Cold sores and future partner?

Reply Thu 23 Jan, 2020 02:04 pm
So, as in my school and all I wasn't "deeply" educated regarding STDs, I never thought about the cold sores of my mouth as such, until a bit ago. I barely had contact with one partner in my life and unless that person hid it from me, I never passed it to them.

But now that I realised that is such a contagious disease (even when there isn't a visible outbreak) and can actually damage people in their genitals (if they got it from example from me performing oral sex), I've begun to worry.

Not that much about me, but about any future -possible- partner.

I've started to think that, if I got any chance to get that kind of contact, I should tell them, as it seems like an actual risk.

But it also feels like such a "deal-breaker" or, at least, really humiliating. Like, can I expect anyone EVER to take the risk if they know about it?

And yet, I've seen that the cold sores are a "fairly" common disease.

So I guess my question(s) would be if I am overblowing it, if I did miss something, or whether I just should be straight-forward about it to anyone that in the future would want to approach me that way. Anything about it would help me, maybe what you thought when (if) your partner told you this, as I am not sure what to think about it, thanks...
Reply Thu 23 Jan, 2020 02:52 pm
It's a very, very common disease. Many of your future partners may already have it.

In the meantime, talk to your doctor about outbreaks (I am not a doctor, please visit yours!) and prevention.
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Reply Thu 23 Jan, 2020 04:51 pm
OK... short answer:

Don't worry about it. Don't kiss someone (or use your mouth in any other way) while you have sores. Other than that, live your life.

Longer answer.

The only significant damage caused by herpes (of either type) is the stigma and fear caused by this over-hyped skin rash. No one even cared about Herpes (either kind) until the 1970s when drug companies hyped it up to sell newly invented anti-viral medicines.

1. In the majority of cases, the Herpes virus does nothing. In the majority of the remaining cases, it causes a rash once in a while. It is very rare for herpes to cause any other complication (except for people with HIV or some other health issue).

2. The CDC recommends people NOT get tested for either kind of Herpes (oral or genital), because the stress caused by the stigma of the disease is worse than the disease itself. If you get tested for STDs, most likely you will not be given a herpes test unless you have symptoms.

3. Most adults in the US have at least one type of Herpes (oral or genital). Over 20% of women and over 10% of men have genital herpes. Most people who have the virus are happily ignorant of their condition.

It is just stupid that people make such a big deal over this. Live your life.

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