Everyone argues – what do you argue about most?

Nope, none that come to mind.



There was a time a few years ago when we were having a rough time. I guess we got into it a bit then, but as far as identifying an on-going topic of contention, I can't think of anything.

Giving this some more thought. The title of the thread is "Everyone argues" and Chai is in a state of disbelief that there are couples who don't argue. I'm not sure why that's so unbelievable but let me give it some thought.

Well, I don't like to argue. Apparently neither does Mr B. We don't necessarily agree on everything but we don't argue or try to change the mind of the other one.

I'm opinionated as hell and won't back down and at the same time I feel everyone is entitled to their own opinions even if they are different than mine. I guess I'm pretty much a 'live and let live' person as long as the person I'm trying to live with is the same way. He doesn't try to make me agree with him, I don't try to make him agree with me.

We both have approximately equal incomes, share the division of housework, he does the things I don't like doing (empty dishwasher, vaccuum), I do the things he doesn't like doing (laundry, cooking), we take turns making the coffee in the morning letting the other one get a few minutes extra sleep, treat each other with dignity and respect, decided early on that one of us needed to be the disciplinarian of our children so we didn't contradict each other, hardly ever watch movies together because we don't enjoy the same movies, he's an introvert, I'm an extrovert, we complement each other nicely.

After 16 years, I think we're doing just fine.

Mr. Noddy and I used to have a bicker-free marriage, but as his mental faculties become more and more gummed up with plaque and tangles, he's more and more likely to blame me for his moments of impractical omission and unwise commission.

Some days are definitely longer than others.

I'm sure they are, Noddy. When my father's dementia was progressing, I would call home nightly to check in with my mother. He would usually answer the phone. Some days he was fine and other days he was extremely argumentative. I spent a few minutes each day with him on the phone, my mother was with him 24/7.

Sending warm thoughts your way.

Hey J_B, that "Oh, we never argue" wasn't directed toward you, or the disbelief that there are people that never argue. I've never thought about that.

That "Oh, we never argue" was self directed at myself and my husband.

Sorry if you took it that way.





Speaking of that tho, on reading your definition, I guess my definition of arguing is much broader. For instance.....

When I left the house yesterday, the tile man was coming and my husband asked me to call before I got back home so he could tell me which door to come in.

I called him 2 blocks from the house and he said "Oh, come in the side door"
Got out of the car, walked to the side (kitchen) door and went to open it.
It was locked, so I knocked.
Nothing.
Knocked again.
Nothing
Knocked again.
Nothing.
So I started going around to the front door, and he poked his head out the front and said "I told you to come in the front"!
Me: "When"!?
Him: "When you were knocking I yelled to you to come in the front"
Me: "Well, I didn't HEAR you"
Him: "Oh"

That was the entire "argument"

Then we went inside and admired the tile work.

ahhhh, Mr B and I have lots of 'animated discussions'

Shmookiedoo - sounds like our lame arguments. I think it stems from one or the other not listening fully. I have to say that my husband is horrible about that. I will repeatedly tell him about something - either something that needs to be done or somewhere we need to go, or some commitment for the children and he never remembers hearing it. I think it is selective hearing. Unfortunately I have started developing the habit on occasion - I think it is a result of multitasking so much for me.

I do the same thing Chai - I think how important is this really and that tends to stop my big mouth before I say something (right or wrong) when it is something that is so insignificant why are we even talking about it. Unfortunately that is what most arguments are about - then I look at my husband and say - so what, what does it matter - unfortunately sometimes that makes him even angrier for whatever reason.

I think dyslexia wins for the most insane argument!

Never argue - that why I included disagreements. And also because different people consider different things an argument.

The ex-wife......

our only arguement ( meaning a subject that has been revisited.. ) is free time .

He works mon-fri 7-4. He doesnt have a physically ahrd job, he has the emotionally / mentally challenging job.
Dealing with angry requests for documents, motivating lazy workers, fixing and filing incomplete data reports..

I stay at home during the day with Bean, and work in the evenings.

