Do parents secretly have a favorite son or daughter?

I think you can love your kids equally and still have a favorite.

I'm sorry I know this thread was for parents to reply only.

However being a child I will have to say none of that... there is no equal treatment. I'm not going to say that I've been hated the most as a child or any of that sob story bull doogies... I'll say this I divided the way parents treat their own children in 3 parts... Imperialism, Favouritism, Communism. I'll say more if need be other than that I leave it at that and to thank you for taking the time to read my p.o.v.

I'm sure parents often favour one child over another, no matter how much they protest that they don't. And I'm sure that the favoured & the unfavoured often know who they are!

" I'll say this I divided the way parents treat their own children in 3 parts... Imperialism, Favouritism, Communism"



haha nice post

My answer is a simple yes, they do have favourites. I am my dad's favourite (and I do feel guilty about it).

Ohhh...

"My answer is a simple yes, they do have favourites. I am my dad's favourite (and I do feel guilty about it). "

Lucky you I wish I could say the same for myself, but my dad only lets me out of my cage for 2 hours a day when my brother gets 5 hours to roam the house. So unfair

Oh and why is everyone spelling favorite with a "u"? AHHHHHHHH did some lexiconographer change the spelling on me

That's cute.



The Australian spelling includes a "u". That's my explaination for the spelling.

Parents love all their children, but, yes they do have favorites. Even within the other family members, they too have favorites.

Parents do have favourites. But they love all equally. I am my dad's favourite and my sister is my Mom's. But they love us both equally. If we are in need we would both get the same attention from our parents.

Parents do get upset with their kids when they rebel and do not completely adhere by their rules. But the love remains. Parents often use different ways of dealing with different kids, because one reacts better to one treatment while the other reacts better to other treatments. For example, one kid reacts better to time outs while the other reacts better to cutting away all the allowances. The kid who gets his allowances cut may feel timeouts are better and may think the parents favour his sibling more than him. But of course that is not true.

One more example.. One kid drinks his milk if the milk is kept on the counter without even having to remind once. The other kid has to be reminded at least 3 times to drink his milk. Now the mother wants both of them to drink the milk. So she keeps on reminding the second to drink his milk until he drinks it. The second can very easily misconstrue it as why mom nags with me but does not nag the other.

I don't know if the parental love can be put in very simple terms, leave aside balancing between favouritism and loving. There are good parents and there are bad parents. A good parent is good with everybody. Loves all may have favourites but loves all. A bad parent is bad with all, no love.. no favourites.

I consider myself lucky to have good and caring parents.

"Parents do have favourites. But they love all equally. I am my dad's favourite and my sister is my Mom's. But they love us both equally. If we are in need we would both get the same attention from our parents."

Just to throw this out there for the sake of debate: Have they ever explicitly stated that they prefer one of you to the other or are your beliefs on who each parent holds as a favo(U)rite merely a product of your favoritism towards one of your parents?
So maybe you favor your Dad a bit and in turn, you project those feelings onto him and assert he likes you more.


A lot of Aussies on tonight. How is everything down under?

Oh and to the female who is Australian + Chinese. That is a nice combo *fap fap fap*

Weather is raining and more rain with the occasional sun.



not quite sure what you mean there... beg your pardon?

"not quite sure what you mean there... Confused beg your pardon?"

LOL. Maybe I shouldn't define it, we're in mixed company.

I was just saying the Asian + Aussie combo could create a nice looking girl and "Fap" is a noise one makes when relieving themselves of a "great tension"

EDIT: Excuse my crude humor. It was merely a joke.

Sorry to disappoint you then, but I'm 100% chinese, based in Australia, is all.




That's ok. :wink: I've had worse on a2k sometimes.

