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Am I a lesbian

 
 
Reply Wed 27 Nov, 2019 11:04 am
For as long as I can remember I only liked guys as a child when I was a kid I was very curious about straight kissing videos and it made me feel a weird sensation in my stomach when I first saw two lesbians kissing I was neutral to it I thought it wasn't "taboo" and it was platonic but when I found out about lesbianism the idea of lesbians came off as "kinky " to me and when I started watching poej I could only get off to lesbian porn.
The problem is that in my url life my urges are only oriented towards men all I could think of are men and it's not just some romantic attraction I wanna do very explicit things to them I desire them I fantasize about them and I feel very horny when I think about them the problem is that when I masturbate my fantasies don't match up to what actually makes me horny so in order for me to get off I have to imagine things that are out of my comfort zone like old ugly men , women and other things I don't feel comfortable speaking about. It's hard to me to get off fantasizing about the kind of guys I have urges to **** irl.

I'm afraid I might be a lesbian and I'm living in denial but I'd rather kms then be a lesbian for the only reason is that I don't want to be with women I don't desire them all I desire are men but I always keep asking a question that what if I'm not attracted to men and I'm lying to myself.
I Can't sleep at night I keep watching music videos with my celebrity crushes crying cuz I won't be able to fancy them anymore cuz something in me tells me I'm gay. I wanna be with men I wanna have sex with them that's all I think about most of the time I don't want this to be taken away from me
 
jespah
 
  3  
Reply Wed 27 Nov, 2019 11:12 am
@Imconfused1231,
You don't need a label (no one does).

What people watch for porn very often doesn't sync with the flesh and blood humans they are actually attracted to. No big deal. Porn is a fantasy. Your fantasies are different from reality, so welcome to being normal.

We are all on a very big, very wide inclusive spectrum. You're not 100% on the side of het. And that doesn't matter one iota, seeing as most people aren't 100% one way or the other.

Enjoy your life. In your relationships, I hope you can find people who can either fulfill your fantasies or have no problem with you watching the porn that does.

Hell, I hope we all do.
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NSFW (view)
Sarlav
 
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Reply Fri 27 Dec, 2019 09:30 am
I would say dont put so much pressure on yourself as to the rights and wrongs of your sexuality. What you like is what you like and one day you wi find love and it will a fall into place.
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Ledzo
 
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Reply Fri 27 Dec, 2019 04:39 pm
@Imconfused1231,
I was much the same way, and I suppose I still am, but I have learned not to confuse sexual fantasies with real life relationships. If every one of us acted on our deepest, darkest fetishes the world might fall into a further chaotic state than it already is. You have to come to an understanding that human brains are incredibly complex, and having sex with a partner, especially for women, is often a separate thing than what is going through our brains. It is physically pleasurable, we can be in love with the person, but our minds are in a separate fantasy that allows us to 'reach the peak' so to speak. Just because someone likes tentacle porn doesn't mean their sexual orientation is 'octopus-sexual.'

The majority of my relationships have been with men, but my fantasies and the porn I watch are a much larger spectrum. Lately however, I have been exploring 'fan fiction,' which actually might help you if you want to reorient your fantasies so to speak. Personally I write about certain characters that I find physically attractive and I explore them more deeply as people, create my own fantasies, but there is plenty of already-written fan fiction out there, probably about many of your celebrity crushes that might turn you on.

On the other hand, if you continue to stress over this, your brain might go into obsession mode. You should allow yourself to enjoy what you enjoy without believing there is a requirement to change your entire lifestyle around it. Good luck!
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