@Mame,
If they're not participating in drag shows, I have no problem with children attending. I have friends and relatives (one I am really close to) who are gay. I don't know any transgender people or gender. My sister always dressed slightly boyish (stylish) if she could have gotten away with it when younger, she does now and she looks nice. She is gay, we've been close all our lives. She never wanted to play with dolls unless she was setting the house up for our adventure people dolls or barbie dolls. Used to drive me crazy, about the time it was time to play, she would lose interest.
There is a funny story which kind of illustrates what you are talking about. There is only 13 months differences in our ages, so like I said, we were close. We didn't fight, but she took on a protective role over me. Anyway, my mom would make our clothes, she would make them just alike, me, I didn't really pay attention. But I found out years later it would really bother my sister.
Once, my mom made us long white dresses with lace around the collar. She put them on the line to dry and they froze solid. My sister said she was never so happy in her life when she saw those dresses stiff and frozen. So yes, I know what you are talking about. However, as far as I know, my sister is perfectly happy being identified as female, she just dresses more conservative preppy than I do.
I think the kids are way more tolerant than kids of the past generation, even just the previous one.
Perhaps I should think some about the gender/kids issue. However, I am personally ready to drop it of you all are. Thanks for the discussion. Interesting topic.