7
   

How would you feel about this if done to you?

 
 
Reply Thu 30 Jan, 2020 07:33 am
Would you ever show your boyfriend or girlfriend other beautiful women or men in real life or tv, I mean would you feel secure and comfortable to do this or not?

I see shows all the time with my boyfriend, comedy, movies, etc and he will most likely say: wow that girl is precious, very pretty. The thing is that I don’t know if he does it to get a reaction from me or what exactly.

I have a good friend who told me that she would never show her boyfriend any other woman( she said this because another friend of ours was showing us a video of this girl twerking and she moved like a robot and I said oh I’m gonna show this to my bf, and thats why she said that.

But I have come to the conclusion that my bf is obsessed with girls from a specific nationality ( and the comedy show that we like is exactly from that country) and I have caught him searching on youtube for specific comedy videos with the “pretty girls”.

Btw my last post talks about a girl That I believe he is obsessed with and SHE HAPPENS TO BE THAT NATIONALITY AS WELL. I definitely would like to know if he just wants me to feel insecure and us gaslighting me with this or what exactly.

To me is ridiculous that perhaps oh that girl is beautiful and he says yeah she is the prettiest but is dumb ( this is a remark from a girl that has my nationality) but when we see a girl from the nationality that he appears to be obsessed about he finds her perfect( decent, calm and everything good) but if we talk about a girl from my nationality he says oh yeah she is super pretty but then he just kills everything by saying ( that she does not have a brain).

My friend told me that he is doing this to strut it in my face in a soft and indirect way, to make me feel inferior .
 
Methen
 
  1  
Reply Thu 30 Jan, 2020 08:05 am
@jenny-00,
This problem is simple to solve do on to him as he does on to you turn about is fair play
jenny-00
 
  1  
Reply Thu 30 Jan, 2020 08:27 am
@Methen,
Right, also what I can do is never put that, show again or mention it, even though he might be the one to put it if I don’t .
Methen
 
  1  
Reply Thu 30 Jan, 2020 08:39 am
@jenny-00,
Then simply tell him how you feel, if he does not respect that then leave him
0 Replies
 
Leadfoot
 
  1  
Reply Thu 30 Jan, 2020 01:40 pm
@jenny-00,
Buy BF a blindfold and put on him when viewing media.
If girl on screen sounds smart, invest in earplugs.
0 Replies
 
PUNKEY
 
  1  
Reply Thu 30 Jan, 2020 02:44 pm
How old is this guy?

Maturity101 says you NEVER comment about a pretty girl - you let your partner do it first.

Then close the conversation with, “But you are the prettiest girl in my life.”

Drop this idiot. He’s being provocative and demeaning.

jenny-00
 
  1  
Reply Thu 30 Jan, 2020 08:24 pm
@PUNKEY,
Well hold on tight, he is 48 years old, maybe since I am 31 he feels the need to gaslight me with all those things he says. I don’t want to sound snobby but I look good, I am very pretty according to what others say and I know it, perhaps he sees this and feels the need to blast me/ bother me with these comments to make me feel inferior/insecure or something.

Like the other post I did about this girl he is obsessed with that worked in the bldg his engineer company send him to.

Read the previous post and tell me what you think, plus this on top.
ehBeth
 
  5  
Reply Thu 30 Jan, 2020 08:44 pm
sounds familiar
he's still older
you're still jealous

https://able2know.org/topic/463419-1#post-6656084
0 Replies
 
vikorr
 
  1  
Reply Fri 31 Jan, 2020 04:46 am
@jenny-00,
Have you not told him that you find his behaviour disrespectful?

In case there is any misunderstanding - I do not mean 'indirectly' telling him, but have you directly told him?

His reaction to such would tell you much more than people here who don't know why he is doing it (even you are just guessing).
jenny-00
 
  1  
Reply Fri 31 Jan, 2020 08:41 am
@vikorr,
**UPDATE**: Yesterday my boyfriend and me had a small discussion because I see that he barely wants sex and since may 2019 he was telling me that it’s wrong to have sex without being married( he is religious, he does not go every Sunday to church but he try’s to go most of the time. So since then he was telling me that we should wait, that its not right but we did have sex after that and 2 days ago we had ( but I could tell he was not into it, he was snooring).

