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husband is looking at Teen-porn

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This does not bode well for a good marriage.

First of all, there is no reason to believe, solely based on what images the poster's husband is viewing, that there is anything more to the story. Pheonix and JP's fears are unfounded... of course it is possible he is a pedophile, but then husbands without porn could be suspect as well.

In a marriage, partners need to accept each other for who they are. There needs to be trust and acceptance.

The "wife trying to change bad husband" plan is a cliche that never works.

A wife can not "keep a close watch on" the habits of her husband and constantly watch for red flags in the corner of her eye. That is not what a role that a wife can play, this will certainly lead to a failed marriage.

JP, how would you handle the "close watch" of a suspicious spouse?

Perhaps our poster should leave her husband if only because he has a habit that she can not tolerate, Perhaps they can work through this and come to a

She needs to make a decision. If she plans to save the marriage, and there is nothing illegal going on, she may just have to let it go.

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Quote:

We do not have a great sex life and we are currently seeing a therapist for other issues.

ebrown_p- It sounds like xx123xx has a lot more problems with her marriage than the kiddie porn sites.

ebrown_p wrote:

Pheonix and JP's fears are unfounded... of course it is possible he is a pedophile, ..............

How do you know it is unfounded? That is the problem. From what has been written, there IS no way of knowing for sure. The difficulty is, that if this guy does lust after little girls, whether virtually or in person, the ramifications for the both of them could be very, very serious. It is just not something that one overlooks, without investigating into the situation.

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Phoenix32890 wrote:

Quote:
We do not have a great sex life and we are currently seeing a therapist for other issues.

ebrown_p- It sounds like xx123xx has a lot more problems with her marriage than the kiddie porn sites.

I agree, with the exception of your use of the term "kiddie porn" which refers to something illegal and quite a bit different to what we have been talking about.

If we were talking about real "kiddie porn", I would agree with everything you are saying and suggest the poster leave the jerk right before calling the police.

Quote:

ebrown_p wrote:
Pheonix and JP's fears are unfounded... of course it is possible he is a pedophile, ..............

How do you know it is unfounded? That is the problem. From what has been written, there IS no way of knowing for sure. The difficulty is, that if this guy does lust after little girls, whether virtually or in person, the ramifications for the both of them could be very, very serious. It is just not something that one overlooks, without investigating into the situation.

It is unfounded because there has been no evidence presented that says that this guy is "lusting after little girls" or that the "ramifications ... could be serious".

There is no way of knowing that any of us isn't a pedophile. Most men who view this type of pornography (and I would guess that most guys have seen it even if not habitually) are no risk to anyone, and just becuase you don't see this stuff doesn't mean you aren't a risk.

But my point is that these suspicions are a big problem in a marriage. If the wife has them, she should confront and resolve them... but she had better resolve them quickly because a marriage with these types of suspicions won't last very long under any circumstances.

I am just trying to give the facts. The pornography the poster is talking about is not "kiddie porn" and it is prety standard. This is not an indication that the husband is doing anything accept indulging in a little sinful fantasy that millions of men indulge in with no "ramifications".

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Quote:

There is no way of knowing that any of us isn't a pedophile. Most men who view this type of pornography (and I would guess that most guys have seen it even if not habitually) are no risk to anyone, and just becuase you don't see this stuff doesn't mean you aren't a risk.

ebrown_p - I think that the operative word here is habitually. We have no idea as to whether this pastime is a casual thing, indulged in once in awhile, or a seriously compulsive behavior.

The other problem is the difficulty in their sex lives. We don't know if xx123xx's husband is not responding to her because of the other problems in the marriage, or because he prefers youngsters. That was why I suggested that she speak to the therapist alone.

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Given that the porn is not of real prepubescent girls, I change my tune about the seriousness.

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Try to bring some teenage stuff into your sexual life(sorry). For example sex plays:Be a student and let him be ur professor. Trust me, that always works. Maybe he has a fantasy to have sex with a younger girl, which is not a surprise, If he wants that try it. There is another solutions, make him Catch you, watching Some porn and make a comment like "Oh Those gys such a nice butts" and watch his reaction, and then if he will be made, tell him that u feel the same. :wink: Rolling Eyes

Rolling Eyes

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Teenage porn
I had the same thing happen. Only mine goes online every month for about 10 min. He looks at the legal teen photos and barely legal titles ONLY depicting 16 year olds with NO MAKEUP! Pig tails, younger girl leaning over their beds, doing homework, etc. This is basically all he looks at when he does it. He kept going back to her over and over from the home page of the site doing nothing special. It makes me wonder if he is attracted to women at all? I don't get a lot of action in the bedroom (he plays online games Camelot for six hrs after work everyday), and he touches me mostly after viewing these girls. This has nothing to do with it, but I look good, keep myself in shape, offer any bedroom time anywhere--NEVER said NO in the two years we have been married. What do I do when my daughter gets that age (not his), and her friends come to spend the night. I assume this is all he is attracted to??? Guys, am I wrong? Tawnee Stone is one.

