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I Think I’m a Straight Woman, but Men Make Me Uncomfortable

 
 
Reply Mon 3 Aug, 2020 03:12 pm
I’ve always wanted a relationship, but boys just weren’t into me, and I was pretty insecure. But when a guy did say he was attracted to me I was immediately repulsed by him, and gave him the cold shoulder until he left me alone. I don’t feel comfortable when men compliment me, look at me, or talk to me, but sometimes I still want a relationship. I can never really trust what they say to me because it feels like it’s just to get me to sleep with them, and I hate the idea of a man perceiving me sexually. I just want to know what my behavior means, and how to fix it so I can get along with my life.
 
Ragman
 
  1  
Reply Mon 3 Aug, 2020 03:35 pm
@pinkofficepen,
Actually that sounds like a pretty healthy reaction. No need to fix what is not broken. Preference for same sex is NOT a broken state.

Sexuality and gender preferences are on a spectrum...not cut and dry. Try not to categorize yourself as gay, straight or other. Sounds as though you prefer not to be chased or have someone breathing down your neck. Aggressive people of either gender put people off - especially with those with little experience or self confidence.

You don't say how you feel as far as an attraction or experiences with women. How do you feel? Do you fantasize about women at all? Havre you had any crushes on either men or women?
pinkofficepen
 
  1  
Reply Mon 3 Aug, 2020 04:26 pm
@Ragman,
I feel a lot more comfortable around women, and all my friends are female. Still, I couldn’t say I know for sure that I’m attracted to them. I’ve never wanted to date a women in the way I’ve wanted to date a man, but I’ve operated under the assumption I’m heterosexual my whole life, so it’s not like I was looking. I feel like maybe I could be with a woman, but actually, the thought of being with one makes me nervous and a little uncomfortable too.
0 Replies
 
Ragman
 
  1  
Reply Mon 3 Aug, 2020 04:54 pm
@pinkofficepen,
There’s a possibility of your being asexual. There’s nothing wrong with that either. And, I’m not saying that you are. Does the thought of having sex gross you out or you off?
0 Replies
 
Ragman
 
  1  
Reply Mon 3 Aug, 2020 04:55 pm
@pinkofficepen,
There’s a possibility of your being asexual. There’s nothing wrong with that either. And, I’m not saying that you are. Does the thought of having sex gross you out or put you off?

Out of curiosity how old are you? If you don’t want to say, what age Range?
pinkofficepen
 
  1  
Reply Mon 3 Aug, 2020 05:41 pm
@Ragman,
I'm a college freshman. And sex- in theory- doesn’t put me off, but the idea of me actually participating in it with someone does.
0 Replies
 
maxdancona
 
  -1  
Reply Mon 3 Aug, 2020 05:42 pm
@pinkofficepen,
I am curious about what makes you nervous. It sounds like you have some sexual desire for men. Sexuality is about desire... and there should be nothing wrong with you wanting to have sex with someone. And there should be nothing wrong with a man wanting to have sex with you.

Of course it isn't quite that simple.... sexuality is more than sex. Relationships are important, and connection is important. But when I approach a I woman I am attracted to, I want a sexual relationship with her. We are adults... I have no problem being upfront and honest about that.

If no one wanted to have sex with anyone, then we would all be without sex. I happen to like sex.

Of course this has nothing to do with your sexual preference. But if you are going to enter a heterosexual relationship your partner is going to desire to have sex with you. If he doesn't, than there is real problem.
Teufel
 
  -1  
Reply Tue 4 Aug, 2020 05:10 am
@pinkofficepen,
The first obvious question is, what happened to you in your childhood. This is not a question to be answered publicly, but you should really examine your childhood for yourself ... Did something abusive happen? Did something that made you feel uncomfortable happen? Are you suppressing something that happened? Many people subjugate their negative experiences in childhood, suppress those memories or identify them as something else ... rather than face the reality. That is obviously deeply unhealthy for the individual.

After that as someone has suggested you may be asexual but I strongly doubt that; asexual people tend to be pretty unemotional and just do not care.

It seems to me you have an issue of either vast shyness/anxiety and subsequently a good dose of low self esteem leading to social ineptitude or there are issues in your childhood, not only from adults but were you for example bullied at school.

Whatever the case maybe, the internet is not a place that you'll find any answers ... Rather, you need to access professional counselling from a psychologist to isolate your issues. Then you can deal with them.

