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Need some thoughts on how I handled could have handled and what to do.

 
 
Reply Mon 4 Nov, 2019 12:18 am
Okay I have a very strange and sometimes slightly awkward job and I don't like to get in details. About 2 months ago a girl showed up at my place to assist me in my writing throughout that job. Strangely enough however we hit it of on the first day of meeting and got extremely wasted, in work terms we more or less started a relationship about 1.5 months ago but our privates are strictly separate as per rules of our job. Some more funny and weird/awkward stuff happened but we spend almost every night together. Then on Halloween a long dreaded day came, the day I'd try reaching out to one of the most mind crunching girls I've come into contact with on the job, I get nauscious thinking of her mostly it's to hard to explain. She's basically that person thrown into a movie with the sole purpose of causing chaos and despair. The Halloween date went pretty well and she behaved mostly safe for her overly aggressive good morning. So I greenlighted her permission to go out more often (although the final rescission remains elsewhere my opinion is taken into consideration). The next 2 days they both spend at my place together with the collaugue who should give the final word and things are already fairly complicated. The girl I've known for nearly 2 months lost it and tried to hit miss Halloween after her taunting and I caught the blow and prevented fighting. The next day however I was out and she beat her up pretty hard Although extreme Halloween did ask for it and the two seem to have a fairly complicated past and 2 months as a strong grudge. In the end I took miss Halloween's side aknowleging she was wrong because I've known her brother and he was there for me as a kid. They're kinda alike and I do understand her a bit and I know she's the kind of person who always stands alone because if who she is and how she is. Just like her brother I believe she refuses to admit she cares about people so I stood by her. We ended up crying almost all day not to mention our boss came in because apperantly Halloween left without permission. Halloween is now stuck at my place tormenting me but holding back to a degree I can live on my personal life. 2 months is with my colluaegue. I don't know what I want to ask just what you think of the situation, how I handled and what you would have done or would do. I stand by my decision and I won't change it or abandon her. But I will take your responses into consideration any thoughts? Right now my mind is still a mess and I just wanna talk to straighten my head.
 
neptuneblue
 
  1  
Reply Mon 4 Nov, 2019 12:27 am
@SiCl The Puppet,
SiCl The Puppet wrote:
I stand by my decision and I won't change it or abandon her. But I will take your responses into consideration any thoughts? Right now my mind is still a mess and I just wanna talk to straighten my head.


So, what's your point?
SiCl The Puppet
 
  1  
Reply Mon 4 Nov, 2019 12:34 am
@neptuneblue,
I just want some insight and ideas maybe it'll change my mind but I won't blatantly change my decision without a more build out or appealing argument. I'm just messed up in the head right now and words could soothe the turmoil or help me find a way out of this maze. Also I'm curious if anyone else would make the stupid decisions like me I guess.
cherrie
 
  1  
Reply Mon 4 Nov, 2019 03:59 am
@SiCl The Puppet,
Did you write this in different language and then put it in google translate?

Because I'm having a lot of trouble understanding what you're saying, and what you're asking.
Ragman
 
  1  
Reply Mon 4 Nov, 2019 07:29 am
@cherrie,
I agree with you that this is total gibberish. All of the words seemed to be fed into a vegetable blender. More importantly, I’m not sure that it’s not a chronic problem (e.g. logic impaired thinking).
SiCl The Puppet
 
  1  
Reply Mon 4 Nov, 2019 08:50 am
@cherrie,
I'll just remove it if that's possible. I wasn't in the right space of mind and I tend to talk/write in a weird dialect when I am like that. Looking back it's a bit odd and hard to understand for people who are not used to it. My sincerest apologies.
0 Replies
 
SiCl The Puppet
 
  1  
Reply Mon 4 Nov, 2019 08:57 am
@Ragman,
I can't seem to remove it and noticed quite a few words got mixed up on my phone's auto correct, I was to stupid to check. And I can't edit it either.
chai2
 
  1  
Reply Mon 4 Nov, 2019 09:25 am
@SiCl The Puppet,
So rewrite it, or copy and paste what you've got, and edit it from there. Rolling Eyes
0 Replies
 
izzythepush
 
  1  
Reply Mon 4 Nov, 2019 09:50 am
@SiCl The Puppet,
Rewrite then, it's problematic, especially your use of Halloween, it's not clear if you're referring to the date or a person. The phrase hit miss Halloween is meaningless.
chai2
 
  1  
Reply Mon 4 Nov, 2019 10:45 am
@izzythepush,
I believe after mentioning Halloween as a date something happened, he then refers to the girl involved as Halloween.