So yesterday we had a discussion about the same thing, and told me for some moments he gets that feeling that he is doing something wrong and its a spiritual situation fir him, that is called fornication before marriage, mind you I am 31, how the heck dies this man pretend to have me like this without sex ( or just have sex from time to time) for crying out loud I’m starting to live my life, especially us that we had had sex before and NOW THIS!!!

You guys, I just don’t know what to do anymore( either he is using this as an excuse, he dies mor feel attracted to me or he wants me out of his life.

And my answer to him was you know what if you want me out of your house you will have to try harder because I am not leaving out of here. I am not gonna be the bad one who decided to dump him and leave, he will have to grow a pair and do it himself otherwise I am not doing it. ( cause this his issue he always wants to be seen as the good one and I am the bad person).
jespah
 
  3  
Reply Fri 31 Jan, 2020 08:48 am
@jenny-00,
You're not a bad person if you get out of a relationship that isn't working. Please don't have that mindset.

And waiting around for him to do it isn't going to do you any good. He'll just fart around like he has been. Right now, it's probably in his economic (or other) best interests to keep you strung along. You don't have to hang around.
PUNKEY
 
  1  
Reply Fri 31 Jan, 2020 08:50 am
He’s seeing how “bad” he can be so you will leave him. He insults you and now is withdrawing affection in order to force the issue.

You don't seem to have a sense of self pride here. Most women would leave because they think they deserve better.

Pack your bags and leave. If he loves you he will change, but don’t depend on it.
0 Replies
 
jenny-00
 
  1  
Reply Fri 31 Jan, 2020 08:52 am
@jespah,
Do you think this sex situation is him making excuses because something is going on?

I feel my boyfriend is very complicated to understand, even my close people tell me so.
izzythepush
 
  2  
Reply Fri 31 Jan, 2020 09:35 am
@jenny-00,
Have you seen Bitter Moon? That's a film about a couple who don't move on when they should. He grows tired of her and in an attempt to get him to move out his behaviour becomes more extreme and he punishes her. He's unfaithful, cruel and really horrible and she just puts up with it. Then he has an accident is in a wheelchair and she does the same to him.

Basically it's about two people who devote their lives to making the other person as miserable as possible.

It looks like that's where you might be headed. If it were me I'd get out now.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bitter_Moon

And if I had a 31 year old girlfriend I'd count my blessings, just like Krusty.




jespah
 
  3  
Reply Fri 31 Jan, 2020 01:44 pm
@jenny-00,
I think it doesn't matter, so don't dwell on it.

Fish or cut bait.
Leadfoot
 
  1  
Reply Fri 31 Jan, 2020 02:46 pm
@izzythepush,
Killer Krusty clip! Loved it!
0 Replies
 
jenny-00
 
  1  
Reply Mon 3 Feb, 2020 01:49 am
@jespah,
Oh lord he mentioned her again, but it was my fault cause we were talking about having chemistry with someone, and I told him the story if a good friend of mine, and he had the exact same happen to him, except that he was telling me that he was connected emotionally to her, that they had chemistry but they had a deal he would not have sex with her due to the fact that she asked for it because she was vulnerable because her boyfriend at that time broke up with her, left her for this other girl and married this other girl little after breaking up with her.

So he has the nerve to explicitly tell me, she was in a bra and panties with this amazing body 🤔, and he had boxers on, they were kissing, cuddling and nothing else.

And again tells me with insisting that she is precious, that she had a whole bunch of men after her, she has this amazing body, this work position, etc etc, and he always seems frustrated or almost bitter about it, I wonder why!! They had nothing serious, just going out and getting to know each other.
Leadfoot
 
  2  
Reply Mon 3 Feb, 2020 06:39 am
@jenny-00,
As The Turd Whirls will continue after a word from
0 Replies
 
 

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