Reply
Wed 5 Oct, 2005 04:50 pm
I just recently became aware of a certain man on my radar screen.
He's good looking, intelligent and articulate. He's hard-working and has the same kind of values I have. The more I've come to know about him, the more impressed I am with the depth of his character and soul. I also love his whole positive outlook on life.
So, of course, he's married. Not only that, he has five kids! (Three are from his wife's first marriage -- but he's been such a good stepfather to them -- they think of him as their "Dad." The youngest two are his kids --to whom he has also been an outstanding father.) This is just further proof of the kind of character that he has.
Of course, this means that I can't have him. I'd never approach someone who's married, even if they didn't have any kids -- I just don't do that sort of thing.
But this is what I'm wondering. Why does it always seem like when I finally find someone who is exactly what I've been looking for...it always turns out that someone else got there way ahead of me?
Now, if you want an immature, arrogant jerk who's full of himself and thinks he's God's gift to women, or doesn't even want a relationship...there are plenty of those around. They're easy to find!
But all of the good guys are taken! And there doesn't seem to be any place that millions of single women haven't already looked!
It's like when you go to the store, because you saw a pair of shoes in a catalogue that you really want. But when you get to the store, they don't have the shoes in your size or the color you want....but there are plenty of shoes in ugly colors, if you'd like to try some of them on.
But who wants to?
Sigh...I'm sorry about all this. I'm just feeling discouraged, and I needed to vent.
Thank you for being there and listening.
for a good cowboy boot you want it a little snug - fill it with water and put it on and wear dry - pretty soon you have a glove fit
I'm sure people present themselves to others differently while in a relationship, maybe as they are not looking for anybody else, and are more relaxed with the opposite sex? It's a shame that they seem to most attractive when they are not playing the dating game, this is when myself and people I have known have fallen the hardest for that certain someone who is married.
It is very easy to be friends with someone who is married, and lose sight of the original friendship, the closer and more comfortable you get. Attraction is a cruel game.
Blues Lyrics - Bessie Smith
A Good Man Is Hard To Find
All rights to lyrics included on these pages belong to the artists and authors of the works.
All lyrics, photographs, soundclips and other material on this website may only be used for private study, scholarship or research.
by
Eddie Green
recording of 1927 or 1928
from
1927-1928 (Classics 870)
My heart's sad and I am all forlorn, my man's treating me mean
I regret the day that I was born and that man of mine I've ever seen
Happiness, it never lasts a day, my heart is almost breaking while I say
A good man is hard to find, you always get the other kind
Just when you think that he is your pal, you look for him and find him fooling 'round some other gal
Then you rave, you even crave to see him laying in his grave
So, if your man is nice, take my advice and hug him in the morning, kiss him ev'ry night,
give him plenty lovin', treat him right
For a good man nowadays is hard to find, a good man nowadays is hard to find
Sing it, girlfriend. Can't live with 'em, can't live without 'em.
Noddy, I love the blues! I think I actually have some Bessie Smith recordings, some where in my collection. I'll have to see if I can dig them out!
Re: Sorry! What you want is unavailable...
Stray Cat wrote: But this is what I'm wondering. Why does it always seem like when I finally find someone who is exactly what I've been looking for...it always turns out that someone else got there way ahead of me?
Becuase a lot of other women are looking for the same traits in a man that you are looking for???
Feh, sorry. The whole "looking for a mate" thing can get distressing for a lot of people.
Quote:But this is what I'm wondering. Why does it always seem like when I finally find someone who is exactly what I've been looking for...it always turns out that someone else got there way ahead of me?
Now, if you want an immature, arrogant jerk who's full of himself and thinks he's God's gift to women, or doesn't even want a relationship...there are plenty of those around. They're easy to find!
I guess you're not the only one who doesn't prefer assholes
Hehee...because other women/experiences have already worked out the rough edges of those guys.
Gotta suffer with a not-so-perfect guy and love every minute of it
Just what I think.
Re: Sorry! What you want is unavailable...
Stray Cat wrote:
But all of the good guys are taken!
<SIGH> Tell me abt it ?
Heh, Husker.
That was deep...
set up monitoring devices on a few of those perfect guys and jump in whenever there is an opening in between relationships? could be costly and time consuming though...
Re: Sorry! What you want is unavailable...
Stray Cat wrote:But all of the good guys are taken! .
feel the same way
does this mean I'm already old?
Btw, Stray Cat, I think you just made the right decision.
you have my support and respect....
Stray,
Be very careful with your relationship with this guy, it could very easily change into something more, but then there could be alot of resentment & issues for both of you. If you are feeling this attraction for him, you're going to want to get closer, it's only natural. You might end up getting really hurt in the long run. Step back a little and try to look elsewhere. Have you tried good places to meet new guys? Bars and clubs suck when you're trying to find someone special. Have you tried church or some type of class. My friend found a great guy when she went to her local Home Depot do it yourself class. Look around your area and try to figure out where guys hang out.
I am married to a great guy who was kind of a "nerd" when he was younger, heck he is still kind of a nerd but so am I.
He has a theory about this that I may agree with. He says that not many girls wanted/would go out with him before I did, they would all say that he was "too nice". He said so many of these women wanted a bad boy that they could change/mold but that never works, which left him lonely and confused. Now that he is married he gets hit on all the time. It is as if now that someone else has him he is now desirable to all those women wanting a bad boy and now wondering where all the good guys went, maybe it is his newfound confidence, maybe it is that now that he is taken shown that he is not afraid of commitment he is now attractive to women looking for commitment. He says the good guys were too boring for those gals before and now they want to settle down but and some smart girl has already snagged them all up. The moral of the story, sometimes you need to go for the diamond in the rough, you just may be surprised at how wonderful they are.
I'll admit I don't get it... you put your foot in a cowboy boot, you fill it with water and slog around until it is dry? What is that, ten hours?
My foot would be in advanced skin dysfunction by the time it got dry... and then I wouldn't be able to get it out, much less back in again.
I liked the metaphor, particularly given stray cat's shoe analogy.
Yes, and I agree re trouble finding good long lasting shoes and men.
Osso observed:
Quote:Yes, and I agree re trouble finding good long lasting shoes and men.
Add peppergrinders to the list.
Stumble It!
Tweet This
Bookmark on Delicious
Share on Facebook
Share on MySpace