I'm not sure, but I think there's another girl, the original girl involved, and she and Halloween had a cat fight.

I don't know why he keep referring to this job and how he can't tell us things about it.

Dude. No one cares what you do.

You can really just say "at work", or co-worker, etc.

The way this is written reminds me of the love triangle in "Fight Club" with Helena Bonham Carter playing Halloween.

izzythepush
 
  1  
Reply Mon 4 Nov, 2019 11:07 am
@chai2,
I didn't realise how long it's been since I last saw Fight Club. I didn't even remember Helena Bonham Carter being in it.
0 Replies
 
SiCl The Puppet
 
  1  
Reply Mon 4 Nov, 2019 11:37 pm
@chai2,
Yeah I did the thing is they're all co-workers and I tend to have some bad referential habbits, like I said my mind wasn't in the right place and it was written in a rush. I haven't seen fight club so I wouldn't really know. I'm just an idiot that can't remove a stupid terribly written post he wrote and is cracking his head to much about a stupid situation from work that's effecting my everyday life strongly. I'm really sorry but I keep getting errors trying to change or remove it and I regret posting it heavily.
0 Replies
 
SiCl The Puppet
 
  1  
Reply Tue 5 Nov, 2019 12:45 am
@SiCl The Puppet,
Okay this is suppossed to be a more well organised version. There are several people involved in this, me, person A, person B, person C and our boss. Person A is a colluague that showed up at my doorstep about 2 months ago. Person B is the little sister of one of my old seniors and we've met before. Person C is supposed to be the person who took over my job but right now I'm more or less lessening her burden. From what I've heard person A is ussually pretty calm and collected and doesn't really show much emotion. Person B loves causing trouble but apperantly seems to have done something in the past to person A which now has caused a lot of issues.<br>
In our job there is a distinction of time between private work, private life, work and off time. Private work and life refer to our public lives. The other work being this job is more or less an unnoficial occupation with some rules attached to it. Off time is the time we spend at work but not on the clock, pretty much everything is a go as long as it is not in violation of our work code.<br>
I'm ussually a very strict and uptight person or at least I used to be, when person A first showed up unnofiacially she executed a little prank. This prank let to me saying something and arousing a suspicion. Because of this we ended up discussing some of our private matters which let to us having a drinking night which escalated strongly. The day after we both were shocked and didn't know what to do. Because she showed up unnofiacially there weren't any real obligations and although we discussed work we spend most of our time together doing whatever. Lately I've been working on improving my relationship with all colluaegues who due to personal reasons I have a hard time working with, one of them being person B. Person B is a special case, her personality is very chaotic and often detrimental to others. But because of her particular skill set and intelligence she's considered a valuable asset to the team. The fact her brother was quite a big deal and very similar gave her an elevated position However she's mostly kept separate from the others only occassionally being allowed out. The only person who comes into contact with her is our boss. Because of how things are and my unspoken obligations to her brother I reached out to her although I really dreaded doing so. Because of her interests and my history on Halloween I invited her over because I believed it would be one of the easiest days to handle her. Initially she was her ussual self which was fairly painful physically and psychologically. She tried forcing me into convincing our boss she could let be out more often. We had a short fight before she stopped as I always intended on granting her a chance and already had prepared for it. After that the day turned more or less into a date which went suprisingly well. The day after however person A and C would return to my place unaware of the presence of person B. It is then person C and I learned those two don't exactly get along. Person B did whatever she could to taunt person A as well as cause some troubles overall. At some point person A lost her temper and tried hitting person B but I took the blow. After that things calmed down. Person B took an particular interest in the abnormal behaviour of person A. They don't get along ussually however person A ussually remains very collected and now she