I need someone to write me a RAUNCHY STORY A.S.A.P.

This dude was like a firefighter, right? So one day he's on the internet chat rooms at the station. He uses chat rooms because he looks like he fell out the ugly tree, and smacked his grill off every branch on the way down.

One bitch keeps talking to him, asking questions about his fire pole, and what color socks he got on.

He put down his grilled cheese sandwich, because he can tell this broad is ready to rock.

He tells her "get yo' ass down to the station, and you can see first hand what kind of fire pole I slide down every day."

She goes down, and he's wearing a George Bush mask because he's so ugly.

They knock boots.

The end.

Not that kind of story slappy... I am talking about one that would give hard ons to guys not like you... getting turned on by George Bush... you're sick

I am sure Bella or Shewolf or Chai Tea could right a good one...

Try this one on for size.

This guy was at a bar, and some fat chick bumped into him. They start chatting and she says "so what do you do for work?"

He replies, "I'm a ninja. Just kidding, LOLOLOLOLOL! But you should have seen the look on your fat face...I'm a firefighter."

"Wow, I love a man in uniform."

"Then follow me to the bathroom, I've got some twinkies I can stuff down your pie hole when we done."

They go the bathroom, knock boots, and she eats twinkies.

The end.

Just send him this picture and tell him that this man is currently living in one corner of your home.
You are a dominatrix and if he cant comply he is a waste of your time.

hahaha lol... I'm not trying to scare... just tease him

I want to sound seductive and tease the hell out of him.... it is soooo much fun... ahhh

Seductive and raunchy are two very different things.

Shewolf, what did I tell you about putting those pictures of me up?

For punishment, no felching for you at least 2 weeks.

Ok.. I will go seductive then.. sorry for the confusion..

I just need it to sound HOT (not pun intended)

See? Seductive gets you a guy like Andy Garcia.

Raunchy get's you Slappy.

Can I have a little of both mixed together?? I just need to send this guy a story to get him going,.... haha

How uncreative are you? Can't write something yourself?

Write something, post it, and we'll make fun, er, I mean, help you edit.

Basically what I need is this

The setting:: an empty fire station... location.. where the fire pole is :-)

What's happening... pole dance and then hot steamy sex...

I just need details to provide images.. but everytime I go to write a story in comes my boss....

I need to make it juicy... use alot of terms like hose (fire hose)... and hot and wet and stuff...

Anyone??

Well first we'd need to have the station to ourselves... or at least a part of the station to ourselves... you could start by showing me how to ride the pole... because I have never rode a pole that big before...

Then you could show me your fire engine... and show me how your engine runs... how to control the hose, not let it blow too early....


Does that sound bad to start?

Can there be gerbils in this story?

I think shewolf picture is a good jumping off place. You know, love slave and all that.

Maybe that guy has been driven insane by having to watch the female pole dancer fire girl. Look but don't touch.

A few years back when she first rescued this guy from a burning building, he as known as johnny depp (like that bella)

she layer by layer, like a bloomin' onion at outback, peeled away every layer of his humanity.

she is a cruel mistress.

Oh! the gerbils, um, um, every night the gerbils crawl out of johnny depps butt and report to the firegirl to discuss the activities of the day.

I know, that part needs a little work.

I need someone to write....
C.L.; Just make yourself and your boyfriend the 2 main characters,with you as the firefighter,and him as a Chippendale's
exotic dancer

Could we make the story a little sexy.... not so scary.... kinda like a romance novel but more hot and steamy.... no quivering members

The morning rays of the sun penetrated the upper window of the fire station and illuminated the dancing dust mites. Below the shiny chrome firemen's pole stood alone -- a solitary pole with something missing -- the writhing body of a naked cheerleader. But then she appeared, her pom-poms twirling feverishly in the morning air. Somewhere in the distance a dog barked.

Is that what you're looking for, crazielady? I can toss in some well-hung midgets if you so desire.