Lawyer Jokes and You!

Reply Wed 4 Sep, 2019 06:32 am
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Type: Question • Score: 7 • Views: 1,008 • Replies: 11
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Reply Wed 4 Sep, 2019 08:10 am
I told a lawyer I hadn't had a bite in three days and then I bit him.
Reply Wed 4 Sep, 2019 02:53 pm
Actually, there are only two lawyer jokes, with a few variations. The rest are relatively true stories told by former clients.
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Reply Wed 4 Sep, 2019 03:21 pm
...and then I bit him.

Darn selfish of him not to bite you as well.
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Reply Thu 5 Sep, 2019 08:26 am
Three reasons lawyers should be used for experiments instead of lab rats.

1 There's more of them.
2 You don't get attached to them like you can with a rat.
3 There's certain things a rat won't do.
Reply Fri 6 Sep, 2019 09:43 am
heh. Good one.
Reply Fri 6 Sep, 2019 09:46 am
It's an old stand up warm up joke. I was given it by another comic, and have used it myself, (not always about lawyers either.)
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Reply Sat 7 Sep, 2019 12:40 am
Worthy of watching all of the way through. Thx for sharing.

Some lawyer jokes quite often heard:

Q: What’s the ideal weight for a lawyer?
A: 3 lbs, including the urn.

Q: What do you call putting 500 lawyers on the bottom of the deepest part of the ocean?
A: A very good start.

Q: Why won’t sharks attack a lawyer who has fallen overboard while at sea?
A: Professional courtesy.
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Reply Wed 28 Apr, 2021 05:05 pm
The Anointed
Reply Fri 6 Aug, 2021 11:35 pm
Husband ... Roll over and let's do it the other way.

Wife ... Like Hell, I'm not taking the chance of giving birth to a lawyer.
The Anointed
Reply Fri 6 Aug, 2021 11:40 pm
@The Anointed,
What's the difference between a dead dog on the road beside a dead Lawyer?

The dog has skid marks in front of it.
The Anointed
Reply Fri 6 Aug, 2021 11:58 pm
@The Anointed,
What's the difference between a car full of lawyers and a Porcupine?

With the Porcupine, all the pricks are on the outside.
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