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Fri 2 Jul, 2021 11:35 am
There is a woman I started dating and I think it's going really well and on the fifth date coming up now. Well I asked her if she was open to a relationship and she said in the future she may be, she just has a lot going on her life right now. I asked if she was seeing anyone else right now, and she said no, and I said well I don't feel like it either, and she said you can if you want, you do you.
But I got turned off when she said that, really turned off I think. Later on in the day, because she said you do you, I hooked up with another woman who wanted to but as we were in the process of hooking up I got turned on off and felt sick and regreted doing it and left. I just feel lousy now, like I cheated, even though she said we are not exclusive.
She said you do you, but was this a test and she didn't actually want me to see anyone else?
@harmonica,
You've had five dates, it's not like you're engaged. She said she's not ready for a relationship. Date as you want.
@harmonica,
harmonica wrote:
There is a woman I started dating and I think it's going really well and on the fifth date coming up now. Well I asked her if she was open to a relationship and she said in the future she may be, she just has a lot going on her life right now. I asked if she was seeing anyone else right now, and she said no, and I said well I don't feel like it either, and she said you can if you want, you do you.
But I got turned off when she said that, really turned off I think. Later on in the day, because she said you do you, I hooked up with another woman who wanted to but as we were in the process of hooking up I got turned on off and felt sick and regreted doing it and left. I just feel lousy now, like I cheated, even though she said we are not exclusive.
She said you do you, but was this a test and she didn't actually want me to see anyone else?
When she told you, "You do you" she was implying, "...and I will do me."
Smart woman.
That is the way things should work. If you cannot handle that...you are probably not ready for a relationship with someone like her.
@Frank Apisa,
Oh okay so in other words she just doesn't want to be exclusive then?
@harmonica,
harmonica wrote:
Oh okay so in other words she just doesn't want to be exclusive then?
You know who you should be asking?
One guess
@harmonica,
harmonica wrote:
Oh okay so in other words she just doesn't want to be exclusive then?
Sounds to me that way.
I'd ask her if I were you, but my guess is she might laugh at the question. How more clearly does she have to spell it out?
@Frank Apisa,
Okay, so I shouldn't feel bad or guilty about the other woman then.
@harmonica,
harmonica wrote:
Okay, so I shouldn't feel bad or guilty about the other woman then.
"Feeling guilty" is not normally a choice, Harmonica. Either you do...or you don't. There really is no right or wrong about it.
I'd recommend that you ease up on yourself on this. It is something that happened. It should be something that taught you a lesson...one way or the other.
Best to just let it pass...and feel good about yourself. If you can.
I hope you can.
Oh okay so I should just pursue the relationship and not feel guilty over it then?
@harmonica,
Maybe you should make your own decisions.
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