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Me Vs her,can this be considered a red flag?

 
 
Reply Wed 6 Jun, 2018 10:02 am
To keep it short, my bf was showing me some pictures of him, and when he was going through different albums I happen to see an album cover which had the picture of his ex wife,besides this picture they send text messages to each other/communicate on a regular basis (I really don’t know who starts the message or conversation) and he even sees her in person when she needs a favor from him, should I feel worried an concerned or not. he is a great person with me, treats me very nice, but I want him to forget about her an move on. I get they where married for quite some time but they don’t have even have kids together so I don’t get all the communication between them. She is 58 and he is 46, I am 30.

Plus the WORST is that yesterday we were together, and when we were going back home, he was checking his messages and he then tells me:'' it was my ex wife she texted me that her car broke down'' she is with a friend. and then when we get home he tells me let me call her, so he goes outside, why in the world would he not call her in front of me? you see this is what makes my head spin around, , the other thing that I don't get why the hell does she have to call him to tell him that? and the worst part is that he sometimes goes an caters to her needs (Obviously he did not that day ,he was with Me), I feel he is a fool for being a way to nice after a divorce people usually don't get this along after a DIVORCE! Honestly I really don't know what to do, if just get it over with and have a conversation with him an tell him to forget his past and move on, I just cant keep swallowing my thoughts over an over. this has to stop or I am out. Why in the freaking world is he with me if lets say he still ha feelings for her? does not make sense at all.

I talk to him about it and he understood, he seemed very sincere and told me he was really into me and he felt very good being with me and that if i did not like something that he was not going to do it anymore. that's why he is buying this house so we can plan a life together. that if I left him he would be deeply hurt. I hope he is not telling a lie or something. To be honest he seemed sincere to my knowledge.

 
jespah
 
  3  
Reply Wed 6 Jun, 2018 10:14 am
@jenny-00,
You're looking for trouble where there isn't any.

He's nice to his ex. That means he's a truly nice person. Would you prefer if she were stalking you and him, and boiling bunnies on your stove?
0 Replies
 
CoastalRat
 
  3  
Reply Wed 6 Jun, 2018 10:50 am
@jenny-00,
Quote:
have a conversation with him an tell him to forget his past and move on
Yeah, let us know how well that goes.

So he is friendly with his ex-wife. Big deal. They talk regularly. Big deal. I talk to several women regularly and my wife has no problem with that. Why? Because she KNOWS I love her and am with her. There is a reason I am not with these other women but simply talk to them. It is because I do not love them. And my wife understands.

Seems like your guy is a good one. Don't be looking for stuff that is not there.
0 Replies
 
vikorr
 
  1  
Reply Wed 6 Jun, 2018 06:07 pm
@jenny-00,
Wow, uh, it sounds like his is one of the few that gets along with his ex. This is NOT odd - it does happen, usually to couples who are both genuinely nice people who have realised that they just grew apart / out of love.

There does not seem to be a 'WORST' of it - he was open with you about he text him, and what it was about. So he was not hiding anything. Even his going outside is considerate of you, because he knew that the text message upset you.

You seem to have insecurity / trust issues.

The easiest way to know if someone is trustworthy is to see whether or not their actions match their words. Trustworthy people are consistent in word and deed. The only qualification I would put on that when working out whether or not his words match his actions, you must look at it from his point of view (ie. you cannot use your past as a judgement on whether or not he is consistent - you must look at what he says, understand it, and see if it matches what he does)

I mention this, because it can help you overcome your trust issues, to truly understand your bf (though if by chance, he is a liar, then you will work that out too)
0 Replies
 
chai2
 
  1  
Reply Wed 6 Jun, 2018 07:26 pm
Does no one else recognize this poster?

She has posted tons of times, mostly under another name, but also uses this one. Primarily about her 16 year older than she BF who picked her up in Walmart, and since then has been telling stories about his ex-wife, the realtor and so forth, all making her crazy.

Troll alert.
0 Replies
 
ehBeth
 
  3  
Reply Thu 7 Jun, 2018 08:22 am
@jenny-00,
jenny-00 wrote:
Why in the freaking world is he with me


excellent question based on your posting history
izzythepush
 
  1  
Reply Fri 8 Jun, 2018 06:25 am
@ehBeth,
Probably for the same reason as the candidate at 6.31.

0 Replies
 
 

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