cat gotcher tongue, dawg?
The solution is so simple that you must have already tried this, db. If not... take her away for the weekend. Do not have any family around, just the two of you. Think of it as a pre-honeymoon, please, not a test, but it will be both.
I'm assuming you were truthful when you said you do really, really want her, but it is her attitude towards you and the sex act concerns you.
Assuming that is true and you do want this woman, hope like heck that she will show you her true loving side during this bit of intimacy. Hope that she wants you. No parents. No Catholic guilt. No family. No excuses.
If it works out and you are intimate in the way you've always desired, then all is good.
If not, you've got to understand that a marriage would not be fair to you or her. Tell her so on the way home.
what solution?
she won't suck his penis. he finds that unacceptable.
I don't see a future. <s>
there's no future when the woman makes the man feel inadequate. <shrugs>
Hey db, still think this is a mature forum?
I'm with osso, don't get married because you can't think of a gallant way to break it off. Life expectancy today is in the mid-80s for men who avoid heart disease in their 60s. Before you get married you should think in terms of spending the next 50-60 years with this person. You're own sex drive might change over time, but you'll be kicking yourself in the butt.
She's religious and Catholic. She isn't going to consider divorce lightly. Don't enter into a marriage with a woman whose convictions and personal outlooks on sex and passion already have you at this level of angst. I'm curious, do you share her religious philosophies at the same level she does?
I don't know why the truth would be so difficult for her to bear to her family. They are the ones who raised her to carry these beliefs, they'll probably be proud of her for making a moral stand and think of you as the oversexed cad, so be it.
Two people who are sexually incompatable will not have an easy marriage.
jb, thanks for sayng what i couldn't say without my foot flying in mouth!
(my mercury's in sagitarius, and I am sticking by that excuse!)
db--
Explaining to her family is her job, not yours. Don't expect to be the Good Guy in her version, but don't go out of your way to damn yourself.
Osso's right. Details are not necessary for anyone.
You can say, "We decided to honor our incompatibilities." Or you can keep private affairs private.
You love her--but you want her to change. She loves you--but she wants you to change.
Each of you should find someone who doesn't need changing.
thank you all for your constructive and very differing yet similar opinions. I will use everyones advice to guide me in my final decision and will post again with any further developments.
thanks again
Get out ! I think what you see is what you get, with the exception that people get progressively worse. Sex is very important in a marriage , don't settle for someone that's not at your level of sexual intimacy.
