Only if you tie one end to a dong.
If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
The answer depends largely on whether the person has the present ability to carry out the threats.
Why would one "bang a gong"?
To make a noise. Simple.
Why a living planet like Earth has only one moon and a non living planet like Saturn has 33?
Because moons destroy life, of course.
What time is dinner time?
Depends on where you live and what's for dinner.
Why do hamburger buns come in 12s but frozen burgers come in 8's?
They cater for we fools who put four buns under the griller to toast and then go and answer the phone.
How come they called him "The Lone Ranger" when Tonto was always with him?
I think they just spelled it wrong - it was supposed to be Loan Ranger because he was always bailing Tonto out...
How come none of the 'boys' on Bonanza ever had a date?
I think all the local girls were well aware that if you went with a Cartwright you were certain to catch cholera, Indian arrows or be murdered by your jealous ex-boyfriend, all within the next 60 minutes.
Don't they say "the family that plays together stays together?"
They may do, but I think there was something 'funny' going on, if you know what I mean...
Do you think it was the way they smelled, or were they just in love with their horses?
I think they smelled because they were in love with their horses.
Can any other toy compete with the "Slinky" for the title "best toy of the 20th Century"?
I'm sure lots of other toys kept a child's interest longer... why it was 'best toy' is beyond me.
Were you ever able to master the yoyo?
No, I got quite turned off by all the smart-alecks 'walking the dog' ad nauseum.
Were you adept at solving the Rubik's cube?
No I think it soved me.
Why cant we ever find dreams in a dream catcher?
Not enough glue.
What does a "snare drum" catch?
unchained melodies
Did they ever find out who DID shoot the deputy?
I shot the sheriff but I did not shoot the deputy.
Why do people lie?
Because they're afraid of the truth.
Why don't people tell others when they have bad breath or something stuck in their teeth?
I do
Why isnt Q and U next to eachother on a keyboard?
I don't know, but it bugs the heck out of me that Z and X are!
Has anyone invented a keyless entry sytem to a house?
Of course they have, a voice controlled locking mechanism.
Your goosed if you have laryngitis though.
Why I wonder do women complicate life?
