saying the L-word!!!

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I have been seeing my boyfriend since February...and he still hasn't told me that he loves me! I'm going crazy because I want to say it so bad, but call me stubborn...I'm very traditional, and refuse to say it first. Also, he did tell me one time that he was falling in love w/ me, but in the heat of the moment in bed, and I got upset, and I think he regretts it. I think perhaps I scared him off from every saying I love you after that! When did your S.O. tell you that they loved you?

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He might not "love" you yet. 5 months isn't that long dear.

However, some people are afraid of being rejected and he might not say it because he is afraid. And if you want to hear it, say it. You are being ridiculous waiting for him to go first. That isn't traditional. It's silly.

I once told a boyfriend I loved him and told him right after that I told him if he wasn't ready to say it, I didn't want to hear it. And later, a few weeks after he told me. Do you really want him to say it just to hear it? Or do you want to wait and have him say it when he means it?

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I knew a guy once who, when his girl friend told him she loved him, said "thank you."

She was pissed he didn't say I love you back. But he didn't love her so he didn't say it... I think it was a very gracious response

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In this day and age courtships don't come with contracts.

Contracts develop from courtships.

Do you want to hear "I love you" as a sign that you haven't wasted five months or would a declaration of "I love you" move the relationship to another level?

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jpinMilwaukee wrote:

I knew a guy once who, when his girl friend told him she loved him, said "thank you."

She was pissed he didn't say I love you back. But he didn't love her so he didn't say it... I think it was a very gracious response

that's cold! and funny

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I agree with what others have posted. If you love him tell him, why in this day and age do we wait around for the men to do everything first.

I told my long time boyfriend of 4 years "I think I am falling in love with you" after 3 months of dating him and he responded with "I'm glad to hear that" and I was fine with that. About a month later he said "you know I love you right"

5 months is not that long of a time and really LOVING someone is more then just saying the words, nowadays it seems as that word is used to often, almost expected to hear.

My advice is to let it go for now - let things happen naturally, enjoy each others company, his feelings for you will come out when he is ready.

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People throw I love you around. I hate it. You feel like you can't say it enough when you really do love someone but you can take it's meaning away if you say it at the drop of a hat. How many people have you said "I love you" to, other than family and close friends?

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Bella Dea wrote:

People throw I love you around. I hate it. You feel like you can't say it enough when you really do love someone but you can take it's meaning away if you say it at the drop of a hat. How many people have you said "I love you" to, other than family and close friends?

the pooch gets to hear it at least three times a day Laughing

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dragon49 wrote:

Bella Dea wrote:
People throw I love you around. I hate it. You feel like you can't say it enough when you really do love someone but you can take it's meaning away if you say it at the drop of a hat. How many people have you said "I love you" to, other than family and close friends?

the pooch gets to hear it at least three times a day

Oh you silly, you...I meant people...animals don't count. Laughing

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And I didn't mean how many times a day do you say it to your hubby. "Drop of the hat" meant to dates, boyfriends, etc. People you meet and "fall in love" with.

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So Bella, how many people do you meet and "fall in love" with, besides your husband? Twisted Evil

Actually, every relationship is different. In some,
it can take forever to say "I love you", in others it comes
natural and almost immediately, because it feels right.

Nevertheless, I wouldn't be hung up on the words too much,
actions usually are worth a thousand words, so if he
shows me how much he loves me, it would be sufficient
for me (at least for quite a while).

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i actually think i had only said it one guy before my hubby (excluding family and truly close friends). i think i even had someone say it to me, i was like, well, isn't that nice...cold hearted, i know...

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CalamityJane wrote:

So Bella, how many people do you meet and "fall in love" with, besides your husband?

At least 2 a day.

http://www.clicksmilies.com/s0105/aetsch/cheeky-smiley-019.gif

I mean people who fall in love with everyone they date. I can't stand it. Mean to say? Maybe. But it really does bug me. Probably a reason the divorce rate is so high. Everyone thinks they are in love and get married. Then the lust dies away and they realize, "Hey, I DON'T love you anymore." Duh, you never did... THAT is what I mean.

Meanie....

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dragon49 wrote:

i actually think i had only said it one guy before my hubby (excluding family and truly close friends). i think i even had someone say it to me, i was like, well, isn't that nice...cold hearted, i know...

No it was honest. You weren't lying to them or yourself.

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True Bella, the marrying part I don't unterstand either.
Loving someone doesn't translate into marriage - at least
not for a long time. People do tend to get married to
early in their relationship, but that's another topic.

"I love you" should be said whenever we feel that we
love the other person, without hang-ups or other strings
attached.

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CalamityJane wrote:

..."I love you" should be said whenever we feel that we
love the other person, without hang-ups or other strings
attached.

When a guy contemplates "I love you,"
he sees nooses and chains for hang-ups and strings.

Scary, scary, scary!

Unless he's using the l-word as the key to the f-word,
he is going to be very reluctant. Very.

Until he really means it and is ready to accept what he believes are the consequences.

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Bella Dea wrote:

dragon49 wrote:
i actually think i had only said it one guy before my hubby (excluding family and truly close friends). i think i even had someone say it to me, i was like, well, isn't that nice...cold hearted, i know...

No it was honest. You weren't lying to them or yourself.

well i wouldn't say i was the most gracious about it. we had been on one date and he sent me a dozen roses the next with a card reading, i love you. now if we had had sex on the first date, i would say i was the bomb in bed, but nope, we didn't have sex. (i am the bomb in bed though...) Laughing

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After the first date...see, THAT is what I am talking about. Freak...

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George wrote:

When a guy contemplates "I love you,"
he sees nooses and chains for hang-ups and strings.

Scary, scary, scary!

Unless he's using the l-word as the key to the f-word,
he is going to be very reluctant. Very.

Until he really means it and is ready to accept what he believes are the consequences.

Is it truly that way George? Quiet sad to think that a man has
to hold back until he's ready to take on the consequences, which I guess
would be marriage, right?

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...or commitment, yeah.

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saying the L-word!!!

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