Cafe 101

Cafe 101
"What a day" says Stradee entering the Cafe ~ asks Wassau for a cup of coffee ~ cement attached to danon's workboots and his poor hand wrapped in bandaids ~ waves to all and finally sits relaxing after busy workday of painting furniture.

"Wassau and Lola, what's on the dinner menu"? Hi Diane and P&L <Jack giving Stradee doggie smooch> have ya all decided where our next adventure destination will be yet?

Hiama sits with an ice pack atop his noggin, and Stradee wonders what the heck happened at the Cafe since her last visit!

As Diane starts to awaken, she groans with one of the worst headaches she's ever had. "Why on earth do I have to be so clumsy?" Poor Dys, I hope I didn't give him a concussion. I hope he is still speaking to me.

She manages to pry her eyes open and, looking around at the unfamiliar landscape, she realizes what must have happened--Oooooh Noooo!!! That clicker was in my hand and I must have hit it with my thumb. Where in the world am I?

Hark, who is that with the lovely baritone singing How to Handly a Woman? She tiptoes toward the singing until she spies one of the most handsome men she has ever laid eyes on; a man who happens to look just like Richard Harris.

I know this isn't a movie set--how could this be? could Richard Harris be the descendant of the real King Arthur? God knows Harris had that noble look about him.

Did Richard J. Lerner plaigarize that wonderful song? I'm so disillusioned! What's going on here? It's not Monty Python, yet I'm beginning to get the feeling that this isn't normal time travel. Has the clicker gone a little surreal? Is this a different dimension entirely? Isn't there something about Schroedinger's Cat being in two states at one time?

Oh, woe is me. How can I let the others know where I am if I'm not really anywhere, or if I'm in a parallel universe?

I wonder if they have any way of tracing me.........................?

The cafe denizens leap for the clicker in Diane's hand, but.........oops, too late. Just as Wassau reached for the clicker, Diane's finger pushed the button!

"Oh no," cried the others. "What ever shall we do?"

"Wait," said Prissy, "I think I hear Diane calling or singing or, what is that voice saying? Where is it coming from?"

"Oh, How beautiful! This is wonderful." Diane's fading voice could be heard saying. "The forest is the most beautiful color red I've ever seen, almost glowing. And those interesting people - at least most of them are people. They, they are!! The Wildclicker group that has been lost for ages in the wilderness looking for Rudabegayeti's home" voice faded to quiet.

Danon sat in the bent wood chair sipping his coffee and quietly saying, "Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow - - -

Cafe 101
Maybe the DCP <Worldwide Confluence Navigator> can tap Diane's clicker
finding her location Stradee muses.

Hmmm, the red forest. Sherwood in another dimension? Hiama must look up coordinates for 18th century rural England and Danon can configure DCP.

Another sound is heard where Diane stood just a few moments before disappearing. Beautiful tones of a Lute and gentle laughter. Someone says "Look"! there floating across the Cafe an arora borealis pausing then traking a ghostly shape but somehow distinguisable as a person.

"Can it be" exclaims Stradee " Kallah the Wizard "!

Raggedy Man wandered on, unconscious of the very long line of, sort of, people following him. His only concern was in finding love among the throngs of living things he met during his daily excursions through the forest. That's why he carried hidden in his pocket the very thing that would help him in his quest - the love magnet! Only a tiny glance at the magnet would make any living thing fall instantly in love with Raggedy Man. Just ask Dorothy, she shoud know, she had a very quick glance and fell instantly under it's spell. There in front of the throng appeared none other than - the one himself - Kallah the Wizard!!!

"WHAT IS THE MEANING OF CROSSING MY PATH??" asked Kallah.

Meanwhile at the Cafe, danon sat in the bent wood chair and - looking at his fingers said quietly, "Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, - - -

Diane was really hoping to stay in Camelot, but the parallel universe kept changing.

I wonder if the people in the cafe are thinking thoughts that make this world change? Hell's bells, I was pretty close to Richard Harris and somebody goes and thinks of that old wizard Kallah. And everything looks red, an unflattering, ugly red. Ugh. I was all set for Richard to sing How to Handle a Woman to me. Me alone. Alone with Richard Harris. Singing. But do they care? Nooooo.

