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I am getting hassled about not wearing a bra at HOME from my mother

 
 
Larren
 
Reply Sat 27 Jul, 2019 12:11 am
Hey people

I have not ever put a bra on when just around the house and its never been a problem ever until now. I want to be comfortable

I dress comfortably around the house and I wear a t shirt or top but to be comfortable I don't wear a bra

My mother's boy friend has stayed over lots in the past and its always fine. He's a nice guy

Um long story short is he is now living here most of the time and all of a sudden my mother has said I now must wear one

I think it's very unfair and I'm very confused

Is my mother being stupid about it or is she rite?

Thankk youu
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Type: Question • Score: 17 • Views: 750 • Replies: 38

 
chai2
 
  2  
Reply Sat 27 Jul, 2019 12:22 am
@Larren,
Well, you've already answered your own question as to why your mother wants you to look decent. In the past it's probably been fine because your boobs were smaller.

I'm not going to assume he's being inappropriately looking at you. You would know better about that.

If a male friend of yours came over, I bet you'd go put a bra on.

Don't know what you're confused about.

Get yourself some Genie bras or something like that for around the house. They're comfortable in the extreme.

I'll let you google them.
Larren
 
  1  
Reply Sat 27 Jul, 2019 12:25 am
@chai2,
Ok but what I am confused about is a few things
He's been here many times and I've never been asked to wear one until now
I have clothes on. Just no bra under but I have a shirt on obviously

I will Google it thanks
0 Replies
 
Larren
 
  1  
Reply Sat 27 Jul, 2019 01:01 am
I just don't understand because I'm not topless or something or wearing skimpy things. And its never been brought up before
glitterbag
 
  1  
Reply Sat 27 Jul, 2019 01:12 am
@Larren,
Oh for Christ’s sake, put on a bra while your awake and sitting around the house. Your Mom asked you to do it, just freeping do it.
Larren
 
  0  
Reply Sat 27 Jul, 2019 01:36 am
@glitterbag,
Um wow ok
You do realize its pretty uncomfortable spending all time at home including weekends, nights, mornings, adternoons. Entire time in the house with a bra on. I'm thinking you don't know but I respect your opinion
cherrie
 
  2  
Reply Sat 27 Jul, 2019 03:33 am
@Larren,
Millions of other women around the world seem to manage.

Perhaps your mother's boyfriend is uncomfortable seeing you walking around bra-less.
0 Replies
 
blatham
 
  2  
Reply Sat 27 Jul, 2019 05:24 am
@Larren,
Hesitant to speak here as I'm male. But you wrote:
Quote:
I just don't understand because I'm not topless or something or wearing skimpy things

That quote suggests you are clear on the sexual aspect of female breasts - at least as perceived by males. This obviously becomes more of a "problem" as females mature and their breasts increase in size.

None of this is your fault and I can certainly appreciate your desire for physical comfort, particularly around home. But as the ladies here point out, bras are worn by nearly everyone. I suspect, after some initial period, they become merely another piece of clothing like socks or shirt/tie.
0 Replies
 
Larren
 
  1  
Reply Sat 27 Jul, 2019 06:25 am
My boobs haven't grown. I'm an adult. And I don't know any girl that wears one at home all the time
neptuneblue
 
  1  
Reply Sat 27 Jul, 2019 06:35 am
@Larren,
I think you're making a big deal out of a simple request from your mother. It is making her uncomfortable enough to ask you to wear a bra around her boyfriend. Is there some other reason why you would want to choose to put your mother in an uncomfortable position concerning her boyfriend?

Are you trying to push boundaries here? Your house, your rules kinda thing?
0 Replies
 
blatham
 
  3  
Reply Sat 27 Jul, 2019 06:55 am
I'm going to stick up for Larren here. I'm male so haven't much to say about the comfort/discomfort of wearing a bra. Surely, though, this will be experienced differently individual to individual.

And there is something unique about the home as a place of refuge, relaxation and comfort.

It would be best if mom and daughter could talk about this but that sometimes is much more difficult than it can seem from the outside. I suspect Larren will accede to her mother's request but I certainly can understand her desire to find maximal physical comfort in the home.
jespah
 
  2  
Reply Sat 27 Jul, 2019 06:56 am
For every argument you have with the person who owns the place where you live, you are, metaphorically speaking, choosing which hill to die on.

That is, which argument do you want to be the last straw, or one of the many straws on the way to the last one.

Is this the hill you want to die on?

Hint: it's a stupid hill.

Google leisure bras.

And I also submit to you, if your bras are this uncomfortable, you may be wearing the wrong size. Something like 2/3 of all women do. Go to Nordstrom's or another high-end department store and get properly fitted by someone who knows what they're doing. You really only have to buy one bra there(as a courtesy.... at least at Nordstrom's, the fitting is free but you're using the salesperson's time which is not). Then buy your other bras wherever you want to, including online.

Gaining and losing weight, pregnancy, menopause, aging, and a whole host of other things can make our breasts change size.

PS Except for blatham, everyone who's answered you is female. We are all well aware of how bras feel.

Get fitted.
chai2
 
  3  
Reply Sat 27 Jul, 2019 10:19 am
@jespah,
Right.
Not all bras are underwire, pushup, uncomfortable deals.

Also, you make the comment that "you are an adult". Well my dear, if you're an adult you wouldn't be asking why your mom wants you to wear a bra when there are guys around. Never mind "I never did this before"

It seems like you keep trying to direct this to having someone explain to you why someone is asking you to put a bra on. Makes me wonder if you aren't really a guy yourself.

