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Thu 29 Jul, 2021 10:59 am
I was looking at a blog today and came across a question where a woman was concerned that her husband has a code or password on his phone. I don't find it strange to have your phone locked for security reasons. My wife and I have been together some 20 years and we both have our own phones. Not once have I ever asked her to use her phone or could I just look at it. And neither has she. I feel there is a level of privacy that each person should be allowed even in a marriage. Those who responded to the blog said that maybe she wanted to play a song he has on his phone or she just wanted to play a gam he has on there. Ok, those excuses sound very weak to me. You want to play a song. Every phone has You Tube on it or at least some sort of music streaming service so you just wanting to play a song on his phone would raise suspicion with me. Or, maybe she just wanted to play a game on his phone. Again, a weak argument. Download the gam on your phone if you really wanted to play it. The reason I have a passcode on my phone is because I have a lot of financial info on my phone. My banking app, my Samsung Pay, my Amazon app with my banking info saved on it. Ebay, etc. And a lot of those accounts are saved with my biometric fingerprint to access them. If I was to remove my passcode then all that biometric info would be erased. It's a safety feature of my phone. Again, others even said "maybe she just wanted to make a call on his phone." Is there something wrong with your phone to where you couldn't make a call? My wife's phone could be sitting next to me and it starts ringing. I'll either take her phone to her or yell to her that she's getting a call. We don't answer each others phones.
If your partner just asked to see or use your phone would you just hand it over? Setting aside the argument, "sure because I've got nothing to hide", would you not ask "why?" And would you let them?
We don't mess with each other's phones in my home and I am fine with that. We all need a private place in our lives. Phones are part of it.
Ditto for me. My husband wants me to answer his phone if he's not near it but I answer enough on my own so I don't.
I think this is a case of what works for you as a couple is what matters. We do each have our own phone - I know my husband's password and he knows mine - probably more because we use these passwords or some variation of them for various things.
I too have a fingerprint password but also a number one - the funny thing when I first set up my phone - my daughter has put her fingerprint on it when she helped me.
We do look at each others phone - not to check up but to "help" each other - for example say I am cooking and my phone dings - I will have him check especially if say I am waiting to hear back from someone - or might expect an update from a kid. Or if my husband is driving and he wants me to read him a text or email.
Or if I have something on my personal email on my phone that may be of interest to him I may direct him to read it or if I have pictures on it - any many number of reasons.
It just works for us.
I compare it to the older days where a woman would have a purse - some never wanted anyone every go into it. Not that they were hiding anything it was just their purse - I remember my mom always saying go get my purse either for us kids or my das (if there was something in it we might want - a tissue, some change, a mint) we would never just go into it and pull something out.
Some people feel that way about their phones.
@Barry2021,
Sure, I'd let her use my phone. We use a joint password manager so she has all of my passwords and I have hers. We set that up after her father passed and we saw how much trouble my MIL had not knowing all the various account names and passwords. Funny story (in retrospect), my wife was in China on a work project and her phone was stolen. I was able to walk into the local phone store, buy her a phone, log in as her, download and setup all her apps and had the phone out to her the next day via a team member who was heading over.
I just don't see the point in "let me see your phone." Again I'm going to ask why, is there something wrong with yours? That's why we pay insurance on them. Take it to Sprint and do a claim so they can either fix it or replace it. I have no desire to just look through her phone because I'm going to see something innocent and make it into something major. My wife hardly has music on her phone and she's really not into the stuff I listen to so here wanting to hear a song on my phone is pointless. She doesn't play games so that's out. If she were to ever ask me I'm be suspicious of her. Yes, even married couples need some level of privacy. We do not share passwords to email accounts nor bank accounts. She has her personal account and I have mine. But we also have a joint account which is accessible on both phones but there's no reason for her to ask can she use my phone to access our joint account.
@Barry2021,
Barry2021 wrote:
I just don't see the point in "let me see your phone." Again I'm going to ask why, is there something wrong with yours? That's why we pay insurance on them. Take it to Sprint and do a claim so they can either fix it or replace it. I have no desire to just look through her phone because I'm going to see something innocent and make it into something major. My wife hardly has music on her phone and she's really not into the stuff I listen to so here wanting to hear a song on my phone is pointless. She doesn't play games so that's out. If she were to ever ask me I'm be suspicious of her. Yes, even married couples need some level of privacy. We do not share passwords to email accounts nor bank accounts. She has her personal account and I have mine. But we also have a joint account which is accessible on both phones but there's no reason for her to ask can she use my phone to access our joint account.
Then that works for you and your wife. No issue.
Reading into what some random person states on a blog is just that - making a guess and perhaps something that seems odd or "wrong" to you may work for someone else.
Just asking on here - you got several different responses from I don't like my spouse looking at my phone to ones like myself kind where it really doesn't matter - to another where having passwords and all other information makes actual sense if the worst would be to happen. We all have different perspectives and if they work for you and something different works for someone else - so be it.
I would let a boyfriend use my phone. However, if he ever tried to search my phone it would end the relationship.
We both have the same goes off phones. There are times one will all the other to answer it because at the moment I can't get to it, he's in the bathroom, etc. There aren't any second between us. Maybe that sounds strange to many of you.
@Barry2021,
I am using my late husband as an example: Yes. Why would I not? There was nothing on my phone that required hiding.
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