Do Long Distance Relationships Work?

Reply Fri 18 Sep, 2020 02:52 pm
Personally I really like this girl I met online, we message and video chat pretty frequently and I think she likes me back. I want to ask her out but my family doesn't approve. They think that long distance doesn't work and said if I asked her out it would be cruel because I would be depriving her of a normal relationship. I see things online about happy long distance relationships so I was hoping people who have been in them before could give some input.
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Reply Fri 18 Sep, 2020 03:25 pm
Yes long distance relationships work. There are plenty of exmples.

Whether it would work for this woman is a question that only she can answer. Talk about it honestly.

Long distance relationships work best if they are temporary..
it helps to know that you can be together some time in the future.
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Reply Fri 18 Sep, 2020 03:30 pm

There is a fundamental issue with relationships which are found and 'live' on the internet .... The basic being they are not physical reality, the people could be anyone, or anything ..... The tale of 'Talhotblond' is worth being acquainted with if people do not know it... If they are then they know what I am saying.

Then one has to ask what 'work' actually means? The fact of relationships is they are very like most sharks ... if the do not constantly move forward then they die. How does a non-physical long distance relationship practically move forward in any meaningful way?

Next .. Why does it appeal to you? There must be girls where you live but you'd apparently rather be with the one who is in reality unattainable in a physical sense. You have no profile, we've no idea how old you are which also has a bearing. As you are asking Mummy and Daddy we can assume (hopefully) you are a young teenager.

Doesn't really mean anything does it, though I would think it'd be better for you to find a girl in your locale ... because you may well get tired of masturbating on screen Embarrassed .... Laughing Cool

Reply Fri 18 Sep, 2020 03:57 pm
Actually I'm almost nineteen and she is twenty. Also I believe you are assuming me to be male, which I don't blame you for, however I'm actually a bisexual female and she is Pansexual. As for not liking local individuals is just because of emotional connection, I don't typically dwell on physical appearance, sure it is nice but I don't honestly care. It's the emotional connection that matters most to me, whether in a relationship or simply a friendship, as someone who suffers from rather crippling Anxiety and Depression, she the only person I feel comfortable approaching first when I'm having issues, I can't even do that with my parents. I'll be having a break down at two in the morning and she's immediately on the phone with me, video chatting and walking me through my situation. That isn't even one sided, I'm there for her in that way. I personally don't think a relationship has to move in physical stages as much as it does with emotional ones, but that might just be me being strange. Don't get me wrong, I completely understand where your message is coming from, I just wished to clarify my perspective.
Reply Fri 18 Sep, 2020 05:53 pm
Well, if you're in the US, you're an adult.

Doesn't matter if mommy and daddy approve.

Why would they even know about it? Not that you would hide it, but do you tell them every damn thing you do?

Reply Fri 18 Sep, 2020 06:19 pm
No, it doesn't matter if they approve, however I do go to them for advice. After all I mat be an "adult" at eighteen, however my parents are like in their fifties, they quite obviously have more life experience than I do, although, obviously I have to take into account that when they were college age students they didn't have social media or cell phones with unlimited data. However, there is the concern in my mind that they could be telling the truth about it being rather cruel to put someone in that type of relationship and that I shouldn't hope for a relationship to come out of my friendship with her. Mostly yes, I do tell them everything I do. I suppose not everyone has good communication with their parents, however I believe it's rather healthy to have honest communication with them.
Reply Fri 18 Sep, 2020 07:03 pm
You're not "putting" anyone into anything.

This is another adult who is able to make decisions on what she wants to do.

I didn't mean to indicate you shouldn't talk to your parents. However, this is something you need to discuss as length with your potential girlfriend, and rely on her feedback.

Of course a romance might not come out of a friendship. But wouldn't it be nice if it did.

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Reply Fri 18 Sep, 2020 08:05 pm
I personally don't think a relationship has to move in physical stages as much as it does with emotional ones

I am skeptical about this. A physical relationship is about getting a warm hug, or a touch when things are emotional or waking up next to someone. Physical affection is not just about sex. I have always considered it an important part of a relationship.

Hopefully you will get to spend time with this person physically together. People have great long distance relationships, but they do it by traveling to see each other as much as possible, and usually by planning to be together permanently sometime in the future.
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