Everyone argues – what do you argue about most?

Money was the top thing my ex and I used to argue about... then there was the stupid stuff like who is gonna take a shower first or why didn't you put the window down or did you drink my drink.... etc... It seemed anything that was posible to fight over, we did and we did it well..... or the way you say something

Household chores and the divison of them. He works more hours outside the home so he thinks he doesn't have to do anything inside the home.

i argue with my mom on costumes she doesn't like my wearing spaghetti...

Spaghetii??? Please enlighten us...

string tops....LOL we call them spaghetti in India

O-K spaghetti straps - I would have had to side with your mom on that one if it was just spaghetti.

LOL .......

Had to think about this one for awhile…

I'd have to say we become frustrated with each other over our different communication style. Big surprise huh, Mars and Venus and all that.

As you can probably tell from my writing, I like to give a person all the facts about something, thinking that this way, they have all the information they need to formulate an opinion, make a decision, etc. and basically won't have to come back and bother me anymore.

The wolverine is the tall, dark and silent type.
Food good.
Sex good
TV good

One result is when I give info to him, he'll just look at me with that Thousand Yard Stare, never getting that this WILL all tie together, "if you would pay attention"!!!

The other result is when he tells me something, I have to play 20 questions…

Chai..who was that who just called?
Wolv…Ed
Chai….Ed who? (we know about 5)
Wolv…Ed at the insurance company.
Chai…And what did he want?
Wolv….He was calling about that claim.
Chai….And……?
Wolv….They need more information to process the claim.
Chai….What do they need???!!!!

Now he's giving me the What is with All These Questions Look.

Sex/ Affection/ Tenderness

He just doesn't get it sometimes! We're in the middle of a disagreement about this right now, actually.

The funny thing is, I've been trying all this stuff i've read in relationship books, you know, "Mars and Venus in the Bedroom", etc., and one thing I've read over and over is to have some time where you both agree to cuddles with no possibility of it leading to sex...So he can work on being affectionate and knowing what I like without me feeling pressured for sex.

So I'd been asking to try that, he's been ignoring me, blah blah blah...then I forgot my birth control for two days in a row and--how sad!--we have to wait a week to have sex!!! I didn't do it on purpose but it sure worked out nicely...heeheehee Looks like it's the perfect time to work on being a bit more thoughtful, honey!

We actually had an argument about arguing.
She tends to go silent and brooding and won't talk.
How do you respond to something like that?

Oh god... doesn't every argument turn into an argument about arguing?

My darling and I usually spat about stupid things. Today was a good example. He was out building a fence, I was upstairs putting away clothes. He sings out, "Can I get your help in about 10 minutes?". I say sure thing, finish up what I'm doing then head outside with a smile and say "k what can I do?" He grumbles that he doesn't need my help now. I say..well u said you needed me in 10 minutes and he says "noooooo I said I needed you FOR 10 minutes". Then I realize he's mad and say "what? you're mad at me?" and he says (in an oblivious mad voice) "no, I'm not mad". I say "whatever" and march back into the house. That's the norm for our tifs, guess it's lack of communication. Usually all is forgotten within minutes unless one of us is in a particularly sour mood to begin with. Marriage, ain't it fun??

Probably the hours he works. He keeps saying he'll cut back, it keeps not happening. Last argument we had was him sending me an email at 8:58 PM saying "leaving now" and walking in the door at ~9:20 -- we've established that while I never like him arriving home late, I'm flexible until 9, but if he comes home after 9 without first establishing that with me he's in deep doo-doo. So I reminded him of that with not a little annoyance, but he took it well. (That is, apologizing and doing things to make it up to me.)

What really pisses me off about it is that it's not like I insist he comes home at exactly 6 every day -- I understand that his job is about inspiration and working without interruption, and if a long-struggled over paper is going well, he's going to want to continue. All I ask is that he TELL me what's going on!! Like, if at 6 he emails me saying "paper's going well, I probably won't be home until late", FINE. I can take that into account. What drives me bananas is when, starting at 7 or so (6 is "early"), I think he might be coming home any minute... maybe now... maybe now...

Anyway, what's gotten us to this point through a zillion arguments of one kind or another is that we're usually pretty good at being proactive, and we're working on getting his home office operational so he can come home, have dinner with us, then go back up to his home office and keep working if he's in the middle of something. I just got one of the final ingredients, a comfy armchair, so hopefully that phase can get started soon.

The good thing our disagreements rarely last more than 2 minutes, within 10 minutes they're forgotten.

Depending of the situation, I ask myself....

How important is this?

What does this mean in the big cosmic wheel of life?

Or sometimes....Do I want to die on this hill?

In all these years of peace and love, I have only answered "yes" to that last one once.

I haven't answered this because I'm not sure we ever argue. hmmmm, seldom, if ever.

The Lady Diane and I hust had a disagrement, it was over the qeustion of whether or not we had ever had an argument.

oh we NEVER argue!

He's Setanta.
I'm not.

Pick a topic.

That's the best I've heard all day!!!

I'm sure there's a special place in heaven for you ehBeth.