Sun 7 Jul, 2024 01:33 pm
I think about my interactions with people every day. It's the number one thing that haunts and controls me more than anything else! I wish, wish, wish I could be "normal" and somebody people would like. The worst part about being an incedibly and actively hated person is that there are so many people I like and would like to be friends with and it shatters my dreams when they hate me!
For some reason, everyone thinks I'm funny. I could just be sitting there, minding my own business and anyone who is in the immediate area and is staring at me will start laughing and smiling at me. It's not in a laugging with type of way, I can tell it's them mocking me.
Every time I leave the room, I can hear them loudly bursting out into laughter. I get called a loser a lot! I'm pretty sure this has nothing to do with being an alcoholic or having a bad attitude either. I have none of those traits. Those are just examples. It feels like I'm in highschool again getting roasted by the popular kids, only I'm 25 and the popular kids are every stranger I meet and I guess I'm still the outcast.
I've hae nothing , byt bad things said about me. "She's a freak!", "She's retarded!", "What a loser?", "I hate her!", "I don't like her!" No matter what I do, people always make fun of me. Sometimes they do it like 6 inches away from me.
Honestly, I'm sick of people! They are nothing, but rude, careless a holes! I have my own problems to deal with! I have NO IDEA how to stop thinking about this every day, It consumes my mind! I guess I'm just not likeable! I want to be, but I'm just si quiet and I never wear a smile because of my lack of trust in people and depression.
My own family has called me those awful names! I wish I could move far away and live in isolation tbh.
Sorry everyone. I had to vent.
Sometimes I find it hard to watch tv or anything because there's people in it. It makes me blue because I see their lives and their friends and wish I had connections like that.
Have you considered therapy? Could you be on the autistic spectrum? I think that only a professional can help you.
@edgarblythe,
I'm going to get an evaluation soon. Therapy sounds like a good idea.
@edgarblythe,
That may be the best option! I've vented so many times it's ridiculous and I'm sick of that too.
@edgarblythe,
I'm sorry. I don't know how to use this, I accidentally downvoted you.
@CandleCutter77,
seeing as how you're so sick of people, i have my doubts that it was accidental...
@Region Philbis,
SERIOUSLY?! I've written posts like this before and there always has to be someone like you who try to make me seem like a terrible person! I wouldn't admit it if It wasn't accidental. 🙄
@CandleCutter77,
Downvoting someone doesn't make anyone a terrible person. It's an expression of agreement or non-agreement. Disagreeing with someone doesn't many anyone terrible. You are overreacting and maybe that's what you do every day, all day long.
Therapy is a great idea and you don't have to stay with one if you two don't click. I wish you all the best and hope you get rid of your torment.
@Mame,
You're right, I probably am overreacting.
Thank you for your input and well wishes.
@CandleCutter77,
i see i wrongly assumed that the winkie-face would convey sarcasm...
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