edgarblythe wrote:Ethyl Laverne Smith, also known in Virginia as Etta Funt-Germaine, has waved her rights of extradition. She is scheduled to be moved to Roanoke on Tuesday morning, where she faces the capital murder charge of torturing to death a tourist from Ottawa. Her son remains jailed on charges of engaging in sexual acts with the corpse of a missing next door neighbor. Joe Smith, Jr., is not suspected of helping his father in killing the neighbor, pending further information.
Hang on, I thought she was the dead woman in the freezer?
Did she thaw and come alive?
The victim was Helen Funt-Jackson. The Funt was never explained, being it appears in more than one name.
Joe Vanilla Smith, Jr., sits before me, his eyes mostly closed in self meditation.
"Joe, did you hear that your mother has escaped and is now on the run? What do you think is going to happen to her?"
He begins a baleful stare meant to cut like the blade of a chainsaw.
"What on it? She been that way before ise born, weren't she?"
He appears bored after that.
"Joe, tell me about your father and Helen Funt-Jackson."
"He was in love with her, then, and he wanted to share this love with me. Only thing, she didn't cooperate, even when he brought her down and chained her to the post. I thought, bloody hell, and went to the concert. That night, she were dead, and father wanted me to kiss her. That were how we started. It was love, not truly murder."
"Do you have any words for your mother, in case she reads this?"
"Yes. Give 'em bloody hell, Mom. Don't let 'em take you."
I signal the guard it's over.
"See you in court, Joe."
"Yeah, dig it, man."
Hmm, that's quite the family they've got going. Feel the love....
I don't know what the world is coming to, Reyn. How people can exist like this is beyond me.
I tell you, Edgar. For a minute when you started this topic, I thought maybe it was a joke, but this is getting too bizarre. Nobody could make this up!
It's almost something out of the Twilight Zone.....or from "Deliverance".
It is my contention that people are much more bizzare than anything any writer could contrive. This morning's local news is full of a tale of a convenience store owner, arrested for solicitation of murder. She had given the gas company a rubber check. The gas company pumped all the gas back into the truck. For that, she ordained he must die. Like most of these kind of people, she approached an undercover policeman for the job.
Edgar, this is so funny!
Please could you PM me regarding your book, too? Perhaps I could be your Oz publicist?
i dont want it to end.
it is a juicy story
sickening to the very last letter...
A 35-year-old man arrested on charges of having sex with a corpse walked out of the county jail today, and lawmen are appealing for the public's help in finding the so-called Where's the Beef Romeo.
Joe Smith managed to get into civilian clothing and ''apparently he fooled somebody into thinking he had some reason for being there, and they let him out,'' said Sheriff's Officer Lt. John R. Mulvaney.
Smith escaped from a secure area at the jail at about 3:30 p.m. today, said Mulvaney, who didn't know how authorities discovered the escape.
Channel 11 reported that deputies said Smith had what appeared to be a badge indicating he worked for the Attorney General's Office.
Maulvaney said Smith is considered extremely dangerous and should not be approached if spotted. He is described as white, 5' 10", and weighing approximately 180 pounds. Smith was last seen wearing a dark blue shirt, khaki pants and white tennis shoes.
Mulvaney said Smith is involved with the Aryan Brotherhood and there was a possibility that the organization may have helped him escape.
''We're definitely looking into the possibility that he had help,'' Mulvaney said, ''especially in light of the fact that he had civilian clothing and an ID.''
Officials ask anyone with information regarding Smith's location to call the County Sheriff's Office.
This story keeps getting better and better.
How long, you figure, before they make it into a TV movie?
I don't know. I want to be considered for the part of Mulvaney, if it gets that far.
Who they going to get to play the part of the corpse?
Perhaps some politician. :wink:
Reyn wrote:Who they going to get to play the part of the corpse?
Perhaps some politician. :wink:
Yes, auditions will be conducted at precisely 10 a.m. tomorrow, inside the Oval Office
Holy cow! I am just catching up on this thread..... yikes.
littlek wrote:Holy cow! I am just catching up on this thread..... yikes.
Hey, where the heck have you been, eh? This is currently the hottest thread on the board!
I can't wait to see what happens next.
