If the Ashes are lost by Australia McTag there will be rioting in the streets, burning cars, buildings looted....well maybe not, but there will be long faces, drawn brows, mutterings of "we wuz robbed" and calls for Ricky Ponting to be sent to Tasmania. Wait a minute, he comes from Tasmania.
As I was saying there will be calls for Ricky Ponting to be incarcerated in a small island off the southern coast of Tasmania where his only companions will be small wallabies and muttonbirds.
The Australian cricket team will be met at Sydney Airport by hordes of riot police. Extra police will be flown in from around the country and sworn in as special constables in New South Wales to deal with the anticipated violent attacks on the team. Team members will be given bodyguards for the rest of their lives.
The Australian media will suffer collective apoplexy as it simultaneously seeks to denounce Ponting and the team while at the same time trying to take as much gloss of the win for England as is humanly possible.
The nation will then enter a period of mourning which may last years.
Sore losers? Us? Naaaaaaaahhhhh!!!!