Sun 22 Dec, 2019 10:52 am
I will try to be brief.
I am 46, my gf is a 37 single mom (2 kids)…few months ago she went to a club with some girls, i found out that she ended up flirting and dancing with some young guy of 21. Before i find out she told me that some guy came to her, talked to her while she was dancing, but she refused him and sent him away. I found out that she danced with him, i confronted her with this, and said “yeah, i forgot, we danced a little bit, few seconds, but that’s it”, and she swore that it was it. After a while i saw some videos made at that club, and i saw that she danced somehow in an intimate way with him, several times, and spoke and laughed several times, and at some point she danced with him on the table, also in an intimate way (when i say intimate, i didn’t see any kissing, but intimate positions, grinding…etc).
I confronted her again with this and she said that simply she forgot about that dancing on the table, because she drank too much that night, and the reason that she danced with him because we had a big fight that day and she just wanted to forget.
The idea is, whatever happens we can talk about it, even if we end up cheating, we can discuss it, so i don’t understand why she still insists on lying.
I am not sure if what i wrote makes any sense to you. But i appreciate your advice.
Thanks in advance
I think it's been a few months and you're still holding on to some perceived slight against you because she danced with a 21 year old at a bar. I don't understand talking about it after one cheats - one of you needs to leave after something like that happens. You're dating, not married. Find someone more aligned and compatible with you.
As traumatized as you feel, you’re attitude and insecurity are the larger problem here, not her getting loaded and forgetting some minor dancing activity. What was the fight about, BTW.
I’m curious as to how you got access to the video recordings of a business.
Unless there has been followup activity with this boy toy, consider it out of her thoughts. You, on the other hand, seem fixated on the issue.
Maybe you are afraid that she has the ability to move on if she feels you two aren’t getting along or she’s being treated badly.
You should have brought her flowers and candy instead.
I wouldn't worry too much about the flirting as such, a lot of girls enjoy it and if a guy sees a good looking girl in a club, he's often going to do what guys do!
I would be more concerned about the drinking which clouds the judgement and makes people forget exactly what happens. I know this for sure as when my wife goes out with her friends some of whom are serious drinkers, things happen that shouldn't and their recall of it is often cloudy.
As your post and the incident is some time ago, hope you guys are ok now?
I think that nothing terrible stood behind this, people are insecure, maybe she really did not attach any importance to this. The main thing is that such trifles do not spoil relations in the future, you do not need to focus on this. Have a nice day