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Sat 18 Jun, 2005 03:01 am
to start off... here's one that brings quite a few people under one umbrella :-
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A ship sank in high seas and the following people got stranded on a
beautiful deserted island in the middle of nowhere : -
2 Italian men and 1 Italian woman
2 French men and 1 French woman
2 German men and 1 German woman
2 Greek men and 1 Greek woman
2 Polish men and 1 Polish woman
2 Mexican men and 1 Mexican woman
2 Irish men and 1 Irish woman
2 American men and 1 American woman
2 Indian men and 1 Indian woman
One month later, on various parts of the island, it was
observed...........
- One Italian man killed the other Italian man, for the Italian
woman!
- The two French men and the French woman are living happily
together!
- The two German men have a strict weekly schedule, of when they
alternate with the German woman!
- The two Greek men are sleeping together, and the Greek woman is
cooking & cleaning for them!
- The two Polish men took a long look at the endless ocean and a
long look at the Polish woman. They started swimming!
- The two Mexican men are talking to all the other men on the
island, trying to sell them the Mexican woman!
- The two Irish men began by dividing up their part of the island
into Northern & Southern parts, and by setting up a distillery. They do not
remember the Irish woman because it gets sort of foggy after the first
few litres of coconut whiskey; but at least the English are not getting
any!
- The two American men are contemplating suicide. The American woman is
bitching about her body being her own, the true nature of feminism,
how she can do everything that they can do, about the necessity of fulfillment,
the equal division of the household chores, how her last boyfriend respected her
opinion and treated her much better, and how her relationship with her
mother is improving !
- And the Indian men ? Well . . . . . . . er . . . . The 2 Indian
men are still waiting for someone, to introduce them to the Indian woman!!
Isn't that nice for the French!
Once again the French lead us. Ah, Liberté!!
Joe(and the American men are contemplating suicide only because they cannot figure out how to erect a satellite dish to get the Sports Channel.)Nation
Ha, ha, ha, Joe, too funny!
does anyone have more "people and places" jokes to share?
do you know why some Indians have turbans and others, dots on their heads?
i know the real reasons for both - but what are the "lighter vein" reasons??
dots-"push start"
turbans-"pull start"
Its not very funny in print. Its all in the timing and should only be delivered live.
ok. i'll try "delivering it live" to someone lol.
more people and places joke anyone ??
An American is having breakfast one morning (coffee, croissants,
bread, butter and jam) when a Frenchman, chewing gum, sits down next to him.
The American ignores the Frenchman who, nevertheless, starts a
conversation.
French man: "You American folk eat the whole bread??"
American (in a bad mood): "Of course."
French: (after blowing a huge bubble) "We don't. In France, we
only eat what's inside. The crusts we collect in a container,
recycle it, transform them into croissants and sell them to the
states."
The Frenchman has a smirk on his face.
The American listens in silence.
The Frenchman persists: "Do you eat jelly with the bread??"
American: "Of Course."
Frenchman: (cracking his gum between his teeth and chuckling).
"We don't. In France we eat fresh fruit for breakfast, then we put all the peels, seeds, and leftovers in containers, recycle
them, transform them into jam and sell the jam to the states."
The American then asks: "Do you have sex in France?"
Frenchman: "Why of course we do", he says with a big smirk.
American: "And what do you do with the condoms once you've
used them?"
Frenchman: "We throw them away, of course."
American: "We don't. In America, we put them in a container,
recycle them, melt them down into chewing gum and sell them
to France."
An Irishman, Englishman and Scotsman go into a pub and each order a pint. Just as the bartender hands them over, three flies buzz down and one lands in each of the pints.
The Englishman looks disgusted, pushes his pint away and demands another pint.
The Scotsman picks out the fly, shrugs, and takes a long swallow.
The Irishman reaches in to the glass, pinches the fly between his fingers and shakes him while yelling, "Spit it out, Spit it out!"
The Detective
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A man suspected his wife of seeing another man. So, he
hired a famous Chinese detective, Mee Lookee Yu, to watch any
activities that might develop. A few days later he received this report:
Most honorable sir:
You leave house.
He come house.
I watch.
He and she leave house.
I follow.
He and she get on train.
I follow.
He and she go in hotel.
I climb tree-look in window.
He kiss she.
She kiss he.
He strip she.
She strip he.
He play with she.
She play with he.
I play with me.
Fall out of tree.
Not see.
NO FEE.
Manny Goldberg the tailor, is awoken by his ringing telephone at 3am.
He races downstairs to the phone, expecting an emergency.
"Hello" says Manny.
"Hi there Manny, it's me, your best customer here, Abe Cohen"
"OK Abe, what's the problem already?" says Manny.
"No problem Manny, I just thought I'd phone to tell you that I have just spent the last two hours in bed with your daughter" says Abe.
"Oi, and for this you phone me at 3am? She is twenty five, she lives her own life, why do you have to bother me with the details?" asks Manny.
"Well, it is such a truly wondrous event already, that I thought you had to know straight away" replies Abe.
"What is so wonderful? A man, a woman, what is so remarkable? says Manny.
Abe: "Well, you know you've been my tailor for twenty years"?
Manny: "Yes, so?"
Abe: "Well, at last you've actually made something that fits me"
Is it just me, Bella, or is that "bump" on your avatar getting bigger?
Why do so many frenchmen have mustaches.
To remind them of their mothers
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