Did she cheat?

A few years back I was dating a girl I had a crush on for the longest time. We always could count on each other, even when I was let go from my job during Covid. I would help around the house while she worked and help as much as I could with the bills using my unemployment money.

I finally got a job in an office that was a few cities away. It worked out for us because we always wanted to move from the place we were staying at the time.

It was stressful on us because she had to quit her job and I was living from hotel room to hotel room. I ended up working double shifts so I can put money down on a new apartment along with monthly bills (Including food). We started to take our stress out on each other until she finally got another job.

Meanwhile, I started getting close with one of my coworkers and even started to hang out with him after work. He was a hard worker like I was and we both worked every day of the week. The money was good and I was able to payoff some bills but my gf started to become distant. We weren’t very physical with each other and she began to focus more on her hobbies.

Since I spent a lot of time with my coworker after work, I decided to start bringing my gf when we hung out. I wanted her to feel that she was still important in my life and wanted her to be sociable rather than being alone at home.

They got along and she even offered to baby sit his pets while we were at work. I was happy she got a long with my new friend and excited that I have a friend I can hangout with in the new city we were in.

A month goes by and we all decide to go out to a bar with billiards and bowling. This is when I started to notice something.

At first we were all goofing around at pool and took turns at the table. I went first and my gf was to play whoever won. My friend beat me and it was their turn to play. It was normal at first until she became giggly and flirty with him while he flirted back. I felt like the third wheel and it was a date for those two.

After their game, I tried to ignore what was going on and suggested we went bowling. We got a lane and put our names in along with drinks. After a few roles, she hits a spare and runs to him for a giggly double hand high five. He sits next to me afterwards and she was about to sit on his lap before she saw I was looking at her. She tries to play it off and sits on my lap instead while asking if I saw her spare.

After our night out we go home and I felt really uncomfortable. Trying to shake off the insecurities I have from past relationships and trying to give her the benefit of the doubt.

A couple weeks go by and she starts to hide the face of her phone. We trusted our phones out around each other, even answered each others phone sometimes if our parents or siblings called. Now, she was incredibly guarded and would rarely be separated from her phone. It really hit me when I caught her hiding and giggling in the bathroom. I asked her why she was laughing and instantly got defensive.

(Neon Red Flag)

That night I devised a devious plan that, too this day, am still not proud of. I was to wait until she fell asleep and go through her phone. I know, I know. Before I get roundhouse kicked by the rhetoric of Reddit, I’m not proud of this. It’s not a norm for me and I loved her so much that I wanted to trust her at face value. I really wanted to put my insecurities to bed, and prove myself wrong that she would cheat on me.

Night came around and she wanted to get as much sleep as she could. She popped a melatonin pill and out she went. I knew if I were to find out she was cheating on me, this was it. I grabbed her phone off her night stand while she was snoring away. First was texts, nothing out of the ordinary. Then Snapchat, nothing abnormal. I sighed in relief until an Instagram notification came up.

I fought the urges but gave in and snooped. My friend was at the very top of the list and the last message showed a winky face. I went through their messages and found out they have been talking behind my back for months. My heart began to beat harder and I can feel my face starting to get warm from increased blood pressure. Finally I find a message between them that said from her, “Did you enjoy your workout?” “It was great. I bet your feeling good.” “I did, I’ll definitely have good dreams.” More flirting pursued afterwards and I couldn’t take it anymore.

I turned on the light tossed the phone at her and confronted her. She cried and told me nothing happened and the workout that was referred to was when she went to the gym that night. She rarely went to the gym which made it look even more suspicious.

After that I left my job, stopped talking to my friend and a couple years later my gf and I broke up before she moved back with her parents. I never got closure if they slept together but to this day I believe they did.

What are your thoughts?