OK, how am I going to get out of here? I can hear the voices in the Cafe, but I can't see them. I'd like to scream at them, but I don't want that wizard to hear me and God knows that raggedy man is the pits.

Damn, I would love to imagine my own world just once in a while. I'm not finished with Richard. I'll be back.

Is that a lake? Am I a lady? No, don't answer that. Hmmm.

Harp of the North! that mouldering long hast hung
On the witch-elm that shades Saint Fillan's spring,
And down the fitful breeze thy numbers flung,
Till envious ivy did around thee cling....!!!!!
<Sir Walter Scott, Bart. 'The Lady of The Lake' c1882 (at least that's the date of my copy)>

Better move it girl!!

"And you're not a watery tart either, so ignore all bits by Monty Python," says a smooth and suave voice, clearly from a gentleman. Diane turns and seeing him, swoons and the lights go out for a moment.

As she struggles to regain her senses, Diane cries out 'Richard? Richard?' to which there came, 'Yes, Hyacinth!!'

Ooops, wrong Richard!!

LOL, Danon. Very funny

Sweat trickling from every aching pores on his skin, Hiama dismounts from his trusty steed.

This gym business is worse than jousting, at least with jousting you get to kill people. For herein at this noble in he may quaff a cup of ale or a cup of that brew from the fermentation from the nibbed and roasted beans of the Coffea Arabica plant.

He puts his feet up, then he takes them down again, they make the place look untidy.

Pretty soon he is asleep, lets hope he stays like that for a while.

Cafe 101


<now where was I >

Stradee tosses a pair of 3-d glasses to Lola placing an anti magification perimeter around the Wiz who crosses his arms, leans against one of the cafe pillars, a slow slow smile appearing from multicolored lips.

Stradee looks at Lola and exclaims "Now What"!

"Ok ~ focus" says Lola.

Suddenly, emerging from the courtyard with great fanfare, Shylah the Saracen Sorceress floats toward Kalla.

"Kaaalllaaa / you are supposed to be guarding the Gate of Theoria! Now let these nice people find their friend Diane. Shoo, scat now"!

Just then Dys wakes from his coma, scans the scene in the Cafe, decides he's not fully recovered from his collision with Diane, and renders himself unconcious again.

Diane, caught up in Danons imagination, quickly looks up at the expected Richard Harris and instead sees Richard Bucket.

Danon is in sooooo much trouble. I'd rather be a watery tart than with that wimpy little shrimp!! Into the lake she dives, swimming along the shore, trying to find Richard Harris and the set to Camelot.

Oh gawd, there's that raggedy ass Raggedy man. The wizard can't be far behind.

I'll stay in this lake for as long as it takes to get my imagination back. It is the only thing that keeps me sane (and titillated), a loverly combination.

Suddenly, as the titillated Diane swims along, minding her own business, she bumps into something hard, long and pointy. Reaching down, she discovers a handle and pulls. "Ahhh",says Diane as she holds up her prize. "It's a sword. I wonder who this belongs to."

For a minute there Lola, you had me all excited!!

So there's Diane, holding the sword trying to remember how the story goes and wondering when Richard Harris makes his appearance.

This dream is getting very wet. Richard.....

Faintly thru the mist a figure posed itself.

On his bold visage middle age
Had slightly pressed its signet sage,
Yet had not quenched the open truth
And fiery vehemence of youth;
Forward and frolic glee was there,
The will to do, the soul to dare,
The sparkling glance, soon blown to fire,
Of hasty love or headlong ire.
His limbs were cast in manly mould
For hardy sports or contest bold.

The figure spoke, 'Diane my dear, it is I, Richard'

Psssssssst, Diane. That guy is my kinda man. Go get im. He sounds delicious.

"In listening mood she seemed to stand,
The guardian Naiad of the strand."

They rode off together, telling the creatures of the lake that they would return on Sunday.
Ahhh, sweet mystery of life..............

Ummm, yes, my imagination's back. Thank you sweet Danon.

And ne'er did Grecian chisel trace
A Nymph, a Naiad, or a Grace,
Of finer form or lovelier face!

Enjoy, dear Diane. We anxiously await your return.