His freetime is friday nights from about 7-8 to 3-4 in the morning.
mine...
errr...

when i go to the bathroom? And that is if he isnt hollering about needing help with baby..
And if I do find time to go out with some other friends, i get the ' i wanna go too'.. wich is FINE.. but , sometimes I want time away from everyone... baby included. And I dont feel like I get that privlidge.
When he comes along, I still have 24-7 baby duty..

this is a subject we have revisited.. sometimes in argueing mode, sometimes not.

Other then that.. we really dont have fights, we dont raise our voices, and we rarely get bothered by each other.
Things are pretty smooth.. :-)

Imagine an ultimate Martian being married to an ultimate Venusian? That's me and Mr. P. When I am upset, I like to talk things out. He wants to stay quiet, in hopes that the problem will go away.

I get mad quickly, explode, and five minutes later, homeostasis has set in, and I really can't remember what pissed me off. In the meantime, Mr. P. is having one of his slow simmers.

Seems like we have been playing out the same scenario since we have been together.

If this were Family Feud, I believe you have the top two answers. Money number one, no doubt. In my last LTR, I agreed to support her while she went to school to learn English, I figured this would be a year or two. Then it went on forever, she not only wouldn't work she spent money on (what I considered) unnecessary things. I got laid off from my 70k/annum job. I got 30k in severance. We lived off our savings for awhile, she still wouldn't work. In retrospect, I sorta don't blame her because she was a professional in Colombia. Here, she was forced into menial jobs. Anyway, we finally wound up splitting over $$$$. She also didn't approve of me taking the severance money to change my sex.

The other issues you mentioned are all control issues. The classic leaving the seat up or down issue. (actually the money issue is control too)

Mr. Noddy and I handle space in the same ways, but we are very different in the ways we handle time.

Lol...honest to God, the one thing we fight most about is where to eat. But the most interesting thing about this fight is not I want to eat one place and he wants to eat somewhere else and we can't decide. Nope...the fight is always about him wanting me to decide where to eat and me wanting him to decide. This leads into a huge fight about him telling me I can never make decisions when he is doing the same damn thing!

um money chores those are all good answers cuz thats what me and my ex always argued about just little stupid things who was gonna cook or clean

I have argued with every boyfriend I've had (not currently in a relationship). Perhaps this is my problem, and not theirs, or perhaps its just that I've never been in a relationship that truly satisfied me, and so I found reasons to argue with my mates because they bothered me and I bothered them in ways.

With my last boyfriend, we argued constantly about intellectual issues, mostly stemming from ideological differences between us. He is very practical, and also an Athiest. While I am not a model Christian by any stretch of the imagination, I do believe in God, and this was a fundamental argument between us. We also argued frequently about the importance of copyright laws, and definitions of plagrism. I have a very strict personal code of academic integrity, and he is more lax. He is the kind of person to find a loophole in the written rules of something and then take advantage of that loophole

For example, he signed up for free trials of a online audiobook seller (MP3 format) and did so several times because the site didn't specify you could only do so once but it was implied in a statement that said "we need your credit card information to make sure that you are a first time customer and are entitled to the free offer." When they nabbed him and sent him an 800 dollar bill for all the free books he got by milking the system, he held that he wasn't in the wrong - and ended up paying for it in the end. I have a more strict ethical system when it comes to that kind of stuff, and I didn't give him any sympathy.

So we argued about it, and about other stuff, and eventually broke up because if we were arguing about eachother's world views, then obviously we weren't meant to be together.

This morning we had the Battle of the Laundry Basket.

Me: WHY are there 5 or 6 laundry baskets in this house, and you won't let me use even ONE of them?!

Him: huh?

Me: You keep stealing my laundry baskets! You KNOW that's where I put my dirty laundry!

Him: (warming to the subject) There's a perfectly good hamper in the other room you can use for dirty clothes.

Me: I don't WANT to use a hamper

Him: I can see that

Me: I've used a laundry basket for my dirty clothes since I was 12 years old.
It's my birthday! I want a laundry basket, and I want you to leave it alone!

Him: Well here! But you're supposed to use a HAMPER!

Me: So - what do you want for breakfast?

Happy Birthday, Chai!!!

Have a great day and why the hell wasn't he making you breakfast?

You've never had the wolverine cook you breakfast.

I'd rather eat what's in the laundry basket.