All good fortune to you.
mark noble
 
  -1  
Reply Sat 8 Aug, 2020 08:24 am
@pinkofficepen,
You seek 'companionship, but suspect the 'prospective' companion as a 'self-serving', Wanton sex-addict, who wishes for 'penetrative' purchase into your 'platonic' temples' inner sanctum...

My perspective - On your dilemma .... You 'WISH'.

Have a lovely Day
pinkofficepen
 
  2  
Reply Sat 8 Aug, 2020 01:35 pm
@mark noble,
what
pinkofficepen
 
  1  
Reply Sat 8 Aug, 2020 01:39 pm
@Teufel,
You know, I think this is the most helpful answer. I see what you’re saying, and I’m taking steps to get the help I know I need now. Thank you Smile!!
0 Replies
 
pinkofficepen
 
  1  
Reply Sat 8 Aug, 2020 01:40 pm
@maxdancona,
:/// this was unhelpful and a bit jarring
mark noble
 
  -2  
Reply Sat 8 Aug, 2020 01:51 pm
@pinkofficepen,
1. 'I Think I'm a 'Straight' Woman' = You have no clue, as to your 'Gender' Identity.
2. Nobody cares.
3. Have a Lovely day
4. Ice-cream is best served in Hot weather - To the anatomically ignorant.
5. ALL ends 'Well'.

6. 6. 6. (Typo) .......Have A lovely day
mark noble
 
  -1  
Reply Sat 8 Aug, 2020 01:55 pm
@mark noble,
Excuse my lovely truth - You needy, victim, narcissistic - THE WORLD OWES ME... EEK!!!! OMFG! .......

Babysit your own arse - Kiddy!

Have a Lovely day
0 Replies
 
pinkofficepen
 
  3  
Reply Sat 8 Aug, 2020 02:00 pm
@mark noble,
I mean, you cared enough to reply- not once, but twice. You took offense from a stranger’s issue on the Internet, and your first thought was to be nauseatingly pretentious and make assumptions on my gender identity which was never up for debate. Make your own post about whatever issues you got going on dude.
mark noble
 
  -1  
Reply Sat 8 Aug, 2020 02:08 pm
@pinkofficepen,
OMFG! How dare you insinuate my interpretation, in relation to yours - Is less worthy!!! You do know this site is monitored and that in 'UPSETTING' me - I Can Sue you - All posts are 'Monitored' and Archived...


See you in court.

How Dare you...


Have a Lovely day
0 Replies
 
izzythepush
 
  1  
Reply Sat 8 Aug, 2020 02:23 pm
@pinkofficepen,
Stick him on ignore, he’s off his head.

Honestly, arguing with him is pointless.
mark noble
 
  -1  
Reply Sat 8 Aug, 2020 02:35 pm
@izzythepush,
OMFG! How Dare you insinuate my point of view as being Pointless!
OMFG! This Site is both monitored and 'post-archived'...

See you In COURT -

OMFG!!!!!!!!!
Contacting BBC-, CBC - NOW!!!

IZZY - My offer of 'Help' remains open.

Mark...
izzythepush
 
  1  
Reply Sat 8 Aug, 2020 02:39 pm
@mark noble,
You’re the one who needs help matey boy.

Being an attention seeking twat isn’t going to make you many friends.

Most people consider you to be a joke.
0 Replies
 
chai2
 
  1  
Reply Sat 8 Aug, 2020 03:24 pm
@pinkofficepen,
pinkofficepen wrote:

I mean, you cared enough to reply- not once, but twice. You took offense from a stranger’s issue on the Internet, and your first thought was to be nauseatingly pretentious and make assumptions on my gender identity which was never up for debate. Make your own post about whatever issues you got going on dude.


Don't worry about Mark Noble pink.

As you can see by his last couple posts, there's something really off with him.

Anyway, to your post.

Ragman suggested you might consider you're asexual. You replied you're not against it in theory, but in practice it puts you of.

That's kinda the definition of asexuality.

Throughout your life, you're going to have many different takes on sex, and whether you want it, enjoy it, with whom, or not.

I don't think very many people feel the same about sex in their own life the same one decade to the next.

My thoughts are to not label yourself, and take life as it comes.
You're not unique in desiring companionship over the physical
0 Replies
 
 

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