Comedy Central Present's...My Sex Life.

If you need someone to come video it for you, just let me know. My rates are rather cheap. :wink: And if it's that funny, who better to video tape it than a clown?

I doubt that it's that he doesn't know what to do or what you like but more that he isn't comfortable with you. Why, I have no clue. But sex should be free and like you said, natural. If he is trying to impress you or please you and you don't seem pleased, he might try harder which make the sex seem mechanical rather than sexy. I think you need to get him to relax and enjoy the moment. He is thinking too much.

Some people are just really awful in bed. What can I say?

If after having sex for 200 times a year for 5 years and he still has no clue.....?

Do you tell him what you want?
Although sometimes they still won't listen

Agreed Chai Tea. You gotta tell him. My wife went years before she finally got up the nerve to tell me that I had to start taking off the clown makeup before we made love. While I was a bit disappointed at the time, it did explain why she would often giggle when we made love.

But seriously, the point is maybe the guy is clueless. You gotta tell him, but do it gently.

This is so true! Just because they are men, and have more sexual freedom does not mean they will become good lovers.

As with most things, booze is the answer.

No Kicky!

lol, I feel so bad too. I know that the worst thing a guy could hear is the girl he just had sex with laughing her ass off. It gets even funnier when he asks me how sexy he is. I have this imprinted image of how marge must feel when homer asks her the same question...not that my husband is fat or anything, not all at, but he's such a klutz I feel like I am in a cartoon. I feel like at any second I am gonna hear
"wa.. wa.. wa..nannna"

The talking doesn't really help. You could spell it out for some men and they still wont get it.

I was kidding, of course, but actually, a glass or two of wine might actually loosen him up to where he'd be more relaxed. Maybe you should try that once, just for fun.

Some people are more sexually active than others too.

Dammit, I hate when my post is the last one on the page and then someone else posts right after it so nobody sees what I just said. Here it is again.

Well, I've laughed in bed many a time, but in a good healthy way. Sex can be fun as well as passionate.

Also, sometimes when you realize what you're doing and what it must look like, you realize how rediculous some of it must look.

OK, I'm gonna get down to brass tacks here.....

I knew this guy that would put his hand somewhere on me, but was literally about 3 inches off the mark, if you know what I mean.

I moved his hand up those few inches, but as soon as I let go of his hand, he would immediatley put it right back.

I did this 5 or 6 times in a row within the space of about 1 and a half minutes.

By this time, I was totally out of the mood and I snapped "What is it you think you're doing"!

He looked really puzzled. So I said "If I keep moving your hand a million times, doesn't that tell you you're in the wrong spot"?!!!! It turns out he didn't even know that a woman had a "special spot"

Frankly, I never gave him a second chance. There were way too many other things he didn't know, and he didn't have a good enough personality to compensate me for my time.

I like a man who understands what "1 millimeter up" means.

Oh kicky, before you have to ask, my "special spot" is in the shoe department at Nordstroms.

I knew my wife saw you in there not long ago. She said you looked simply orgasmic.

why dont you play a little game.
get some soft cuffs that he can easily slip out of , of course,
and tell him you are in charge

forget other times and make it right.
sex takes 2 . and not just 1 to make it bad.
if talking doesnt fix it, shut him up and do it to him.
Guide his hands, slow him down
climb off of him if he is getting too silly
roll over if he keeps " fallin out"
Kiss him if he wont shut up

...

Actually, I have given this some serious thought.

I have a friend, who is now divorced, who was married to a man oh, I don't know, at least 13 years.

They both had been married once before.

During a few long talks, she told me that her husband had learned everything he knew about sex from pornography.

He truly believed that every woman was just constantly ready, and were supposed to behave like they did in porno flicks. He couldn't understand the concept that a woman would not drop everything after a day of work, forget about taking care of the kids, or making dinner, to just screw for hours, moaning all the while.

Because of this, he called her frigid.

He would always position both himself and her in such a way like there was a camera there taking in all in, you know, like at an angle where the camera could get in there to get a clear shot. Head turned in a certain way, etc.

It was all a performance.


When you are with your husband, does it seem as if he realizes he is alone with you, and there is not a particular way you 2 can make love?

If you have told him what you like, how does he respond?

Also, a question for you....You say you end up laughing because it's so bad. Do you think he takes this laughter like you are enjoying yourself, or it's not a serious issue?

Now, to each his own, I'm not into playing fantasy games in bed, and maybe if he was to do this, it would make it all the more a joke for him.

Maybe separating this from the bedroom would help.

Going somewhere together where you can communicate privately, but where there is no sexual expectations.

Like going for a ride in the country, or a long walk, etc.

Just some ideas.

I'm sorry if I sounded flippant before.

Thinking about it, it really is something that changes your life.

What do you think?

Hmm.
I think Chai Tea brought up some good stuff, and kicky's wine idea wasn't a bad idea really either!

When do you find him sexy? What is it about him that really gets you going?
I think you need to take control here. Seize on every opportunity you catch him being sexy...and use it as an opportunity to teach him what you like. Incorporate it into every day living: gradually introduce him to natural and spontaneous ways of expressing sexuality. "Prime him" so to speak. I would even put off actual intercourse for a while..make him work for it, anticipate it, and learn a few things before your next time in bed.

You could do something like Chai said and seperate from your sitatution. I thought that was a good idea. Get out the old sex 'routine' and start fresh, in a way.

Just some ideas. Happy Humping!

Talk to him while you're having sex, move his hands to the right places, and tell him exactly what you want! Get him to move your hands to the right places for him (not that it takes much imagination!). There's no reason why he should be offended if you approach it in the right way with him, subtly during sex.

I really hope he doesn't read this thread..... !

So...girls aren't supposed to laugh during sex?

What does it mean if she gives you the thumbs down?

I hope he DOES!

Hey, kittkatt hasn't been back since her first post.
What gives?