@Thomas,
I have taken an extra day to think about your questions. Being a fairly new believer I feel inadequately qualified to answer the hard questions you ask. I did find a very good answer through Google.
Here is the link
http://www.gotquestions.org/is-God-cruel.html
It is fairly short and to the point. If you have the time to read it and comment I would be pleased to continue to discuss it.
It even has a paragraph on Job.
God created us, and we cannot pretend to be smarter, kinder, or a better judge that He is. The created is not greater than the Creator.
The article does not specifically address the death of innocent children that you find so awful (as it is) but Jesus said:
"Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these."
So , I take that to mean that little children all go to heaven.
The time we spend on earth is so short compared to eternity. But it is here that we decide where we want to spend that eternity. Heaven is an incredible place that will feel more like home than any home ever did. It is not boring in any way.
I want to go there , I want to spend my eternity with God, not with those who rebelled against him in their pride.
In "the great divorce" CS Lewis describes hell as not a place of torture but just a place where people blather on endlessly about themselves and their own accomplishments , ad nauseum. They don't want Heaven, they are too self absorbed to be there.
If you don't believe in eternity and heaven then of course, death is a horrible fate. But earth is just the place where we decide if we want to serve ourselves or serve a holy God.
Thanks for continuing to answer my posts and for not resorting to name-calling! I appreciate it.