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I think this question is loaded.
xxx123xxx is having some serious troubles with her marriage.
This sounds like just one symptom of a larger problem: a very questionable relationship to be in at all.
I don't have a clue how to help her with this: it obviously good she's in therapy , and her hudsband, and she needs to find out the severity of his habit. If it's sick (illegal, excessive) she needs to act on asap.

By the way:
Am I the only one who doesn't just brush off the watching of 'ripe n' ready' 18 year old porn viewing as normal?
Sure, a lot of guys do it, but it's still not healthy.
The occasional enjoyment of porn, of different varieties, can be harmless.
But ANYONE who only looks at teen and 18 porn, and does it a lot,
makes me go running for the hills!!
...like, you got issues buddy Cool

Cool

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Re: husband is looking at Teen-porn

xx123xx wrote:

I know the porn thing has been stated and re-stated...but not only is my husband looking at porn on the internet, but he is intentionally looking for web sites revealing teenage " looking" girls...."Ripe and Ready". Im not sure what to make of it and haven't been able to bring myself to talk about it with him. We do not have a great sex life and we are currently seeing a therapist for other issues. Listen-the girls that he views have little boobies, no pewbs. and braces for godsakes. Im really upset. What do I do?

i how ever do hope that its not that kiddie porn because if it is then you really do got problems.

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Has anyone ever really looked at porn sites in general?
Do you realize that 80% of them are titled TEENS, or barely legal? It isnt a type of porn most of the time, it is a catch phrase you can type into Google to guarantee a porn return.
Just because the site's name is TEEN PORN doesnt mean anything except that it is porn. It isnt geared twords the idea of young -illegal- children-.
Using the term teens or barely legal in your porn search guarantees TONS of hits.

kind of like.. if you were to want to search for example , COMIC books, you would most likely use the word Batman.. ??
See what I mean ?

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shewolfnm wrote:

Has anyone ever really looked at porn sites in general?
Do you realize that 80% of them are titled TEENS, or barely legal? It isnt a type of porn most of the time, it is a catch phrase you can type into Google to guarantee a porn return.
Just because the site's name is TEEN PORN doesnt mean anything except that it is porn. It isnt geared twords the idea of young -illegal- children-.
Using the term teens or barely legal in your porn search guarantees TONS of hits.

kind of like.. if you were to want to search for example , COMIC books, you would most likely use the word Batman.. ??
See what I mean ?

The law prohibits girls under the age of 18 to be in these sights and is highly enforced. also the magazines also.

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OK, I'm a little late into the discussion, but there is a ton of money to be made in presenting young women to men.
The market, as some have already mentioned, is enormous.
Just because women have no pubic hair, small breasts and braces doesn't mean they're 16. Just because the legal age in the US is 21, doesn't mean that 18 year olds from other countries aren't being photographed for these websites.

I have two things to speak to here:
I have an old University friend who took his degree and threw it out to become a porn recruiter here in Calgary. He actively seeks out women (who are of legal age) in nightclubs and other places for a webcam business of one of his aquaintences. He make $500 per recruit and they make $2000 + a percentage of the webcam profits for her "show".
The women he recruits are generally small framed, small breasted and usually between 22 and 30. He says that these are the girls who bring in the highest viewership--and after speaking with him they have modelled their models after a website called als scans. Young looking, small breasted and hairless--2 of the qualities are natural, the other created quite easily.

The second is similar to what was mentioned earlier in this thread and in another one titled am I a paedophile, and that is the distinction between fantasy and reality, thought and action.
Ask these questions about this situation from your perspective and your husbands
1. Does the fantasy lead to risky or dangerous behavior?
2. Does the fantasy feel out of control or compulsive?
3. Is the content of the fantasy disturbing or repulsive?
4. Does the fantasy hinder recovery or personal growth?
5. Does the fantasy lower my self-esteem or block self-acceptance?
6. Does the fantasy distance me from my real-life partner?
7. Does the fantasy harm my intimate partner or anyone else?
8. Does the fantasy cause sexual problems?
9. Does the fantasy really belong to someone else?
Source--perhaps a helpful site

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