seemed more vulnerable. Person B proceeded to make several advances to both me and person C. Person C eventually put a stop to things and pleased person B at my expense. This annoyed person A to the point she decided to leave for a bit. Upon her return things had more or les gotten out of hand and I was no longer there, so I don't have any details. Here person A totally snapped and ended up beating up person B who was pleased with this outburst. When I got back things had gotten pretty tense and awkward but it had calmed. Regardless I got mad at all of them. I acknowledged person B was in the wrong but person A went to far regardless. I offered person A a choice, either she'd stay at my place but she's have to tolerate the presence of person B, she'd leave to stay with person C or she'd remain with me but leave person B to person C. Person C and person B also have a small history together but in overall I'm more suited to handle person B. Person A left with person C but her anger was visible.<br>
I stood by person B throughout the entire ordeal because I believe just like her brother she's a good person on the inside but refuses to show it to others. Despite making the decision with reason it pained me incredibly because I believe to have hurt the person I've come to spend all my time with for 2 months. Both me and person A ended up crying for the majority of the day, even throughout the entire visit of our boss whom apperantly had not given her permission to leave. I should have been more suspicious when person B showed up without my boss's presence. She gave a few words about it but wasn't to harsh seeing the state we were both in. She told us person B would have to stay with me for the time being while she went to see the others to discuss matters.<br>
Initially I wrote the message because I couldn't straighten out my mind and wanted to find a way out but I'm more calm now.<br>
I just feel really bad about it all.<br>
Person B has been at my place and another colleague has provided her with clothing and rations because she isn't allowed to leave unsupervised.<br>
During the day and evening I'm working on my internship and examaninations so I have some time away from person B. But at home she's constantly with me and takes joy in tormenting me although she us holding back so I can get through my work week somehow. She's just really difficult to deal with and cam be very fickle. In overall I chose Hell over Heaven, so to say. If I had just gotten angry at person B and send her of to solitary again no one would have held a grudge but instead I chose to stand by her which maddens even person B.
SiCl The Puppet
 
  1  
Reply Tue 5 Nov, 2019 12:46 am
@SiCl The Puppet,
Person B would have been perfectly fine going back and getting punished severely and would likely have enjoyed that but instead she's now stuck with me. It's hard to explain but she's really tormenting me and I know I'm in the wrong. I'm probably just to selfish and I want to reach out to person A to apologise and talk things out but I'm not sure if I should and how i should go about it without discrediting person B to much.<br>
Right now ther are about 3 of our colleagues staying at person C her place which burdens her quite a lot but person A helps relieve her stress. One colluaegue is of on her own and is helping person B for a price that ne and person B both have to pay.<br>
Our boss is likely to have left the country again but she might also be staying at person C her place.<br>
That would make things a bit more complicated for me because our boss and I have a strange relationship, I'm more tolerated then desired by her in overall. It's because my colleagues hammered so much on my involvement in stuck like this and my boss isn't very fond of men in general.<br>
I really don't want to cause any misunderstandings or incur her wrath so I'm afraid to reach out to person C because my boss might punish me for it but that's not guaranteed it's hard to read her.
Ragman
 
  1  
Reply Tue 5 Nov, 2019 10:33 am
🛏 snoozed
0 Replies
 
jespah
 
  3  
Reply Tue 5 Nov, 2019 12:51 pm
@SiCl The Puppet,
Drama, drama, drama.

The moment people started smacking each other around, even if you were 100% unscathed, should have been the moment you left this situation, whether that means finding another job or girlfriend or moving, or some combination thereof.

People who resort to violence when they do not get their way are eventually going to unleash their fury on you.

Don't hang around, waiting for it to happen. That way lies madness, no matter how hot you think she is.
0 Replies
 
 

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