was that too harsh?
No. You asked him not to and he did anyway. Shows he does not respect your wishes.
but how do I get to know him? I'm sure he lives faraway...
You can spend time texting online or whatever. But you cannot really get to know him without personal contact. Which means you either have to go to him or he has to go to you. Personally, I think the guy should come to you if he is interested. BUT, if he (or anyone else) travels to you to meet up, please do so only in a public place. Be smart about it.