As a child of parents (hahahaha) let me say that I don't think my mother had a favorite. She had those of us that did more to make her proud and make her smile, but she she a strict and very spoken rule abour having favorites. We all got spanked equally

Now..speaking as a parent. when I had my 2nd daughter I was sooo afraid that I would love her less, not spend as much time with her and all sorts of silliness like that because she came 2nd and I had the other for 2 years and had bonded (finally) with her. They're sitting on the sofa right now and I can't look at either of them long enough. The 4 year old keeps me with a bit if ire. She's the most troublesome, she gets the most spankings and makes the biggest messes. She's the most 'hard headed" as we say here in the south. The 6 year old is the most compliant, she's quicker to do what she's told and she's rarely to be seen misbehaving. ....But she she does it's a doozy (ie: throwing liquid on other students at a fieldtrip)

With that said, they are both my favorites at different times for different reasons. It usually hinges on behavior (both good and bad) and changes several times during the day. I don't feel bad about telling one to go away and think about what she's done and in the next breath asking the other if I can hug her. They both get the same thing.

I don't think they're the worse for that type of favoritism....because they both know they're loved the same and if one is the favorite right now, it doesn't matter because the other will be the favorite soon.

There is no way that a parent could develop an equal relationship with each of their children. Children are individuals and therefore you will have a different relationship with each of them. That does not mean, however, that a parent would love one child more than another. You could love your children equally, but love them differently.

Also, liking a child is much different than loving a child. At one time, my mom actually told me that she does not like my older brother. I can understand that. My older brother can be a very selfish, hateful person many times. She also stated that she still loves him very much. Mom and child relationships can be very complex. Instinctively, moms love their children in a way that only another mother could fully understand. And I am sure that dads feel similarly. So parents could in effect not "like" their child - and I would have to imagine that this is more for an adult child - but still love them.

Also, as children are individuals you should consciously treat them differently; fairly, but different. For example, some children respond better to being stricter, some children you do not have to be strict because they do not test the boundaries the same as a sibling. This is true of my two children. One child, I can simply tell her to stop misbehaving and she will, however, her sister will continue unless I put down the hammer. They have very different personalities and need to be dealt with differently.

I do like my children for different reasons. I have one child that can be so stubborn, that she is extremely difficult at times, but as a result she tries harder in everything that she does, it is amazing. She has the most extreme personalities I think I have seen in a child. She can be the absolute sweetest child in the world one minute and the most absolute monster the next. It is true I sometimes do not like it one she is so stubborn she will not listen to me, but I love her dearly. I also realize that the part of her personality that makes her so difficult also makes her such a hard and determined worker.

My other daughter, some people may think is easier to like, because she is so easy going. She is easy to care for in about every aspect you can think of - she is smart and quick to learn and very loving. However, I worry that as she gets older she would more likely to be led by friends to do things she should not. She also could easily be overlooked because she is so much more easy going. I love both so much and like each for different reasons, but could never imagine loving one more than the other.

Funny onyxelle, my children are the opposite - the older being the more stubborn, the younger being the more compliant.

My dad has never voiced his favouritism But everyone can tell. Even the relatives that visited us once in a decade LOL. My dad and me are similar in personality so we get along well. My sister's personality resembles my mom and they get along well.

But love is different altogether. They have been with us equally when we needed them. The favouritism on our parents part was never looked upon with despise by either one of us. Both me and my sister were comfortable with this favouritism because we were secured under a strong parental love.

That applies to me as well - its because my dad and I are similar in personality, not to mention our sense of humour and our political, cultural etc views on many things in the world (we're both staunch conservatives in many ways and deadly liberal in other issues) that he prefers my company than to my brother.



Applicable and agreed again - my dad would never neglect my brother over his health or education merely because he prefers my company - his love can be said to be equal and fairly divided.

favorites
I am my parents' favorite. Of course, my two brothers would say the exact same thing...

I don't. And if my parents did, they never showed it. I love both of my children very much and very equally and there are no limits on that love. It is unconditional no matter what.

There were times in their growing up that they each did things I did not like or approve of, but that never led me to favor one over the other. They are two very different individuals, amazing gifts in their own right and I could never love one more than the other. I was equally blessed.