Fri 8 May, 2020 12:35 pm
This may sound a bit silly to ask, but I can’t help but feel a bit uneasy about another woman who is interested in my boyfriend.
My boyfriend and I have been dating for 3 years. The other woman (let’s call her “Girl #1) is someone he has known before he met me. They aren’t exactly close friends, more like acquaintances. But, she has openly told me when I met her a few months ago that, YES, she is interested in my boyfriend, but will not act on anything. In the past, (before I met my BF) my boyfriend has been quite nice to her, saying hello to her at parties (No big deal) that he would attend with friends and once he even exchanged a gift with her when his friends attended a Christmas function. (She’s in his friend circle—again, they’re not close. But, he figured he might get a small gesture. All of this was before he met me)
Anyways, he has told me in the past that he has never had any romantic feelings for her—again, he doesn’t know her too well. But, my issue is really with Girl #1 and her friend group. I don’t hate her in any way, I just feel anxious. I have heard her friends talking behind my back, saying things like SHE deserves to be with my current boyfriend, that they’re better together, that he’s probably lying and doesn’t actually love me (but, loves her—Girl #1) and that I “can not compare to her”. Her friends don’t know my BF and I personally, so I know those comments shouldn’t bother me, but I can’t help but feel insecure over them.
My close friends and even my BF’s friends have told me that my BF is very loyal to me and only loves me. My boyfriend has even said it himself that I am the only one. I know all of their opinions should count more than some outsiders who don’t know us... but, again I can’t help but feel worried.
Should I just ignore the comments that Girl #1 and her friends are making behind my back?
I think you worry too much, and if you escalate that worry and do it too much you will definitely create a real problem with no good solution.