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Is this a form of cheating?

 
 
Fri 26 Aug, 2022 11:04 am
Thank you for reading my comment, any advice will be helpful. My wife and I have been married for 13 years. The love I share for my wife is indescribable and I would do absolutely anything for her.

However, I recently became aware of what is to me some inappropriate texts between my wife and female colleagues of hers. They are also friends outside of work as well. These texts are about other male colleagues that they work with. My wife and her friends will talk about the penis size of other males and in particular my wife, in the text describes the outline and size of a specific male colleague. Almost like she is proud to look at it and see it.

In the same text conversation my wife will ask her friend if she would have sex with certain male colleagues and proceeds to tell her friend about a male colleague that she wouldn’t because “he’s too skinny”. When I confronted her about these texts she is adamant that it means nothing and that it’s just “girl talk” and that she would never cheat on me.

Now I understand this doesn’t sound like much, however this is not the first time my wife has had these types of exchanges with her friends about other male colleagues and boyfriends of her friends.

I am trying to forget/forgive and I want to believe she will not cheat but it’s just when you add up all the pieces together with the last few months of constant berating and death wishes and being told to get out and that our kids hate/dislike me, then the continual lying about how she doesn’t look at guys or think about guys in that sort of way and you add that up with her never wanting to have any kind of sex with ME, and the fact that this is absolutely NOT the first time she has “girl talked” about other guys like this (I just let it go and never said anything).

So, if I wouldn’t have called her out this time she absolutely without a doubt would have/still continually had/have “girl talks” about other guys dicks and having sex with other guys.

Now my question is, does this fall under “Text cheating”, “Micro cheating” “Emotional cheating” or none at all?

Thank you for your help as my mind is almost fried and my heart is hurting from sleepless nights and constantly thinking about these text exchanges.
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Mame
 
  2  
Fri 26 Aug, 2022 03:07 pm
@Landshark,
I don't know if it's any form of cheating, per se, but I do find it extremely juvenile and disrespectful to their male colleagues.

It's also NOT 'normal girl talk' as I have never had those conversations with any female in all my years on the planet and I'm presuming my female friends and family haven't either.

I can't imagine that ever being a topic of discussion, including by anyone on this forum.
Landshark
 
  1  
Fri 26 Aug, 2022 03:15 pm
@Mame,
Thank you for your reply and I appreciate your advice. Please enjoy the rest of your day.
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Jurassicore1996
 
  1  
Wed 21 Sep, 2022 12:20 pm
@Landshark,
While I don't personally see that as cheating, it is suspicious behavior and disrespectful to you as her husband. While normally I would say to speak with her about this and express how uncomfortable it makes you feel - I think the death threats and general mistreatment and verbal abuse of you is much more concerning than the idea of her cheating. She obviously doesn't respect you as she should her husband (which is her issue, not a fault of your own) and while I can't tell you what to do with your life, I would not suggest staying with her if you can afford it. More than a cheater, she sounds very abusive and I can't imagine that's a good environment for your children either. I wish you the best of luck and happiness in your life.
Jurassicore1996
 
  1  
Wed 21 Sep, 2022 12:29 pm
@Jurassicore1996,
I do just also want to say that, as a married woman myself, I cannot even imagine wanting to have conversations like that with friends and especially not with coworkers. That seems very creepy to me and honestly disrespectful to the male coworkers she was speaking of as well. That is not normal behavior for a woman and I would honestly run if I were you.
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