In Love with a Married Man

the Women= brain dead twits
the Man=got his cake and eating it too! :wink:

all I can say is I hope the guy has a deep wallet! lol

Sounds like the man needs to be more considerate of his wife.

Three fools that have found each other. Only a matter of time before one of them figures out that three is a crowd.

Green Witch I commend you on your reply, very well put!
Im still laughing!

Scoats, yes, the Man should be more considerate of the WIfe. The Wife faithfully brought up kids. She looks forward to and deserves a peaceful retirement.

This situation has gone on for years. The Wife is a former scientist, the Married Man runs a company, the Other Woman is a vice president. Neither the Wife nor the Other Woman needs the Married Man for monetary support.

The Wife came from a well-to-do family. The Wife is "independent" and "practical." The Wife is not into love-making and is considerate and gentle.

The Other Woman makes more money than the Married Man. The Other Woman is "quietly assertive" and "romantic."

The Married Man is "dutiful" and avoids emotional issues. He spends most of time on his company rather than with either of the women. The Married Man is generally not sexually active and is only motivated by the Other Woman.

The Married Man does all of the housework when he is present - in both the house that the Wife lives in and the house that the Other Woman lives in.

Why do they do this? What does each of them want out of life?

What would you say to each of them individually?

..I would say exactly what Green Witch posted...

but seriously they should move to one of those countries that the men have more than 1 wife..or join one of those weird perverted cults.......then they can all convince themselves thats its the norm!

The whole situation is just plain blimmin 'odd'

That reminds me of an old italian movie with Marcello Mastroianni and Claudia Cardinale. Marcello had a wife with
three sons and a mistress (CC) with three daughters.
Quite entertaining actually.

My advise? If none of the involved parties object, do
whatever makes you happy. However, if either the wife
or the mistress object, the husband has to choose, or
he'll lose both women.

Yeah I must agree it is a strange situation to say the least.. but all situations have an element of the abnormal about them I guess... If you guys all know there's an affair than hurt is unlikely...

and that there will be no divorce and the dude doesn't want to marry the other woman?? It sounds quite like a win/win situation for all parties. What does the wife think about the other woman wanting kids with her husband??

You might want to consider how that'd work... would the (future) mother move in with the guy and his wife?? hmmmm...... yes. odd. very odd... but "Whatever boils your broccoli", I say.

Good luck to you all.

Re: In Love with a Married Man
I was agreeing with Jane until I remembered this little part:
Now I'm starting to agree with Mintcake, but I'm taking it further. If the Other Woman really wants this, I can't honestly see a way that the situation will end up being healthy, even if everyone involved (the man and the two women) is cool with it. There's no way that well-adjusted children can be raised in an environment like that.

Yeah for sure. Thats my concern as well.. Strange that everyone would be happy with this... Poor children... :s

If the Married Man and the Wife still have kids who are living at home, their childhoods are getting messed up. If the Man and Wife had kids who have moved out, they will lose respect for both of their parents if they find out. And if the Man and the Other Woman end up having kids, their childhoods will likewise be messed up. If there are children anywhere in the Man's life, or if there's a chance that there might be in the future, then he should definitely reconsider his actions.

*reads smogs reply, thinks hard, squints, re-reads and tilts head sideways* I've gone cross-eyed...

I tried to make sense! I swear!

What does the Wife have to say about the new proposed next generation?

Let's do some math.

Couple already married 35 years.

Mistress wants a family.

Father-to-be at least in his mid-50's.

That'll be fun. Dad'll be in his 70's when his kids are in high school and going into college/university. If he's still alive.

Silly.

~~~~~~~~~

Actually, I think I'd tell whoever made up this scenario to grow up.

Yes, what about the children? What about marriage?
This situation is not uncommon around the world, even in the US. There are countries that permit polygamy, either by law, or tacitly.

The children in these numerous cases grow up like other children do. Just as in general population, many become prominent figures in the society; others fair less well. We take many conditions for granted, such as available Mom and Dad, but that is not always the case.

The children must feel loved and know the following:

(1) Their parents' choices are not within their control or their responsibility.

(2) How others in the society choose to view the situation (including pitying or teasing the children) is these people's choices and not under the children's control.

(3) The children can be happy and can create their meaningful lives.

The Man's children by the Wife are living by themselves. They do not know about the other Woman. Nor is there any plan by the Man, the Wife and the Other Woman to let them know.

Now what about the Wife? The Wife and the Man stay in the marriage because of their sense of responsibility. There is no "romance."

We celebrate longevity in marriage, but do we measure its quality?

We view family "staying together" as healthy, but do we measure its happiness?

Would you stay in a stale marriage for the rest of your life for your children after they move out? What would you do?

Do you think stale marriages are rare and abnormal?

Excellent post davidsox.

Welcome to a2k- hope you stick around.

No, I wouldn't. I only live once and why should I not have
the right to be happy. There is nothing worse than having
regrets later on.