Because they have their minions do it for them.
Why do elephants never forget?
Have you seen how big they are? Now imagine the size of their brains.
Why are some alarm clocks pleasing to the ear?
They figure they won't get hit as hard.
Is No. 2 pencil lead better or worse than No. 1 lead?
Nope its better...go figure huh?
Why are cuban cigars illegal?
The US government is afraid it is a communist plot to kill us with lung cancer.
Why is it that we say only "a penny for your thoughts", but insist on putting in our "TWO cents worth?"
Because generosity is always a given when givin' advice.
Why do toenails grow so tough as we age?
Because you can't see your feet anymore so they need extra protection from stubbing.
Why don't we put the "Saint" back in Valentine's Day?
I dont think that the saints would approve of what most couples do on that day.
Hows the DO?
Spectacular.
Why do fools fall in love?
If they didn't breed we'd run out.
Why 64 squares on a chessboard?
They took a vote, and that was the consensus.
Why doesn't basketball have 3 periods like hockey?
Because the basketballers would get tired.
Does Spring Water really have springs in it?
Yes, it needs the season-ing to be effective.
Can butter fly?
As long as noses can run and feet can smell
Why don't they use pictures of real hearts in valentine cards - why is that weird symbol they use called 'heart-shaped'?
For the same reason they don't show a real rabbit on Easter, they don't have a chocolate center.
Why does the standard count to do something is up to 3?
<consults holy book of armaments.>
And the Lord spake, saying, "First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it.
wheres wally?
BEHIND YOU!
How can someone be 'off their face' or 'out of their gourd'?
Dunno 'bout off their face, but only Cinderella actually ever got out of a gourd.
If there's life on other planets, are they laughing at us?
They're too busy laughing at themselves
Why doesn't the word Poopooyaka exist?
Every word that could ever be invented has been has been copyrighted, and is currently being stored in a vault on the planet Poilziluberion.
If salt is the opposite of sugar, what's the opposite of pepper?
