Dont indulge in "lieux communs"...
There doesn't have to be a commitment when you
tell another person you love them. Commitment meaning
marriage here, the commitment to be with that person
will be there anyway.
hahaha ehbeth, that was funny
i also don't believe that love has to equal marriage. i think it takes a lot more than love to make the marriage the work. maybe that is why we have such a high divorce rate. because people throw the word love around so much, and then think because they are in love they should get married...
i shoulda been a shrink...
...or being raised in Europe
Ah, but saying it starts you down that slippery slope.
so my neighbours have expectations?
nahhhhhhhh - telling people you love 'em is simply that <to my ear>
no implied or expressed commitment
I think, no, I know, there are different KINDS of love than romantic love, no?
I'm an older and rather loving woman. I have had many romantic experiences, some excruciating debacles, fond memories, and one marriage. But there's still time...
Anyway, I've seen changes, or perceived changes.
I was raised rather as George was, from what I have read, and understand his terms. I 'lost my virginity' - now an archaic phrase - at 21, but damn it was good. Love certainly equaled commitment in our minds those months. That was, lemme see, in 1963. He was and still is a neat person and said I love you and I think, even now, meant it. I said it back, as if speaking in Urdu. Unfortunately, I was then Catholic and he was an atheist. (Don't get me started.) Still, I know he married the woman he dated after me and has been married to her 40 years. He was the commitment type but shied away from me, and not without angst (we broke up over this the day of the JFK assassination, and got back together the Monday after). His mother, an interesting woman, kept railing at him about his folly. (It's more complicated, but essentially true.)
And then unfolded, gradually over the next number of years, the era of free love.
I did go there, for a short time after a certain heartbreak and then stopped. But before and after that freeforall bit, I had various more average relationships. Fear of commitment was a big phrase then, among myself and my girlfriends - not that we in particular were so afraid, but the men were going on about it.
In the mid seventies, things seemed to turn and lots of us got married for all of our different reasons. I loved my husband and he, me, but my sense of the words in that situation meant through thick and thin. In time, his love, er, dissipated (don't get me started, part II).
Now I'm older and out of the fray. I am not sorry for any of my experiences, they make me a tree. And now I say I love you easily, to people in general, and expect nothing; am much more open to hearing others' stories, have a rounder view than I did once upon a time.
My ex and I didn't say I love you for almost a year.I said it first and he couldn't get the words out even though he felt the same,he was shy about it.Don't rush it.Let it happen as it goes.
Ossobuco--
Memories are duty-free baggage.
Yes, Noddy.
I look back on the late sixties and early seventies - when the fear of commitment seemed rampant - as a time when people didn't say I love you very readily because it might scare off the other person.
Now I think that's... silly, or at least being too careful. If people are frightened off, well, then, ok.
I like your outlook, osso. Life is too short not to say what you mean.
devriesj wrote:Life is too short not to say what you mean.
Life is to mean not to say it short :wink:
How apropos, Francis! You are quite good at the succinct!
The Pill is making enormous changes in all human biological relationships, but frequently a woman sleeping with a man--or a hundred men--is branded in her own mind as a slut unless love is professed.
WELL, with my experiences every female that i've dated for more than a week comes up with i love you and that to me is too soon for love and i don't trust any females that say that especially too soon, i want to just get away from her iam not too trusting. and i think its better if the other person says it first.,
Try girls over the age of 15, dude, you won't have that problem.
Gargamel wrote:Try girls over the age of 15, dude, you won't have that problem.
look silly i've dated from 18 to 65 blk white mex french, german, italian, polish, russian, dutch, belguim, english,puetrican, yugaslavish,indian, india, chinese, korean, cantonese,rumanian, and others name i cant pronounce and they all were the same. and older then 15. not under 18 thank you.
