Thu 26 Mar, 2020 04:21 pm
Im a 19 year old male.
I've noticed a reaccurring pattern since the advent of my teenhood. I have a striking ability to remember strangers well, and people who I don't really care about - down to the last physical detail I can often remember.
However, people who I have loved, or had deeply strong emotional ties to (both positive and negative) I find I cannot remember much of their physicality, their voice - it is confined to these particularly vivid aspects, such as certain sentances, items of clothing, or tiny physical features. I forget almost everything of their appearance and sound. I find this very distressing. Those who I love the most, and have lost, I clutch onto memory of their essence, or their words. Could this be some kind of defense mechanism since all these people have had a deep emotional impact on me?
I have no idea, but I am constantly amazed at what I can and cannot remember.
This is either very good or very bad.
It took me at least sixty three years to get to that point.
I’m OK with it now if that helps.
I think it’s good that you care enough to think about it though.
There’s short term and then there’s long term memory. Your loved ones’ memories may be getting buried by all the new information coming in every day.
You can’t have it all at the front at the same time.
Mediation or hypnosis may help you brush aside the layers and help you recall pleasant things about people you want to remember.
But if memories are bad, best to leave them just where they are.
Have you talked to a psychologist about this?
The fact that you said you "find this distressing" makes me think that you should talk to a professional about this.