Man Dies in His Undies

A bizarre news story from Friday, October 30, took an even more torturous turn, when it was discovered that Ethyl Laverne Smith, age 47, matched the description of a woman who had fled the state of Virginia, after being named as a suspect in the torture death of a tourist from Ottowa. Her fingerprints matched those of Etta Funt-Germanine, a one time cosmetics sales agent and part time hooker with an eye to the good life. Smith has been jailed and is expected to be extradited next month.

*screams* I'm lost, I'm lost. Who, what, where??? He had my undies you say!!! *screams*

ok, so this dead woman, had another identity wich was linked with torture of other people?
And this dead woman was the one capt underpants was screwing .. and keeping in the freezer?

holy..****..

It just gets worse. We at the Globe Newspaper desk are in shock, even as we seek out new information on this unfolding story.

There's a lotta people named Funt in this story, so right now I'm waiting for Alan to show up.

McGentrix is trhe mystery man? I'm not that surprised frankly.....

The irony involved here with the name "Ethyl", and a body in the freezer…somehow reminded me of this very strange and sick Alice Cooper song


Ethyl Ethyl let me squeeze you in my arms
Ethyl Ethyl come and freeze me with your charms
Come on Cold Ethyl
Freeze me babe

One thing - it's true
Cold Ethyl I am stuck on you
And everything is my way
Ethyl don't have much to say

Ethyl Ethyl let me squeeze you in my arms
Ethyl Ethyl come and freeze me with your charms
Come here Cold Ethyl
What makes you so cold? Ooh so cold

Cold Ethyl
Cold Cold Ethyl
If I live 'til ninety-seven
You'll still be waiting in refrigerator heaven
'cuz you're cool
You're ice
Cold Ethyl
You're my paradise

Alice was bizarre too. Two more posts and I hit #20,000.

I'll help you out. Is your book ready yet?

I am getting it into a PDF file today and it it will shortly be launched. I put my 20,000 reply on another thread, one about Civil Rights protests.

When I first joined this forum, you had about as many posts as I have now :wink:

Looking forward to reading your book...could you PM me when it is available

Of course.

I have to agree with Jespah here.

Edgar, you realize that you're going to have to provide a program for this thread? No one can tell what the heck's going on here!

<Program! Get yur hotsy, totsy program 'ere. Hot off the press!>

Seriously though ( ), Edgar and I have a one upmanship thing going on here between this topic and my chappie in the Tim Hortons drive through..... :wink:

His name wasn't Funt, was it?

It's as obvious as pie that the lady in the news story uses her maiden name in all her aliases. Try to keep up, people.

Dangit, now I gotta change all my aliases.

<signs name Jespah Funtowitz>

Hey, we kept the ethnicity, know whut I'm sayin'?

She's a very misunderstood lady. She only charged her male customers because her husband told her to go out and make a buck.

MAN IN JAIL CHARGED WITH NEW CRIME

Joe Smith, Jr., has been charged with attempted buggery of a new jailer. The young man came into the cell when Smith repeatedly rubbed his genital area, groaning and begging for help. When he approached, Smith grabbed his hand and tried forcing it to his genitals. As the two struggled, Smith was able to get the jailer's pants halfway down. It was then that Bubba Hathaway came in to check on his charge and broke up the scene. He quieted Smith by lambasting him over the head with a billy club.
Smith will face his new charges along with previous charges of sexually assaulting a corpse.

hmm

this is getting sillier and sillier..
is this from the Onion?? HAHHAHa

these people are REALLY touched in the head..

All the news that fits.

I guess, it is just beyond me how a father and son can be so... horrid?
They .. together... had sex with a body..

I know humans can be broken beyond repair.. but 2 in the same family..
>shuddering<