Most women, especially adult woman, if told "Go put a bra on", would probably be a bit embarrassed, obviously knowing why someone is saying that, and go put a damn bra on. It's not rocket surgery.

Question. Why is it you know to wear a bra when you go out of the house?
Answer: Same reason you should wear a comfortable one around the house in this case.

Like I said in an earlier post, and jespah said, google genie bras/leisure bras.

There is no way something like the below would be uncomforable. It's basically a pull over top with some support and coverage.

For the home, I would suggest you buy in a size or 2 larger than you think you need, so it'll be even more comfortble.

http://www.dbabyheaven.com/image/cache/catalog/p57053_500[1]-500x500-500x500.jpg
0 Replies
 
maxdancona
 
  1  
Reply Sat 27 Jul, 2019 10:52 am
@blatham,
blatham wrote:

I'm going to stick up for Larren here. I'm male so haven't much to say about the comfort/discomfort of wearing a bra. Surely, though, this will be experienced differently individual to individual.

And there is something unique about the home as a place of refuge, relaxation and comfort.

It would be best if mom and daughter could talk about this but that sometimes is much more difficult than it can seem from the outside. I suspect Larren will accede to her mother's request but I certainly can understand her desire to find maximal physical comfort in the home.


I am sympathetic to this argument... however I think the question of who owns the house is important.

I don't know the living arrangement, but if the mom owns the house then she makes the rules. If you are sharing the cost of the house then this becomes more complicated.

0 Replies
 
izzythepush
 
  1  
Reply Sat 27 Jul, 2019 11:09 am
@Larren,
Saw a coconut in half then stick a half over each breast. Not only will you preserve your modesty but you'll have a tasty nutritious snack on hand should you feel a bit peckish.
0 Replies
 
glitterbag
 
  2  
Reply Sat 27 Jul, 2019 11:56 am
@Larren,
As a matter of fact I'm quite aware of what it feels like to wear a bra all day. I even know what it feels like to wear one to the dr.office to be diagnosed with shingles that wrapped around the right side of my chest. Jespah gave you good advice......I'm sure no one wants you to feel uncomfortable, and I'm sure you don't want other people to be uncomfortable because you are not wearing undergarments.
0 Replies
 
chai2
 
  2  
Reply Sat 27 Jul, 2019 11:59 am
@jespah,
jespah wrote:


And I also submit to you, if your bras are this uncomfortable, you may be wearing the wrong size. Something like 2/3 of all women do. Go to Nordstrom's or another high-end department store and get properly fitted by someone who knows what they're doing.

Get fitted.


I gotta be honest jespah, I've gone this route twice, and was tragically disappointed at the results both times. I did it once at a high end store like Nordstroms, and another time at a specialty lingerie shop that has been around forever. Just now I looked them up on yelp, and they get 5 stars with with over 300 reviews and women going on about how great getting fitted was.

Both times I was fitted by people who had obviously done this a long time.
Both times they came up with a band width and cup size that made me stare at them like this... Shocked Drunk Rolling Eyes .

I said, that's not going to work, those numbers are totally too large. Of course they knew better, and brought me several bras of different brands to try on.

Just as I knew they would, all the bras were literally falling off me as far as the band. In addition the cup size was a joke. I could have stuffed half a box of kleenex in each cup and they still could have been too big.

I looked like an adolescent girl trying on her mothers underwear.

Once at home I took my own measurements the way they say you should, and came up with the same numbers as the bra fitters did.
But somehow it doesn't translate to how it ends up on my body.

It wasn't like the bras I was already wearing were so uncomfortable, I just wondered if I could get that Perfect Fit.

Finally I just went to the store on a day I was in a really good mood, after eating a nice big breakfast, and tried on bras for what seemed like hours. Different brands fit differently, so I was taking identical items in different sizes and cups, cross referencing them, just keeping my mind on what I was doing, and finally found a style/brand/size that was really good, and bought a bunch of them. If I were a drinker I would have gone home afterwards and gotten really loose.

I'm not a strange shape or anything either. You just have to do what works for you.

I've mentioned Genie Bras because when I was first starting to sell on ebay, I managed to score a whole bunch of them at a ridiculous price, and they were selling like hotcakes online.
When I decided to move away from that product and concentrate on something else, I had like a dozen of them left over in my size, so I just kept them for myself. I hadn't even tried one on before.

Once I did, I never went back. Sure they're not much to look at, but who cares? They're under your clothes, they support, and they feel soft and good.

Honestly, I don't know why bras have to be such torture devices....oh wait....sex appeal....yeah.

I don't know if fashion mags still do this, but I remember this whole thing of "Under your work clothes, you'll feel so feminine and sexy, etc"

Are men musing on how under their clothes they are just so manly?






Linkat
 
  3  
Reply Sat 27 Jul, 2019 12:56 pm
@Larren,
Larren wrote:

My boobs haven't grown. I'm an adult. And I don't know any girl that wears one at home all the time


Ok you are an adult so you have a choice here - you can move out and pay your own rent and then walk around all you want without a bra on (or buck naked if you like).

You are in your mom's home - your mom's home so it is her rules.

Your choice wear a bra or move out - simple.
0 Replies
 
chai2
 
  2  
Reply Sat 27 Jul, 2019 01:12 pm
I don't think Larren is feelin' the love here. Very Happy
0 Replies
 
Jewels Vern
 
  0  
Reply Sat 27 Jul, 2019 01:16 pm
@Larren,
Go to the department store in the mall where they have someone who will help you find a bra that is comfortable.
0 Replies
 
 

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