Dead Faith

Aaargh!

So, I've been struggling with this and it just doesn't work.

So I've been talking to someone online, and he's a Jew and I'm a Christian. Ultimately, the sticking point is not whether or not Jesus died foe our sins, but the idea of personal relationship with God.

The more I look into Judaism the more I see stuff like this:
https://coffeeshoprabbi.com/2015/04/19/kissing-the-torah-idolatry/
And this:
https://www.chabad.org/library/article_cdo/aid/830339/jewish/Why-fast-after-dropping-a-Torah-scroll-or-tefillin.htm

Fasting when a scroll is dropped? Kissing a scroll? Crowning a scroll and adorning it with silver? What is wrong with you?!?

And more of the commentors on the first link not only think there is nothing wrong with being passionate towards a sheet of paper but there are female posters talking about how the women are not able to go up personally and kiss it because they are too far back (so basically your synagogue made you a second-class citizen) so they do air kisses to it.

You should kiss loved ones. You should worship God. Not the Temple. Not the scroll of Law (now that the Temple is gone). Not the lantern-thingy in the synagogue. Nor the walls nor the robes of the priests. Just because an image is not necessarily graven doesn't mean it is not an idol.

The story of the Grinch should be foremost in your mind. If I stole all the crap in your synagogue (and then burned the place itself down) from the mountain, I should still hear you praying and singing.

But this isn't even the most upsetting part. It's the seeming utter lack of passion. Or to be sure, they are very traditional, and very stubborn about traditions. I suggest maybe the text should be changed, and they basically take a literalist approach (dude, it's my Bible not your Torah, what the hell do you care?) to things. But I have told them that Moses, Jacob, Isaac, Abraham, and Noah... all of these fathers had a personal relationship with God. Each had a very tailor-made set of events that showed them God is real and alive. And they all like, "No thanks, the Law is the only thing that matters." But it isn't! The law came from these people, they took laws, doing what they felt was right and kept them. And slowly these laws supplanted worship of God to the point where now the Law itself is kissed and given a crown. Ezekiel stands in a valley of dry bones and asks "Lord can these bones live?" Now, I'm not so sure. They appear to be intent on being dead.

How do I fix this relationship that this man (I assume) has with his God? And without screwing up the relationship he(?) has with me, of course.