Saff, I don't know if you're gay or not but the evidence certainly points that way.
And I think Montanas statement that she's pretty good with the head too says a lot. You seem to exhibit classic symptoms of professional jealousy.
For some reason this joke comes to mind.
Little boy in middle school comes home and announces to his family at dinner that he got laid today after school. The mother freaks out and the dad takes him upstairs where in private he throws his arm around him and gives him the attaboy.
Next day at home his dad call him aside and asks him if he got laid today as well, to which the young boy replies "Oh no dad, my ass is way to sore from yesterday"
Now what that has to do with you Saff, I have no idea, but it is a cute joke and I always like to share them with my friends.