Sun 3 Jul, 2022 04:22 pm
So I started at my job around 6 months ago, and since then I've gotten along with everyone pretty well, and we're quite close. A male coworker, who I'm friendly with but wouldn't go as far to say we're close, often notices new pieces of clothing I wear. Even when others don't.
I got a new pair of shoes and he commented on them, again, no one else noticed that day. I sorted my closet and found a light coat I haven't worn in a long time, perfect for summer showers, and when I wore it he asked was it new I explained yes, technically new to others but not to me and just laughed it off. Again, no one else commented. And when I got a new pair of jeans it was the first thing new noticed which threw me off, and he said he liked them.
I have female coworkers who I'm very close friends with who have gone the whole day without noticing these things, or I'd have to say "oh, I got new jeans" and then they'd comment, so for him to repeatedly notice these things, unprompted, could it mean anything?
To start, I've noticed textbook signs, I've looked his way and noticed he was looking at me, and he quickly looks away. However, lately when this has happened he's held my gaze and he does this "gentleman's nod" with me, we go back and forth a few times (jokingly) and then he asks how I am. He doesn't do this with anyone else, that I've noticed anyway.
Every morning when I get into work he says "good morning, First name Last name", someone noticed this and asked why, he just said "I can't say her first name without saying her last name too".
One day when I went into the office he pulled his chair up beside me with his arms behind his back, and gave me a kids toy him and his friends won, but he knew I liked the character and so he kept it all weekend to give to me.
Then there's other things, for a while we had a back and forth as something wound up on my desk that I didn't want there so I gave it to him and he kept finding ways to put it back on my desk, but not be obvious. If he talks to a coworker I sit beside, his feet and torso are entirely in my direction even when I'm not in the conversation. When I speak to him he leans in more.
Am I reading into this too much? Any advice?
Bad idea to date co-workers. Don't sh*t where you eat as the saying goes.
To answer your question, yes , he certainly seems to be making moves to get to know you better or to get your attention.
Now you need to decide if you are going to move this forward because it’s not a good idea to get involved with people at work.
When somebody is quite fond of you they give you their undivided attention.
That is when you know somebody "wants" you. If you feel the same way about them you should say
"Hey their co-worker, we been working together for awhile and I would like to know how you truly feel and see me. Be honest, go all out, and right or wrong I will not hold it against you"
A. If they are %100 honest then go into the shower or storage room I guess.
B. If they are holding back then you could tell them how you feel, and or give them a rebuttal and being honest or you could give them the same sensitivity training commercial they gave you.
That is a safe way to get an honest answer.