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I just need to talk this out

 
 
Reply Fri 12 Mar, 2021 07:11 pm
I need to talk to adults that I don’t know to get some perspective on this. I have cultivated a pretty close relationship with a man I work with, particularly over the last year. We have similar interests/backgrounds/beliefs and laugh together about movies/comedians/memes. Our jobs are such that a couple times a week we are able to have over hour long discussions about topics that have nothing to do with actual work. We both know about each other’s past relationships, families, insecurities, etc. We are both personable people that have no problem keeping a conversation going. We don’t text outside of work but he will text me apologies if he has to run and do actual work and cut off a conversation during the day. And we do text every now and then during work hours about certain things. We will email once or twice a week something we think the other would find interesting or humorous. He has helped me with numerous tasks and small projects that have nothing to do with him or his job. He shows me photos of work he does on his hobbies on the weekends. I would be lying if I said I wasn’t physically attracted to him. He has made very small, innocuous comments that let me know he doesn’t find me *unattractive*.

We are both married. He has small kids and I have none. We talk about our families to each other. We don’t speak poorly of our spouses (no more than I would to anyone else in joking/self deprecating ways).

I have tried to emotionally distance myself, but I find myself thinking about him. And I know that’s a warning sign, but I don’t want to make something of nothing. Has anyone else been in this situation? Am I making a mountain out of a molehill?
 
jespah
 
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Reply Fri 12 Mar, 2021 07:21 pm
@Laurayoung919,
I think you've got a work husband.

And it's probably fine.

The surest way to not do anything untoward is to tell your husband about your work buddy and, assuming Covid permits, the four of you - the two couples, that is - go out for cocktails some evening.
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