The Love of My Life Got Another Girl Pregnant

punctuation and paragraphs chica

Whether he wants this child or not, this child is his responsibility. Right off by him saying he doesn't want this child, I have little regard for him. Imagine this poor child is going to start off life in a difficult situation. Not only does it appear, this child will be raised by the mother, but the dad wants nothing to do with her/him. If this is how responsible he is - then I would not want anything to do with him.

Does anyone care about the child? Seems all three of you are wrapped up in your own personal feelings and no one is thinking what is best of the child. I think all of you need to really reflect on the seriousness of the situation. This is a human being you are talking about - the father and mother need to grow up and decide what is best for the child and take care of that - all of your love lives need to be put on hold for that.

If he does decide to step up, his time and money will be (as it should) dedicated to this child. Are you ready for that situation? You will no longer be number one (if you ever were considering the circumstances). Are you mature enough or even do you want to deal with that situation? It just adds another level of complexity. In my opinion, I would count myself lucky and get out of it. There are many more responsible mature men you could choose from.

I guess I just don't get it. Maybe I am too old-fashioned, but what you seem to be saying is that it is no big deal to you shortygurl that he sleeps with someone other than you sometimes. You still love him. After all, it is asking a lot of a man to be faithful to one person at a time, isn't it? Poor guy just can't help sleeping with someone else while claiming to love you, he has no control over his own body, does he? Guess he really is no better than an animal, sticking it to anything in heat. And that is what you want for yourself?

You gonna still feel this way if the two of you get married? I guess being faithful to someone you claim to love is not what it was once cracked up to be.

Tell him he should have though of that before climbing into bed with her. This guy is playing you like a violin and you are taking it. You are making up excuse after excuse for him so frankly, I think if you are so convinced that he loves you, it's you with the problem, not him. You keep taking it and taking it. So guess what? He's going to do it until you say no more.

no hes my ex too so if he wants to sleep around that is his choice he isnt committed to me or her so he can experience whatever with whoever he wants and he told me if he gets into a reltionshipship with me hed stop messin around which i dont kno if i should believe we were together for 2 years in the past and he has never cheated on me we lived together and i dont think he would hes only 20 years old and before he settles down with anyone he wants to experience life can u blame him he doesnt kno what its like since before him and I were in a relationship he was in a previous relationship for 2 years so he's always been in long term realtionships so he didnt cheat on me he is my ex we never got back together yet we were tryin 2 then he found out she was pregnant

No YOU were trying to. He was screwing another girl.

then why can't u go out and experience life... why are you sitting here waiting for him while he obviously isn't doing the same for you... think about it... he'd get mad at you if you talked to another guy, but he can go sleep around...

WAKE UP and smell the coffee.....

Shortygurl, you go do whatever you want. You came here for advice. The fact that everyone is telling you to walk away only seems to make you more determined to explain this guy's actions so that you will get the advice you WANT to hear. I don't think you are going to get the advice you WANT to hear.

So why did you even bother posting the question to begin with? Go ahead, crawl back into his bed. Go for it. It's not like it is any big deal to anybody here one way or the other.

you see he will take responsibilty if it is even his but this is my theory she cheated on him and got pregnant and is pinning it on him because she knew we were going to get back together and she didnt want that to happen this chick is physco she'd do anything to get what she wants and she wants him and she cheated on him and he knows it and she can't help it she is a pathological liar she says things to me all the time and she tried killing herself when he broke up with her and shes real mature to have this baby

Yeah, and you are just oozing maturity as shown by your last post.

First, he can easily prove it is not his, if it is not, so who cares what she says. Second, it is easy to have a theory. She probably has one about you that is strangely similar to yours about her. Funny how that works.

And I am pretty sure she is mature enough to have this baby. Raising this baby is another thing altogether. But personally, I'm not sure if any of the three of you is mature enough to be in a sexual relationship with anybody. But hey, it's just sex, right?

Shortygurl,

You're not listening. You think we're not hearing what you're trying to say, but we can hear it clear as a bell. There is no way this guy is a good thing. Seldom do the responses on this forum sound as if they are coming from one voice. We disagree with each other all the time. People come here, get lots of opinions and weigh the responses to their own situation. This must be one of the few times that A2Kers have all said the same thing in response to a question of this type.

Again, slow down, step back, read through all the posts, hear that we are trying to advise you. This is not a good relationship for you.

Best wishes to you.

thanks for the advice i know i need to move on and i will try

shortygurl, would it be possible for you to sorta move onto a slightly different circle of friends - so you can start meeting new people - maybe a guy who's a bit more grown-up and prepared to be in a relationship with a woman?

The whole scenario sounds a bit teen-drama, and not particularly healthy for anyone involved.

Shortygurl--



This is what he's telling you.

Do you really think he's telling her that he loves her second or third best and that she is just a temporary body to relieve his sexual tension because he really wants you? That he's in her bed planning a future with you?

This soon-to-be-daddy collects pubic scalps. As for the mother of his unborn child being unfaithful, that sound to me like the pot calling the kettle black.

This guy wants you to worry all about him and his life. Don't you have something more important to do?

yea he sucks im done with the drama weather it be his or not id rather be alone than dealing with something that will never be what it was so thank you for your advice even though i didnt want to hear it the truth hurts and im better than that and deserve to be treated better

Finally.. I am soo proud of you :-)

Me too...

shortygurl - you deserve good things. Sometimes we have to actively go find those good things - cuz life isn't nice enough to spread them out in front of us.

Take care of yourself - and come back to tell us about your adventures seeking out good things.

shortygurl - you should probably take a break from men for a while. Now's a good time to figure out why you put up with this guy's BS for so long and what you want the next go around.

You don't want to end up on Maury Povich do you? :wink:

Just to throw my 2 cents in, all this cheating and all this bed-hopping makes for a very real possibility of the introduction of a sexually transmitted disease. Yes, really. Yes, your friends. Yes, possibly your life.

Maybe you're fine. Maybe you're not. Maybe he's fine. Maybe he's not. I bet you've never asked him or, if you have, I bet he's told you that everything is hunky dory. Well, unless he's a doctor, he does not know that for sure.

I strongly suggest that you get yourself to a doctor or clinic and be tested for all the usual suspects: herpes, chlamydia, genital warts, syphilis, gonorrhea and, yes, HIV. I'm sorry if this seems icky. I'm sorry if it sounds like I'm saying you're a bad person (I'm not) or that I'm saying that you're dirty (I'm not). All I'm saying is that these bugs live and are spread due to this exact type of behavior, and even middle-class and upper-class people can get and carry and spread infections. It can even happen (although it is less likely) if condoms are used.

Do yourself a favor. Make an appointment. Get tested. It's all confidential. No one needs to know unless you tell them. You certainly don't have to tell us. Just, I urge you to do this, for the sake of your own peace of mind. You may be fine. You might not be. But in the meantime, syphilis and gonorrhea are curable and the others are treatable. But you need to get them at as early a stage as possible, before they do a lot of damage to your body.

Do this for your future lovers and, much more importantly, do this for yourself. You deserve to be healthy, and you deserve to know and be sure that you are.