Don't know what to do PLEASE Respond in any way it will help

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ok my hearts torn in two directiosna nd I just can't seem to get any kind of closure on this problem. I've been dating this guy on and off for about 6 or 7 years now, we've never been broken up for more than a month and i really do truely care about him I love him really I do but then theres this guy I've known for awhile lets call him *mike* and hes absolutly gorgeous he has the sweetest funniest personality and I really like him. I just don't know if I want to give it a try and end it with this guy I've been dating for so long that I care so much about and have so much history with and start from scratch all over. I know I'm being selfish here but I jsut don't want to loose everything i have with lets call him *Dave* and give it a try with *mike* that may turn out to be nothing. So should I just stick with *Dave* or go ahead and try it with *mike* PLEASE let me know I am desperate even if your not really sure what to say just tell me what you would do because my heart is so confused right now I have no idea what its telling me.

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Hehe. I've dated multiple people simultaneously. I honestly don't feel like there is anything wrong with it so long as you are direct.
I've had "don't ask, don't tell" relationships where we are great friends but the relationship is non-monogamous. This only works if you have good trust and respect as friends; and you communicate along the way.

Talk to *Dave*. You won't necessarily lose him just because you want to see someone else. Find out where he is at. Does he think of you as his girl (one and only)? Is your relationship a "don't ask, don't tell" deal? Are the two of you exclusive? Just talk!

Be honest and follow your heart. Don't sneak around or lie if you care about this dave guy. Just renegotiate and tell him what's up. If you two know each other as much as you say; he probably is already sniffing out the situation.

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Its one of those he wants to marry me kinda deals. He wants to be with me forever yeah like that. I'm not sneaking around I only talk to *mike* and thats it even tho there was that one time that he kissed me not too long ago but we never talk about that because he feels really bad about it. I feel so selfish but I mean I haven't dated around like at all and thats just something I would like to do before I decide to settle down i mean I am young still but I mean if dave is " the one" i don't want to skrew up by taking this huge step because i am risking everything !

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Okay, I understand. That is a difficult situation to be in.

I'll tell you upfront I don't know. You have to make this tough decision, because it is your life.

How old are you? You said you haven't dated much: so does that mean that you have mainly been with Dave in a commited relationship?
What is it about dating other people (mike or anyone else) that is specifically appealing to you?

I'm sorry I can't be more helpful. My experience is different. I dated a lot and never wanted to commit to one person. By the time I found someone I wanted to be with exclusively, I had seen the ugly and fun side of the dating scene.

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Yep, that's a toughie alright, but then you already know that. I'd say whatever happens you need to talk to Dave. If you're in this much of a quandry over what to do you really should sit down say what's going on. Has Dave mentioned that you're acting funny or anything?

The one thing I would say is the potential for this kind of thing will always be out there from now till the day you die and you have to decide how important the relationship you have really is to you.

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WHY does she need to talk to Dave? That seems like the worst possible advice.

From the sounds of it, Dave is going to be heartbroken when he learns that she is interested in Mike and considering dumping him. No matter where there relationship goes from here, he will never be able to forget that while he wanted to marry her, she was considering dumping him.

There is no information that Dave can possibly provide that would assist in making this decision. And, jesfre, you have to make this decision on your own.

Edit: that poll you have set up is horrible. Don't make your decision based on the votes of some strangers who aren't in your shoes!

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This relationship is really important to me i mean I do love the guy its just I've dated maybe 4 or 5 people outside of dave and i just don't think I've had enough experience and i really don't want to be settled down right now. I mean I'm not having fun with dave anymore and I don't enjoy seeing him like i once did. I don't know I'm so confused and my fear is that if I give up dave he will never come back to me if i find i made a bid mistake

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whoops sorry about the double post

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Back in May, Jesfre was thirteen. A review of her posts might be in order.

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Jesfire: If you are pulling ou collective legs with your posts this year,then shame on you !
Having said that,if your posts are serious,run,don't walk,as fast as you can from your current dating dilema. If anyone ever found out about the 24 y/o man,he could be in great trouble for the rest of his life. At age 13,you should be concerned with growing and maturing as a person,
not dating. Concentrate on your schooling,join some clubs at school,and please,be a girl before you try to be a woman !

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So...Jesfre is 13, and she's been dating someone who's 24 for 6 or 7 years...and she dated 4 or 5 people before she met Dave. Uh huh. Sure.

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Yes I am 14 now i was trying not to make age a matter in this problem that way i could figure it out and then decide with the age and everything, but now that everyone knows I guess it doesn't matter. well everyone please don't look at the age please jsut tell me what you think if you were in my position don't let the age make you post something different

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This has nothing to do with anyone that is 24 ??? Please do not make assumtions. The guy i am interested in now is 16 and the guy I am dating curently is 15

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Hate to break it to you darling, but Age is a damn good indicator of emotional maturity and life experience. At 13, you're closer to a baby than a woman.

How the heck do you date 5 guys before you're 6 years old? Stop lying to us.

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yes i did date a guy who was 24 a little while back but with the help of this site and mainly from ossobusco I did the right thing and ended it.

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So you were dating Dave and the 24 year old at the same time then?

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NO please stop making assumtions I stated clearly in my first post that me and dave were never broken up for more than 6 months

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we have broken up a few times and dated other people but never for long. I have been dating dave since I was 8 years old thats 6 years

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who said anything about 6 years old ??

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Don't know what to do PLEASE Respond in any way it will help

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