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Sat 29 Oct, 2005 09:15 am
Springfield -
A man was found dead in his own bed this morning, of what appeared to be natural causes. There were no suspicious circumstances. His wife, who had spent the night with her ailing father, came home and made the discovery. The as yet unidentified man lay beneath the blankets in his own undies. His right eye was closed; the left slightly open. No other information was made available as of 10:15 AM this morning.
i once shot an elephant in my pyjamas
how he got in my pyjammas i'll never know
(ba-dum-bum)
Newscasting can be a lonely business.
Re: Man Dies in His Undies
edgarblythe wrote:Springfield -
A man was found dead in his own bed this morning.... His wife, who had spent the night with her ailing father, came home and made the discovery. The as yet unidentified man lay beneath the blankets in his own undies...
Strange that his wife could not identify him.
He was unidentified to the media, pending notification of his mother, who is herself in ill health.
Where his undies clean? Sorry, could not help myself. *clears throat*
And what type of undies? Were they boxers or briefs? White or some color? It is very difficult for me to fully grasp the gravity of this matter without those extra visuals.
I confess that undies are not my expertise. Perhaps that will be covered in the news release that has been promised for this evening.
Death came with gentle jaws
And stealth into the room
Soon leaving on padded paws
Reeking the spell of doom
A man found dead in his bed this morning was determined to have simply given out. He died quietly and effortlessly. He wore his own undies and they were described by his wife, Ethyl, as a bit bunched, otherwise, normal. Asked what type they were, she answered simply, "Boxers. Blue."
The man's name was Joe Vanilla Smith. Besides his wife, he left a son, Joe, Jr. He will be intered at the Our Sorrowful Lady of the Sorrowful Tears Cemetary on Tuesday.
is this a SERIOUS news story?
A man dies in his home, in his bed, and the media asks his wife about his underware?
that is morbidly funny..
sad..
but funny
You would have normally expected someone like me to post a story like that!
Thanks, Edgar! :wink:
Reouters
In a surprise development of a story presented earlier, Ethyl Laverne Smith reported to police she went to remove some of her late husband's porn from the computer. It was in preparation of presenting the old HP to her son, Joe Smith, Jr. To her surprise, there were videos on there of Joe, Sr., having sex with what appeared at first to be a very stiff dummy. On closer examination, she was not so sure it was a dummy at all. There were no distinguishing features in the room where it was taped. Acting on a hunch, she went down the narrow steps to the basement, where she found a small bed. The state of the bed, the suspicion building in her mind, led Ethyl to open the great freezer, where they had been in the habit of storing moose parts from Joe, Jr.,s hunting trips. She was stunned to discover the body of her missing neighbor, Helen Funt-Jackson.
Police detectives arrested Joe Smith, Jr., after it was determined he had also engaged in having intercourse with the dead woman's corpse.
Detective Card Franks said they had looked on the computer and realized that one of the videos featured both Smith men indulging their sickness at the same time.
This story has taken a very bizarre twist indeed!
this gives a whole new meaning to having a stiffie....
It was a good death. 
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