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Am I being Stupid? Wedding Ring?

 
 
Reply Mon 1 Feb, 2016 12:49 am
So, I previously posted about John, his wife had been gone for a littke over a year when he tried to start a relationship and it failed. I decided to just be his friend and then we got drunk one night and we just kind of turned into friends that slept together. Which was fine for both of us, then he started mentioning feelings and missing me when we were apart. I was a bit shocked because I had pretty much summed us up to friends with benefits that hung out but it slowly became more. The whole time he wore his wedding ring which was fine with me, he said he wore it because it felt weird to not wear it, I get it and told him I would probably never want to take mine off.

Months later - The last two times we hung out for the weekend, he wasn't wearing it, so I was a bit shocked and was stupid and naive enough to think maybe it had finally come off and was placed somewhere special, I would never expect him to get rid of it. I thought this was a big milestone or something stupid. Then he sends me a picture tonight from where he is at home and I see it on his finger again. It has never bothered me before but for some reason now it does. Like he's trying to put up some sort of front with me? Like why not just wear it if he still wants to? He has our whole relationship and I haven't said a word or made so much as a comment. Why take it off when he's around me and then wear it when he goes home? I don't know, this has just left me feeling oddly uncomfortable.

I was just hoping for some sort of insight or advice? This has really bothered me and I'm not even sure why. I guess it just feels like he's hiding something now and he never has before. It's just shaken me a bit. Any insight would be so appreciated.
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PUNKEY
 
  1  
Reply Mon 1 Feb, 2016 09:49 am
@JaimeLynn,
He probably is taking it off or putting it on, depending on where he is and who is around.

Do you have a relationship other than sex?

ehBeth
 
  1  
Reply Mon 1 Feb, 2016 09:58 am
@JaimeLynn,
JaimeLynn wrote:
I thought this was a big milestone

Like why not just wear it if he still wants to?

Why take it off when he's around me and then wear it when he goes home?


here's the thing

if you can't talk about this, there's not much of a relationship

it seems that you both need to work on communicating what you're thinking and feeling

take a risk and say something
engineer
 
  1  
Reply Mon 1 Feb, 2016 10:03 am
@ehBeth,
What ehBeth said and also, it wasn't an accident that he wasn't wearing it. He probably did do it just for you, but it also probably felt weird and he reverted at home, or maybe in front of friends. Forget the ring and have a direct conversation about where you are and where you see yourselves going. The ring is the symptom, not the cause. From your earlier post there are also children involved her, right?
JaimeLynn
 
  1  
Reply Mon 1 Feb, 2016 01:16 pm
@PUNKEY,
Yes, he asked to be my boyfriend and said he wanted us to be a in a relationship. So we are together now.
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JaimeLynn
 
  0  
Reply Mon 1 Feb, 2016 01:19 pm
@engineer,
Yes, he has two children. They're great kids and I really care for them. He says he really cares for me and I'm his best friend and partner. I believe that entirely because he acts like I'm the only one he sees when we're together.

I plan to mention it to him, I just didn't know if anyone might have an idea about why he would take it off and then put it back on. It makes me feel like he's trying to make me feel like I have nothing to worry about when I do.
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