm afraid to find out he didn't call" post. Tomorrow? Next week?
I can't quite understand while she keeps returning to A2K. Perhaps she's reaching a point where she wants sensible advice rather than vacuous validation.
Or perhaps not.
